How we gonna paaaaaayyy...

by Anne

I didn't watch Saturday's Sabres' game. I was seeing a musical about people who have foreclosed on their homes called "mortgage." Or something like that. They all seemed to have AIDS and all the girls were in knee high boots with crazy curly hair. I'm not sure, but that sounds like me on a typical Saturday night. Wait, I don't have AIDS. Not that there's anything wrong with having... nevermind.

ANYWAY, the point is I didn't watch the game and henceto therefore happenstantially I can pretend it went anyway I want.

Here's my take:

The Sabres had a COMMANDING 3-0 lead CHARGING UNRELENTINGLY into the third period. Patrick Lalime had already stopped 34968734.4 shots, all by Jason Spezza with two somehow by Dany Heatley all the way in San Jose Theodore.

THEN, as if by BLACK MAGIC, Chris Neil and Jarkko "Chompy Times" Ruutu held Lalime hostage and locked Miller in a beer portable and the Sabres were forced to play the entire third period with NO GOALTENDER.

THEREFORE, Myers, Tallinder, Rivet, Lydman, Sekera, Perreault, Korab, Barnaby, McKee, Mogilny, and TSUJIMOTO combined to block an additional 5386723 and 2/3 shots. HOWEVER, those evil RAT BASTARD Ottawa Senators managed to fire off 5386728 and 2/3 shots and they won 5-0. Or wait, I guess it was 5-3 with the Sabres 3-0 lead EATEN ALIVE.

ANARCHY AND CHAOS AND PANDEMONIUM SHALL RAIN DOWN FROM THE STREETS OF BUFFALO.

This is how I choose to believe WHY WON'T MY V KEY WORK PROPERLY that game went.

In a related story, the Ottawa Senators have released their new uniform design:

I JUST REALIZED THAT MOST OF THE SENATORS I REALLY HATE ARE ON OTHER TEAMS.

Whatevs.

Good night.

The Kings lost too.

They suck.

MAYBE IT'S ME? Why do all my teams SUCK and then alternately ROCK sometimes? I can't take the swinging of the pendulum, BOYS. WIN MORE.

I wish the Sabres were more like my fantasy team. We are kicking ass and TAKING NAMES. What does that expression even mean V KEY START WORKING ALL THE TIME PLEASE VVVVVVVV.

Yes, I am intoxicated.

Oscar has some thoughts: lp.tjuvb jnhb

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Good night

Worst Game Day Ever

by Anne

I'd love to be able to write a whole blog post about tonight's game against the Bruins and them being a divisional opponent and what not. Here's all I can think of to say:

• Lydman in, Sekera out
  

• The Bruins played last night all the way to a shootout in the empty cave known as Philips arena in Atlanta, GA; they didn't skate this morning
  

• Tim Thomas is hurt with a "minor undisclosed injury" according to Bruins' head coach Claude Julien.
  

• I have to leave early to help everyone in the Arena put up signs to point Danny to the right locker room 

But Drew and Clarke and Paul and Adam and Hank and Ryan and Thomas and Tim and Derek and Jason and Jochen and Steve and Nathan and Mike and Other Tim and Matt and Pat and Craig and Toni and Reggie and other Pat and Chris and That Big Guy are in THAT room.

Yes Danny, I know, but you go with them now:

Oh. Ok. See ya later.

 :'(

Sabres Defeat Kitties 5-2; Pie's debut

by Anne

The Sabres are the best team everz!

When I walked into Cari's house and the Bruins' game was on, I nearly wept. I spotted Pie on the ice without seeing his number because I know his skating style and I miss it. :(

Anyway, that first period was a doozy and a half. It was all kinds of fun. Especially because each player I told a story about (almost) score while I was telling that story.

It started like this:

Kim: Who has the road A's

All of us: Roy and Hecht

Me: I don't get why Roy wears an "A." Well, really it's more that I don't understand why Mike Grier doesn't have one.

RJ: Scooooooooores! Mike Grier!

At the close of the 2008-2009 season, my list of favorite Sabres went like this: 1. Spacek; 2. Paille; 3. Rivet; 4. Butler; 5. Ellis

With 1 and 2 gone, I guess that bumps everyone up. Matt Ellis responded to his promotion by scoring a goal. Thanks, Matty!

Awwww.

Similar things happened for Myers and Ellis after recently being bumped up the ranks. Also, Derek Roy had a much better night in his own zone and made a particularly big in-the-crease save while I was telling a story about him.

