I take it back

by Anne

Dear Sabres: I didn't miss any of you, please leave again.

Sabres lose 3-2 to the Pittsburgh Penguins and looked generally craptastic for the few minutes I saw.

At least now that Paul Gaustad is a moron and apparently hurt his hand, I might get my Nathan Gerbe recall wish fulfilled.

Ryan Miller, you clearly are not dead to me, please stay.

The rest of you can easily be traded for your Team USA counterparts. Tomorrow the role of Steve Montador will be played by Tim Gleason. The role of Paul Gaustad will be played by Ryan Kesler.

Now, be gone.

The Kings are currently winning 4-0. How 'bout THEM, apples, SABRES.

Tomorrow is the trade deadline and I will be in a middle school all day. I hope for tons of frantic texts and Twitter DMs to scroll through at 3:00 when I get out.

Woo! Let's Go Kings!

Parallel Universe

by Anne

The Sabres are supposed to be better than the Kings. This is unfamiliar territory. 

Thank goodness I was distracted by getting ready to go out during Saturday's Sabres game.

What is WRONG with them? They lose 4-3 to the Hurricanes and then 4-0 to the Blue Jackets? Come ON, boys. Miller looked really off-kilter on Friday. At one point after letting in a softie under his arm he looked at his glove as though checking for holes. No Ryan, you just let in a softie.

Words can't even begin to describe the Blue Jackets first goal. I mean, the puck did take an unexpected bounce off the boards back at Lalime but good LORD. That was just painful. Worst goal of the year candidate, right up there with Lydman's goal on Toskala. If you've been paying attention this season, you know which one I'm talking about. It's not fun to be on this side of those kinds of goals.

They haven't been the same since the West coast roadtrip slump. I think Lindy's tried the "rest" angle for recovering after multiple bad games in  a short span of time. Based on the sloppy passing and putrid transition game we've seen over the last few fiascos, I'm hoping they're getting solid "this is the system. the system is your friend. love the system and the system will love you." practice time in. They look like they desperately need it. 

Far more pleasant to discuss is the Kings current situation. After a horrrrrible first period on Saturday afternoon, the Kings rallied from a 3-0 deficit to defeat the Red Wings 4-3 in regulation.

It isn't as impressive as the Caps current 89 game win streak, but Saturday's victory over the Red Wings set a Kings franchise record for consecutive wins. Bailey wanted to celebrate in Bailey style:

Yay!

I never thought I'd say this but:

Sabres, you could learn something from the Kings about winning hockey games.

Also, yay Saints!!

Another "also:" A few months ago we were all debating whether or not the Maple Leafs would ever win a game, now we're playing the waiting game of "will they ever been scored on again?" Good on ya Jiggy. Maybe being back with Francois Allaire is really that crucial to your success as a goaltender? Whatevs.

No time for a pity party

by Anne

Sigh. Of course they lost to the Senators. It's their way. It's what. they. do.

How can you expect to win when you have ONE shot on goal in the ENTIRE first period. The cheer that went up from the crowd at HSBC Arena when the Full Monty got that shot on goal was hilarious. Good lord, that was bad.

Based on this team's record, I should probably love them, but I just hate them more and more every game.

If we didn't have Ryan Miller, we'd be the Maple Leafs. Disgusting.

The Kings lost in regulation to the Coyotes last night. Meh, they played ok. The worst part was Justin Williams breaking his leg early in the game. Wooo! We had our top line back for a whole shift! Ugh. Get better soon, Willy.

Then Greener had a "fight."

Dear Matt Greene,

Please don't fight. I understand that you'll be labeled poorly if you back down from a fight, but for the sake of your team, let Simmer and Crazy Face Ivananas do the fighting. OR maybe get tips from them? I love you and I don't like seeing you embarrassed like that. Please cease and desist.

Love,

All your fans

There's no time to feel bad about that disgusting display of a Sabres game last night because tonight they're in St. Louis. Please win? Royzie is hurt :/ I hate him but he occasionally makes good plays. Maybe Timmy will have to move back to center now and talk to Goose about how to win faceoffs?