Grizz had an interesting night. From the game recap:

Buffalo LW Clarke MacArthur suffered from flulike symptoms earlier in the week and wore a surgical mask on the team's flight to South Florida, but was in Buffalo's starting lineup Wednesday.

Hokay. I guess whatever works to keep the team healthy?

At the end of the 3rd, Dominic Moore draped himself aaall over Grizz, yet Grizz got a penalty. Perhaps he got a bit mouthy for the ref's taste so he was kicked out of the game. Patty Kaleta was already in the box for this:

Take THAT, Nathan Horton.

That'll teach people to start "Stafford-for-Horton" trade rumors

When Grizz arrived, all pissed off into the box and dramatically hit the door and the penalty box door holder guy with his stick, Patty gave him a reassuring fistbump to the Grizz leg when he got in there which seemed to say "It's ok Grizz, I miss Danny too."

:(

He got an assist!

Also, stop calling him "Daniel." It's Danny. :(

Woo!

Also, Big Bear scored and the Canucks won. Willie Mitchell also nearly killed Jonathan Toews :(

Finally, from the LA Kings trainer Joe Caligiuri's blog Offsides (link in the blog roll):

The most common of the pranks is the tie clipping. Make sure you have a good tie or its gonna get clipped. Last year, Kyle Calder had his tie clipped and as the circle of pranks suggests, someone must pay the dividends. As the team dress code requires, all players and coaches are to wear suits to all home games at Staples Center. With this rule in mind, Kyle Calder raced to Matt Greene’s house one morning after pre-game skate and stole every single piece of dress clothing out of his closet. Upon returning to his house, he had yet nothing in his closet but two dozen swaying hangers. Looking high and low, he managed to find an old suit, one that more closely represented his suit from first communion. Being his only suit, he squeezed himself into the little boys pants and suit coat and walked his way shamelessly through the Staples center corridors. Picture Pee-Wee Herman in a khaki suit – Priceless.

My favorite is the use of "shamlessly." Also, the suit was probably Doughty's, haha.

WHY?

by Anne

I knew it was coming but it doesn't make it suck any less.

Sissy's leaving me :(

I'm really way too sad about this.

How could you leave me here with THEM?!

So sad.

He's a smelly old Hab.

They won't appreciate is abruptness and caveman tendencies.

I will miss mah Sissy.

Free Agency LiveBlogish

by Anne

So on Trade Deadline Day, I kept a blog post going that I continually updated.

So far, all that's happened today is I decided to eat Special K for breakfast. The make-up of the entire NorthEast division is shaken.

Well, Gomez and Higgins swapped places yesterday along with some AHL type players and Bouwmeester signed in Calgary for five years. There was a deal in place to send Heatley to Edmonton, yet for some reason he said 'No' and will not waive his no-trade clause for it. What a douche.

10:15 am: opted for Cheerios instead of Special K. Story developing...

10:48: Drinking coffee out of my Mom's "I love My Cocker Spaniel" travel mug. In case I need to go somewhere and take my coffee with me...

10:55: Discovered I am drinking out of the wrong whole in the top of the travel mug. Situation has been remedied. No wonder it was taking so long to drink.

11:25: Danrick and Heniel Sedin sign identical 5 year contracts worth $6.1 million per year. Yay!!

12:00: It's nooooooon! Wooooooo!!!!

12:01: What do you MEAN, nothing's happened yet?!

12:10: Oh no, I have to pee. I can't tear myself away. Too much coffee.

12:15: Mattias Ohlund signs with Tampa Bay. Alix will be devastated. I'm sad :(

12:35: The first caller question they take on NHL Live is about the Sabres. Like most people EJ thinks they won't do much today. He mentioned Sissy testing the market and my heart broke a little :(

12:48: Radek Dvorak re-signs in Florida. My world is completely turned on its head.

1:00: Kovalev staying in Montreal? Komisarek heading home to the Islanders? All rumors kicking around Twitter.

1:14: Colton Orr signed by Maple Leafs 4 years/4 million. $1 million/year Word?

1:17: The less cool defenseman in the NHL named Greene (Andy) re-signs with the Devils. Good.

1:23: Caller on NHL Live mentions that the Islanders are struggling to meet the cap FLOOR. And they've got Tavares hype, Chelios has said he'd play there, Komisarek could get a big salary from them. Things look good for the Islanders these days. Clearly they didn't get this way by over spending.

1:36 Kovalev officially re-signs with Montreal. Two years for about $8.8 million.

1:41: David Booth signs 6 year contract extension with the Panthers.

1:45: Maybe Kovalev didn't sign? Lots of conflicting reports. Pierre Lebrun told EJ Hradek that Kovalev's agent said no deal has been reached.

1:52: Craig Anderson going to Colorado. Really securing those top goalies, aren't we, Avs?
I think I'm the only one who doesn't think this is an answer. Darren Pang agrees, thank goodness.

2:06:Hossa officially a Blackhawk. Ugh. Its a lot of years. Matt Walker signs with Tampa from Chicago for 4 years.

2:11: Hossa signs for TWELVE YEARS but only $5.2 million a year. Ty Conklin signs with St. Louis for two years.

2:24: Dwayne Roloson signs with the Islanders. Excellent signing in my opinion. If the Islanders sign Komisarek and Tavares can play the way people hope he can, things are looking better for the Islanders next season.

2:31: Are you all sitting down? No, really, you'll want to sit down for this. THE BUFFALO SABRES MIGHT HAVE ACTUALLY SIGNED SOMEONE I'VE HEARD OF TODAY. I know! I don't believe it either. Steve Montador is apparently a Sabre. I'm not sure about this. It's not confirmed.

2:32: Sabres texts were on the ball. Its official. Two years of the Full Monty in Buffalo.

2:42: Apparently MJ says the Full Monty has off-ice antics like Timmy. Yessss!!! As long as he's not as injury prone, I'm ok with it.

2:51: Donald Brashear goes to New York. Fills in the hole left by Colton "I ain't Bobby" Orr.

2:54: Knuble signs with the Capitals. Also, I missed that Thomas Kopecky signed with Chicago.

3:08: Scott Niedermayer signs with Anaheim for 1 year $6million. I guess that means he won't retire in August.

3:15: Joel Ward stays in Nashville, Aaron Rome signs with Vancouver and Lucas Krajicek stays with Tamps. Ho-kay.

3:24: Quote from Sabres Edge, from Montador's agent makes me feel fine about his signing. I wasn't against it, but I'm really really appreciating the commitment Darcy has made to signing physically tough, no-quit players:

"He’s a solid, character individual who comes to play every night," Montador’s agent, Steve Kasper, said by phone. "He was looking to go to a place that has the same type of reputation as a team, competes hard, and Buffalo is a hockey city. He couldn’t be happier."

3:30: Brian Boucher is signed to back-up Ray Emery in Philly. He was in net for this goal, btw:

Ha.

3:51: My beloved Sissy has apparently signed with Montreal for 3 years. I'm devastated. OUR OWN DIVISON, TOO?!?!?

3:55: MONTREAL? REALLY? COME ON! There's no WAY they'll appreciate his caveman-like appearance and startlingly blunt interview style up there! Whyyyyy?!?!?!

4:00: Khabibuln to Emdonton. SISSY USED TO PLAY FOR EDMONTON!!

4:02: Ok, well I have to get ready for work, so this "Live Blog" will end on an extremely sour note. :( Habs fans, take care of Sissy.

I Can't Talk About it

by Anne

The Sabres have made an offer to Sissy, yet Darcy feels that normally when a deal is not struck by now, the player is going to try their luck on July 1.

Here is what I have to say about that:

Do. Not. Want.
:'(
I wants mah Sissy tah stay.



Please?

Ok Fine

by Anne

Its the 10th Anniversary of "No Goal."

There. I've acknowledged it.

It still makes my stomach turn. It was a terrible moment for a 13 year old to experience, staying up until 1:30 a.m.

Barf.

Here's a frontrunner for one of my new favorite Stanley Cup pictures ever. My question is: Who is taking the picture?

Snuggle up with Stanley
If I were his girlfriend, I would totally be ok with his choice of sleeping companion

It's OOOOOOVER

by Anne

Here lies the 2008-2009 Buffalo Sabres playoff hopes
Loved by many
Missed by all

Say it together now folks:

I'm sure once the sadness wears off and people will start freaking out about "WHAT WENT WRONG?!?!"

I'm sad but I've been ready for this for weeks. They brought this on themselves. Except Ryan Miller. Ryan Miller deserves better.

Decision Time

by Anne

Let's seee, decisions decisions.

Do I take the time to blog about the Sabres most recent painful swift-kick-in-the-face loss on home ice or maybe even the totally awesome 6-1 Kings win over the Coyotes? It was a nifty game and I thought Greener scored again but Kopitar tipped it (that's fine by me, Kopi!). Maybe I should write about the Canucks losing an exciting one to the Oilers.

No, dear ones, I choose option #4:

Brunch

Yes hockey, on a sunny Sunday in April, I choose breakfast over you. I'm sorry its had to come to this. I'm confident I will be back later. I'm even wearing my I [heart] Buffalo Hockey sweatshirt. We all know where my true allegiance lies.