I dyed my hair really dark brown the other day and then I noticed that my hair is the exact same color as Oscar's fur. Almost black, but actually just really dark brown. Whoops.

Don't forget to vote in the poll in the left sidebar, and here's the roster for reference!

The One Where Anne Loses Her Cool

by Anne

Now I'm back to being pissed off. I was sad for a hot minute and wrote my crying emoticon about it but now I'm done. I'm over it. I'm mad again.

You can all go write your "less than-slash-three" broken heart things and I'll be over here acknowledging with full gusto that the Buffalo Sabres organization is pathetic and I'm sad to admit that I'm a fan and even sadder to admit that I write a blog about the S.S. Buffalo FAILShip

When you think about the team as individual people it's hard to rip them apart with full force. Players are supposed to play for the logo on the front and I will treat them as such. I'm a fan of the team and the city the logo represents, the players are just cogs in a very broken-down machine.

We had two stellar seasons between 2005 and 2007. That was fucking great. We won the President's Trophy. That was fucking sweet. Then they crapped the bed against Ottawa and we've been in a pathetic shame spiral of whiny finger-pointing and shoulder shrugging since then.

Those two fantastic seasons from 2005-2007 were the only two seasons we've made the playoffs since 2001. We missed the playoffs in 2002, 2003, 2004, 2008 and now, 2009. That's pathetic. How is that ok? Why is ownership okay with this? Why? WHY. Tell me WHY. I demand to know WHY this is apparently OK.

I want change. I'm fed up with this. I'm not sorry they missed the playoffs, hopefully by some act of GOD this means something will change. Will we get change? No, of course not. We'll get more bullshit conservative action from management and be forced to accept basically the exact same team next season and they will be EXACTLY as successful as they were this season.

Where are the excuses this time around, gentlemen? There aren't any? EXACTLY.

In 2007-2008 the stand-by excuses were "No real leadership" "Players filling out new roles." blah blah blah. Well in 2008-2009 we had a captain, a clear-cut leader who perhaps was ineffective. Was Craig Rivet a bad pick-up? I don't think so but he certainly didn't spark this team. These "new roles?" No longer new. Jason Pominville has 20 goals? Jochen Hecht is garbage, he's been AWFUL this season. Patrick Lalime was mostly awful while Miller was out, Tallinder had more terrible giveaways and moments of just pathetic defensive play than I'd care to think about. Toni Lydman took the world's most untimely penalties during several games this season, and they were just soft. There's no grit. I'd rather have that second round pick we gave up for Dominic Moore than have his "contributions" from the last month. One goal. One. He has a decent faceoff % but that's about it. Wow. Effing great. I'm fucking inspired by this team. I adore Teppo but this needs to be his last season. Please retire.

Fuck this attachment Buffalo has with Lindy Ruff too. I think highly of Lindy Ruff as an individual. He's a wonderful human being. You know who else is a great human being? Oprah. But I don't want her to coach my hockey team. I don't understand why Buffalo is all "stay the course" with this crap. This team STILL hasn't recovered from losing Briere and Drury. That is a problem. In my opinion, a coaching problem.

Last night's win sucked. It was the worst 5-1 victory I've ever experienced because it was COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS. Where was this effort last week? Last month? THE LAST TWO SEASONS? For the HOT MINUTE before the Rangers won, it was fun, but every one of those goals felt like a swift kick to the stomach because in the end THEY MEANT NOTHING.

When we missed the playoffs last season I was sad but had hope for this year. I don't have hope for next season. I fully expect us to be a draft lottery team next year and I'm not saying that to be sensationalist, that's how optimistic these last two seasons have made me.

I hate that I've made hockey so damn important to me and this bunch of losers and ne'er-do-wells matters to me so much.

"I'M AS MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

I Hate Their Guts But They're Still Cute

by Anne

On March 13, the Sabres held their 4th annual Aces and Blades charity casino night to benefit the Buffalo Sabres Foundation. Here are some snapshots from various galleries. I don't think that these will erase the memory of the last few games but it might ease the pain a little.

Did someone just say something "untoward" to you, Royzie?
This picture also explains why there were crazy iron tree things all over the place by the security entrance for the days leading up to the event.


Hey there, hot stuff, lookin' snappy.
COME BACK SOON


I'm sorry that I kind of want you to be fired :(


Staffy gives (or maybe gets) some straight talk


Dang, that's a lot of buttons, Teppo



Who let Pie gamble?!



I still love you. You didn't ask for this.



Hahaha Patty looks about 11 years old



Matty! Why didn't you play last night?



Hey Rat!



Rayzor
probably talking smack about Barnaby



Rivs is dealin' it up



I love him.



This might be one of my favorite pictures of all time.
Robyyyyy!!!!

Its That Time Again

by Anne

Last year 'round about this time, I un-pushed the panic button and reached a level of complacency I did not know I possessed in regards to the Buffalo Sabres pathetic shame spiral out of playoff contention.

I think my un-push is earlier than last season, actually.

Around this time last year, things were so bad Michael Funk was called up for more than one game. Michael. Funk. The Funky. Chicken.

Mike Weber was our one clinging hope for the playoffs.

I'm not even going to factor in goaltending, because that's not completely why we lost last night.

It is quite difficult to win games when our first goal is scored my Maxim Afinogenov flailing about wildly next to the post like a worm on a hook and one of his teammates banks a goal in off of his skate. I really don't think that should even count.

I don't know what Jochen Hecht's goal looked like because I straight up did not watch, nor did I seek out "highlights." Once it was 4-1, I gave the Sabres the proverbial middle finger and watched House instead.

Whatever. Fuck them. I'm here to offer my list of suggestions for an interesting conclusion to the season while we wait for the World Championships to start.

• Lindy, put all the players' names in a hat and assign positions at random. Perhaps my dream of a top line of Mikael Tellqvist, Henrik Tallinder and Andrew Peters can finally be realized, with Chris Butler in net and Sabretooth dressed as our back up.

• Lindy, once you're finished with that hat, wear it during the game. Might I suggest this one:

• Three legged skating. Think about it, let me know

• Fill the penalty box with live and very unhappy scorpions. THAT will keep them out of there.
  

• If, for some reason, someone decides they still need to take a penalty, can you do my taxes while you're in there?

• Everyone use absurdly illegal hockey sticks. Royzie, here's yours:

That's a $200 fine, pleaseandthanks

• Wear figure skates. I hear they're way more uncomfortable than hockey skates. Compensate with a few nifty jumps. I think Tallinder and Pommer would look pretty bad ass doing this maneuver:

What NOW, Jeff Carter?!

• In addition to figure skates, wear this former Kings' alternate jersey:

If this jersey is good enough for Wayne Gretzky, its good enough for Adam Mair

• Bring up Tyler Myers from Kelowna. Why the hell not? Let's get Luke Adam up here at the same time. What's the worst that can happen? We lose? We'll do that anyway!
  

• Implement a "pants optional" policy for post game interviews. We probably won't be able to see this, but we'll know. Oh, we'll know. This does NOT apply for interviewers, Paul Hamilton. Take your inspiration from Ron Hextall:
  

• Sorry about that video.
  

• Allow me to be head coach for the night. I can see it now: seven minute shifts, constant and inexplicable shuffling of the lines, Maxim Afinogenov covering the point on the power play, repeated goalie switches (on the fly) and lots of meaningless and overly emphatic hand gestures. Also, I'm not very tall, so I probably won't be able to see over most of your heads. So duck or let me stand behind Derek Roy all the time. Or I'll just sit on Andrew Peters' shoulders. That'll totally work for the duration of a game.

• Instead of scouting the other team with video. Watch D2: The Mighty Ducks. They managed to win, learn from them.