That Wasn't Fun

by Anne

Ok, this isn't fun anymore.

I was afraid this would happen.

When the Ducks scored on their first shot on net, everyone in Buffalo curled up in the fetal position and started repeatedly stabbing their Scott Gomez voodoo dolls in the left lower high ankle.

There are precious few things I hate more than giving up short-handed goals and we've now done it in two of the last three games.

Jaro was a -3?!

Whatever. I feel like I need to take another shower and get the stench of that game off of me.

On top of the grossness of the game there's this weird dude who works at a stand near me and decided to uncomfortably talk to me ALL NIGHT. Not just like making small talk, I mean saying weird things to me about how I'm doing my job as I'm walking past, clearly in a hurry. And he was a little creepy and had ginormous holes in his earlobes I have no idea who this dude is or if he's worked there all season and just decided tonight was the night to try and make a move. This is almost as bad as the guy who rammed a garbage tote into my hip and then started asking me how I was doing that night. What? Where's that dude who offered to fly me to Nova Scotia when I need him?

BUT. The highlight of the evening!

During the second period, an announcement roughly like this one came over the PA system throughout the Arena:

"Michael Callahan please report to the security desk, your wife has gone into labor."

HA!

The Canucks were shut out by the Habs so they got two more points. But, on the positive side of things, both the Panthers and the Hurricanes lost in regulation tonight. Thanks Ottawa and Boston!

Also, I got home in time to see the Kings win in the shoot out! However, because the Ducks won tonight over whatever team they were playing, the Kings still remain four points out of eighth place. Boo.

I passed a random Duck warming up tonight and I just looked at their roster and I still have no idea who it was. It might've been Bobby Ryan? Maybe Sheldon Brookbank? Maybe just a random dude in under armour doing some windsprints?

I miss you.
I hope that you come back before the next home game so I won't run the risk of passing you downstairs and crying a little at your Stormtrooper boot

Total Disbelief

by Anne

This game replaces that Caps game as worst game of the season.

Sabres lose 3-1 to the Sens, but it felt like 10-1.

Thomas Vanek is not this entire team.

Other players are allowed to score on the power play.

What was with those lines?

God help us all against San Jose on Friday.

I Just Didn't Want To Say It

by Anne

Ryan said it. Kate said it. I don't like to be an "I THOUGHT IT FIRST!" person (because I wasn't the first person who thought of it, I'm sure) but the last home game before Thanksgiving as I was walking out of the Arena, I seriously wondered if this might spell the end of Lindy's tenure as coach. I ignored it because I chalked it up to frustration but...

Something's gotta give.

We in Buffalo are too sentimental. We need to have more of a "We want to win NOW." mentality. Right now we have a "We might win if we wait long enough." mentality.

Nothing in the NHL is permanent. We've had a great run, but this crap isn't cutting it. The signs have been there for a while, players not responding and The System failing over and over and over again.

:(

I want to keep Lindy.

I want to win the Stanley Cup more.

Will we win it this season? No. But if we make the right changes we might next year.

Frankly, I'm tired of "next year".

I want "this year".

Peter Laviolette is free and he beat us on the way to Lord Stanley's Cup.

This really makes me sad. I have way too much to do to sit here and contemplate the fate of our head coach and our season.

DRUNK BLOGGING IS A BAD IDEA

by Anne

SO OK I'M DRUNK. I shouldn't be blogging but WHHOOPS, here I go.

THat game sucked. We were winning 2-1 AND THEN SOMEHOW LOST 5-2 TO THE PENS. Pommer and Vans were all like "Woo! I'm gonna score and it'll be sweet." AND IT WAS until the 3rd.

FOUR GOALS IN ONE PERIOD. FOUR? FOUR?!?!?!?

I needed to ease the pain so I downed my usual G&Ts at Coulter Bay and Fat Bob's: Now with fewer bloggers!

Fortunately the night out was fun even if that game sucked donkey business. Some weird dude was creeping up on us while we were at Fat Bob's and some dude was dancing way too much for Fat Bob's atmosphere but our slowly disintegrating plaster pig friend was there so it was all good.

I just hate this team right now. Hate. Them. I really hate hockey right now. Death to hockey. Painful awful practices and bag skates and all sorts of awful drills for them all in the coming days. Except for Patches. He didn't play in either of these games. He and I can drink heavily while the others skate.