• Once we're losing by 3 or more goals AGAIN, someone pull a Ned Braden:

Jaro, I'm lookin' at you

• Everytime the other team is about to score, toss sex toys on the ice

• Turn off the lights and play in the dark with spelunking helmets:

spiffy, no?

• Instead of shooting t-shirts out of that gun-thingy, shoot everyone a refund for their tickets/third jersey/beer tab/lifelong commitment
  

• Instead of the anthems, Derek Roy has to sing "Can't Find a Better Man"(I totally stole your video, Rach) while Tim Connolly does the worm:
  

• Give everyone tickets to watch you all play at the World Championships in Switzerland this summer. It'll be super fun! I don't know who will write the blog for Team USA though, because Adam Burish will be IN THE PLAYOFFS.

I hope you'll take time to consider my proposal. I would really like to be entertained the rest of this season. Thanks!

If none of those can be made to happen, how about WINNING A FEW DAMN GAMES THAT MEAN SOMETHING?!

Thanks!

That's It

Dear Buffalo Sabres,

Go to hell.

I'm done.

This team does not deserve to make the playoffs.

I hate that I work at HSBC Arena right now.

Love, Anne

Let's Go Canucks! Let's Go Kings!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Deep Breaths

by Anne

This week has been not so great. I haven't slept enough and I hate oversleeping and missing classes and I did that on Wednesday, stupid Pirates game.

The game last night certainly did not help. I really tried to not pay attention, and I was very successful. As the game progressed, the power play music became more of an insult than something to get fired up about. I guess the only positive you can take away from that game is that, even though we failed to convert on like 10 power plays, at least we didn't give up any shorties.

What is with putrid losses that boosts sales? We were shut out by the Preds one night this season and I made a killing and last night I did even better.

How ironic is it that we were all saying "Uh-oh, Gaustad and Vanek are our top two guys in front of the net on the power play, this might be a problem." and the very first game without both of them has THAT many penalties. Cruel cruel fate. We would've won that game 5-1 if Vanek or Goose had been there, I feel pretty confident about that statement.

Speaking of Van, Thomas Vanek is an excellent hockey player, there's no question about that, he builds plays, scores goals and plays in all situations, he's a complete player. If he hit more, it'd be even better. However, for all that he brings to the table, he is not this entire team. Although, its hard to prove that he's not a HUGE part of what makes this team work. When he's on, the team is on, when he's off... ::shudder:: You can't say "We've won without him" because the truth of the matter is, we haven't. He's played in almost 300 straight games. Lose or win, he's been there.

Nathan Gerbe was fine last night, I guess, but really, no one was paying attention to him.except for that one really awesome hit. The rest of the team was such a mess, how was he supposed to step up and get anything done? He's a rookie playing in his like seventh game, he needs leadership that he wasn't getting.

Ok, another positive I take away from this is that Matt Ellis is one of the guys being pegged to take the crease on the power play. He's come a long way from being put on waivers twice in his career. He hasn't by any means established a permanent presence on this team, but he's been one of our most consistent players this season, especially since being called back up. After seeing what a d-bag Mike Ryan was the other night, this #37 is my favorite in recent memory. Sorry MJ.

Also, completely unrelated to hockey, this whole Chris Brown allegedly beating down Rihanna thing really bothers me. Unless you're playing hockey, hitting is never the answer. I like his music and I had one of his songs as my default ring tone on my phone. I listen to my iPod non-stop on campus, and everytime one of his songs came on, my stomach would turn, so that constant little "ugh" hasn't been helping my mood. Fortunately I've changed my ringtone and taken all of his songs off my iPod.

Anyway, it was just one awful gutcheck of a game and the team will bounce back. Unfortunately their next opponent is San Jose. We're still in the playoff picture and one loss, no matter how painful is not going to de-rail an entire season. A bad power play doesn't mean bad even strength play. It was bad timing for a game like that with our power play being so slapdash.

Reggie is back and Doof is headed back to Portland. See ya, Doof!

It'll get better. It might get worse first, but it will get better.

ETA: Good. The AHL took notice that what happened in the Pirates game with Gerbe was baloney, and have suspended the other player, Tim Conboy for sucker punching him. Take THAT, crappy AHL officiating.

I've Had Enough

by Anne

If I didn't work at the Arena I would have nothing to do with this team for the next few games.

The Pirates won 4-2. Woo.

That's all I got.

Henrik is thinking: Dude, Ryan Kesler is rubbin' you up, why are you more interested in your phone
Henrik, you and I are totally in sync.
Can I be the triplet?
I can't skate, but I love Big Bear a lot... does that count for anything?

This sucks. I want Mark Mancari. I want him NOW.

SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE.

DRUNK BLOGGING IS A BAD IDEA

by Anne

SO OK I'M DRUNK. I shouldn't be blogging but WHHOOPS, here I go.

THat game sucked. We were winning 2-1 AND THEN SOMEHOW LOST 5-2 TO THE PENS. Pommer and Vans were all like "Woo! I'm gonna score and it'll be sweet." AND IT WAS until the 3rd.

FOUR GOALS IN ONE PERIOD. FOUR? FOUR?!?!?!?

I needed to ease the pain so I downed my usual G&Ts at Coulter Bay and Fat Bob's: Now with fewer bloggers!

Fortunately the night out was fun even if that game sucked donkey business. Some weird dude was creeping up on us while we were at Fat Bob's and some dude was dancing way too much for Fat Bob's atmosphere but our slowly disintegrating plaster pig friend was there so it was all good.

I just hate this team right now. Hate. Them. I really hate hockey right now. Death to hockey. Painful awful practices and bag skates and all sorts of awful drills for them all in the coming days. Except for Patches. He didn't play in either of these games. He and I can drink heavily while the others skate.

I don't even have the energy ot search for pictures of Adam Mair making funny faces. I hate them all and I want them all to regret the days they were drafted during the next few practices, LINDY. DON'T THROW THIS ONE IN THE GARBAGE. THERE'S NO MORE ROOM. I'd like to throw them all in the garbage.

How in the name of all that is good are we supposed to think we can compete in this league if we have collapses like that? Guess what? We can't. Teams that do well, that succeed, that compete for the Cup don't play the way the Sabres have played these last few games. Abyssmal. Just awful.

I know this is the gin talking but games like this one where we were playing SO WELL and hten just FELL APART make me wish I wasn't so friggin emotionally invested in this group of losers and ne'erdowells.

As a fan these last 2 games have insulted me. I feel insulted by the Sabres. I know they don't WANT to lose, but this crap just isn't cutting it.

Now we have three whole days to ruminate about the next debacle: Sabres @ Bruins on Wednesday.

I'm sure by then I'll have sobered up and might actually watch the game, but then again, in the clear non-gin filtered light of day I might still hate them.

I'm drunk.

Love,
Anne

Ooooooooooooooooookay

by Anne


Miraculously there are still four Buffalo Sabres that have not been declared legally deceased in my world:

These 4 players saw a grand total of 14:48 of ice time, and all of those minutes belonged to Ryan Miller

In WCB news, Rick Nash scored a goal! I'm not really sure who his team was playing against, but they must be TERRIBLE. He had a breakaway during the game, but didn't score. Gee, I wonder if that other team realizes that he's in the Top 10 list of players in the NHL you DON'T WANT TO ALLOW TO BE SET UP ON A BREAK AWAY. I mean I wonder WHAT'S WRONG with that other team that they were UNABLE to control him. It's really FORTUNATE for them that their goaltender was able to make a save.

On an unrelated note, Adam Mair, who I've heard might have recently ceased to exist because of events I am not privy to, apparently loves live theatre. Thereby adding even more confusion to the ongoing conflict within me between "Adam Mair is kind of Scary" and "Adam Mair is Kind of Totally Badass."

Here's hoping this "Team from Buffalo" I've heard rumored can get their act together to at least not be TOTALLY HUMILIATED tomorrow in Pittsburgh.