I don't even have the energy ot search for pictures of Adam Mair making funny faces. I hate them all and I want them all to regret the days they were drafted during the next few practices, LINDY. DON'T THROW THIS ONE IN THE GARBAGE. THERE'S NO MORE ROOM. I'd like to throw them all in the garbage.

How in the name of all that is good are we supposed to think we can compete in this league if we have collapses like that? Guess what? We can't. Teams that do well, that succeed, that compete for the Cup don't play the way the Sabres have played these last few games. Abyssmal. Just awful.

I know this is the gin talking but games like this one where we were playing SO WELL and hten just FELL APART make me wish I wasn't so friggin emotionally invested in this group of losers and ne'erdowells.

As a fan these last 2 games have insulted me. I feel insulted by the Sabres. I know they don't WANT to lose, but this crap just isn't cutting it.

Now we have three whole days to ruminate about the next debacle: Sabres @ Bruins on Wednesday.

I'm sure by then I'll have sobered up and might actually watch the game, but then again, in the clear non-gin filtered light of day I might still hate them.

I'm drunk.

Love,
Anne

OMG Heart Attack

by Anne

I just realized that this might be (read: definitely is) the last night of the 2007-2008 hockey season. This most dreaded of all times comes every season, yet every season it catches we hockey fans by total shock and surprise.

What in God's name do we do when there's no hockey? I imagine not update this thing as often.

Play a lot of stupid computer games? Go for lengthy walks? Talk to the friends and family that don't watch hockey, whom we neglect during the season? Do things other than watch sporting events on TV?

I should've waited to move until AFTER hockey season, that way it would've given me something to think about.

Oscar is utterly devastated by the impending death of the 2008 playoffs.

He can't even lift his head

I just don't know what to do...

The Tampa Bay Rays beat the White Sox again. Still #1 in the AL... only behind the Cubs for the top record in Major League Baseball.

Still don't really care that much.

I moved on Saturday. I don't think Oscar has sat down longer than 3 minutes the entire time we've been here. There's just so much to explore. He makes me nervous because when things are new he doesn't eat on a regular basis. He'll eat when he's hungry, I know. Lord knows he won't starve. Haha. He's never been in a house where there are windows on the street and he's totally fascinated/kind of freaked out by cars when they drive by. He doesn't deal well with noises. He climbed up the screen on our screen door. That was pretty entertaining. Other than that, he's pretty chill. He did pass out next to me last night as I was writing this, so I suppose that's a good sign.

I suppose I'll have to go with the original plan of obsessively following signings, non-signings, trades and drafts by Ye Olde Buffaloe Sabrese this summer. Boo.

I suppose I could organize my belongings into their new homes. Although, it won't take me THAT long to figure out where to hang my standings tracker or if I should put my bookshelf or my chest of drawers next to the window.

Boooooooo. The end of the playoffs STINKS. Ok, well, it only STINKS if the team you're rooting for is losing. Last season I temporarily fell in love with the Ducks, but that fling was shortlived as the only reason I was cheering for them was because they were playing the Senators, and, I was really cheering AGAINST the Senators more than I was cheering FOR the Ducks. Sigh.

Worst Feeling Ever

by Anne

So some might say the worst feeling ever is losing a game, or losing a Championship, but I experienced one of the worst feelings a hockey fan can ever face last night.

I thought there was a game.... and there wasn't.

Short of a team relocating or the loss of a player (RIP Luc Bourdon), that's the worst feeling ever. No hockey. I was so sad.

I slept roughly 3 hours Thursday night and rolled my behind out of bed at about 7 am to drive to my sister's high school where she was taking her students to Darien Lake (amusement park for those non WNYers) for a music festival. It was a lot of fun, but after a very long day walking around a park in flip flops (moron) I was extreeeeemely tired. I went home, my sister and her boyfriend and I ordered some La Nova pizza and I was all set to watch the game when Cory (sister's boyfriend) said "There's no game tonight. It's tomorrow." I wanted to curl up into a ball. I was so sad. All I was thinking about the whole drive home when I was trying to not fall asleep on the highway was cheering on my team of playoff boyfriends, and here I was with nothing but Jack Sparrow's pirate-y embrace.

I suppose you could interpret that as being like watching the Pittsburgh Pirates.... and they play in the same city as the Pittsburgh Penguins.... so it was kind of like watching the game....? There might've been a bird with red wings...? Ok, I'll admit, that's kind of a stretch, even for me.

So Game 4 is tonight. Sad sad sad. Hopefully the Penguins knew about the schedule and they weren't as confused as I was.

I hope by now most of you have seen this, but, if not, enjoy.
If you didn't already love Maxime Talbot, this will help get you on track.
ARMY!! :(