THANKS A LOT

by Anne

I WAS HAVING A TERRIBLE DAY BEFORE I GOT TO THE ARENA AND THEN SALES WERE BAD AND THEN THE SABRES LOST TO THE MOTHER EFFING TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING. (although congratulations to Steven Stamkos on his first and second NHL goals) OK,THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT BEING NICE AND FINDING SILVER LINING MALARKEY.

A WIN WOULD'VE BEEN MUCH APPRECIATED.

I WAS SO DESPERATE FOR A LITTLE LOVE THAT WHEN MY "HEY THERE, YOU ATTRACTIVE MAN" RADAR WENT OFF WHILE WALKING OUT THE SECURITY DOORS AFTER THE GAME, I WAS REALLY EXCITED. THEN I SAW THAT IT WAS TIM CONNOLLY AND I IMMEDIATELY WANTED TO BATHE. THANKS A LOT, SABRES, THANKS A LOT.

THE ONLY SABRE WHO IS NOT DEAD TO ME IS CLARKE MACARTHUR BECAUSE MY SISTER IS QUITE FOND OF HIM AND HENRIK TALLINDER WHO RANDOMLY HARRY HOUDINI'D INTO THE GAME MERE HOURS AFTER IT WAS DECLARED HE WOULD NOT PLAY.

THANK THE LORD MY 9:00 CLASS IS CANCELLED TOMORROW SO I CAN SLEEP IN.

I'M GOING TO EAT SOME BREAKAWAY BERRIER AND SNUGGLE WITH MY CAT.

BLAH.

Hockey Hangover

by Anne

I woke up this morning nauseous and with a pounding headache. Last season I would've blamed it on the newly swirling about pollen that comes with this warming time of year. Now I blame it solely on the Buffalo Sabres.

I feel almost as sick as I did the day after we went out for St. Patrick's Day. And that was the most hungover I've ever been in my entire life. I haven't puked yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if I did.

This is how the Sabres make Anne feel today

Normally I try to find the good, I try to say "Hey, here are the good points!" "Don't hate the team!"

BUT, I take it all back. I am personally mad at each Sabre. I know they didn't want to lose, but they certainly didn't play like it. A 3-1 lead would've been sufficient last year, but GUESS WHAT? This isn't last year! This team isn't 1/2 as good as last year's team. Forget Briere and Drury, this team just sucks. Would've sucked with them, sucks without them.

They all suck. Forget being young, forget having a lot of pressure put on them. SCREW YOU. Every player in the national hockey league has the same amount or MORE pressure than any Sabre. Can you imagine what it's like to be Sidney Crosby right now? People have spent years talking about how he's the next Gretzky, he's hurt, and now everyone is saying the team is fine without him? No pressure to be great when you get back, Sid. Pominville sits somewhere around #20 in the league in scoring, Roysie, not far behind. While that's nothing to sneeze at, where has it gotten us? Not too far. There was a time when we were 5th in the Conference. 5TH!

Now we'll be lucky if we finish 10th. Even if had made the playoffs, we would've been swept in the first round, and that would've been embarrassing.

Fuck it all. Stop playing Miller. The jig is up, he's mentally exhausted. While I don't know if benching him will really help him, I think that we need to anyway. I know Thibault isn't so great, but neither is this team

This pack of let-downs needs to re-group this offseason and figure out what the hell they can do to fix this team. ARGH! I can't even blame Kalinin! He's my favorite scapegoat!

All I know is Weber and Sekera are not totally at fault. They were the only players who snagged a + for the Sabres last night. And thats not because they didn't play much, either. Weber had 20:19 minutes and Sekera had 25:17.

Andrej "Reggie" Sekera is my new favorite Sabre. Doof looks too much like a skeezy guy who dated some friends of mine for me to love him.

Smile pretty, Reg!

I know, I stare off into the distance trying to find answers about this team, too

But, because he's a Sabre, I still hate him.