New Couple Alert

by Anne

Ryan Miller. What is wrong with you. Rick DiPietro wants to hug you.


ACCEPT THE RICKY LOVE.


ACCEPT IT.

That's better.

I hope the two are very happy together. What beautifully dark featured goaltendering babies they will have. Think they'll ask the Martys (Biron and Brodeur) to be co-godfathers? I am TOTES available for babysitting and wedding planning needs, boys. CALL ME. I'M AVAILABLE TO PLAN YOUR SPECIAL DAY.

Haha

by Anne

Thanks to Amy at Shots off the Crossbar for pointing out the Getty Images gallery of the event held at the NHL Store in Manhattan yesterday featuring our very own Ryan Miller.

A few choice snapshots:

Ricky and Millsey discussing their disappointment over the season premiere of Gossip Girl
Ricky trying to explain that James is really Marcus and he's really British and not American.

Wow. That guy over Millsey's shoulder is the happiest looking person this picture and he looks more skeptical than happy.

What is wrong with that girl? Unless PKane is repeatedly kicking the back of her seat and repeatedly demanding that someone buys him pretzel bites with that nacho cheese sauce because he spent his entire contract on comic books and porn, how could anyone look that unhappy when in such close proximity to Rick DiPietro? More importantly, how can any female that close to Rick DiPietro refstrain herself from touching him in ways most would deem inappropriate for the public arena? Granted she may be forced to restrain herself because PKane is there, and can't handle such displays. THIS may be why this lady looks so displeased. It is truly the only logical explanation for such a sour puss

With the exception of 1 shot where the two of them are alone, and one where they're talking to kids, Ricky and Millsey didn't smile at all in these pictures. Too much partying the night before? Did someone just tell you that you'd be missing that nights episode of Project Runway?

So many questions, so few answers. I have to go to class now. Boooooooo. Check ya later.

Boo-Ya. Someone's Employed. I Hate Mats Sundin.

by Anne

So its officially official, I must've passed my drug test.... seeing as how I haven't snorted coke, smoked up or shot myself up with various substances since.... never, I was pretty confident I'd pass. Ok the smoking thing isn't true, I have done that before. In college of course. WHAT A REBEL. But I digress, I was officially hired to work at DNC (ETA: DNC does not stand for Democratic National Convention... well, ok, it does, but in this case it does not) Sportservice at HSBC Arena as a food vendor. There's about a 90% chance that its going to suck, but I'll actually get to be in the rink and I may get to actually watch a few seconds of the games. That'll be sweet. Oh yeah, and I work on commission, so buy food from me. Wooooo!

There's an article on NHL.com about a bunch of players who invaded Manhattan to do promo work for the coming season.

One of the more interesting (and hilarious) sites was seeing each player having makeup applied and choosing through various wardrobes for photo shoots with NHL Images.

I bet Derek Roy came with Millsey as a fashion consultant, strictly pro bono. He dresses his fellow NHLers out of the kindness of his tiny little heart.

Soooooooo Martin Brodeur was there but didn't participate in the goalie talk? Interesting. If I were Millsey or Ricky I'd be like "Uhhhh, yeah we're excellent goaltenders and all but uh, Martin Brodeur is sitting over there, maybe we should defer to him... Now we're going to compete in the balloon shaving portion of the day's events."

Maybe its like the student teaching part of being an All-Star goaltender. Now Brodeur just sits back and watches them lead the world as he prepares to play in the final stretch of his career. Will the teacher become the student? Did Ricky and Millsey have new, profound insights on the world of the goaltender? Has Martin Brodeur's world been ROCKED?! I'm gonna go with NO on that one, but I'm sure Millsey and Ricky tried.

---

Dear Mats Sundin,

I straight up hate you. Like, I don't feel bad for your "difficult" decision you have to make, I don't feel bad that you have to warm up for 30 minutes before a game. I don't care that you're uncertain if you can play at your usual level again I DON'T CARE. In case your manager has neglected to inform you, YOU ARE A DOUCHEBAG. MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMN MIND AND STOP BEING SO DAMN FULL OF YOURSELF. THIS IS NOT A DIFFICULT DECISION. CHOOSING AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL IS A MORE DIFFICULT DECISION. JOHN KERRY WAFFLES LESS THAN YOU DO. DECIDE! CHOOSE HOCKEY. PLAY HOCKEY. HOCKEY HOCKEY.

The Canucks, Rangers and Canadiens organizations have got to be royally pissed off. Of course, on paper, to the media pre-Sundin's decision they'll talk about how they understand his dilemma and such a storied NHL veteran deserves the time he needs to make the best decision for himself. But you know the second he puts pen to paper or retires, the other teams will be lashing out at him like the scorned ladies he lead on for months and then took Julie to the prom instead. He's left them all hanging, and for what? To dick around for the summer and not decide anything? Now he's not even sure if he'll decide before the season starts! He wants to pull a Niedermayer/Selanne. GARY BETTMAN, DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS. I don't mean about Mats Sundin, because with my current level of annoyance with him, I'd just as soon cover him in honey and tie him to an anthill, but about this "retirement" thing. Don't let players un-retire after, say November. If it causes some players to retire early then SO BE IT. They can un-retire later if they really want to.

And on the "WAH WAH WAH I HAVE TO WARM UP FOR A LONG TIME" front, Mario Lemieux (who is the vastly superior hockey player) had so much back pain at the end of this career that someone else had to tie his skates for him, but HE STILL FREAKIN' PLAYED. Did he un-retire for the right reasons? Who cares, he still played and with his crappy team he helped bring Sid the Kid to Pittsburgh. He helped keep the Pens in Pittsburgh and helped keep fan interest and it has paid of TENFOLD in the last 2 years. When Mario retired, he retired, when he played, he played. END OF STORY.

MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

I think as punishment, Mats Sundin should be forced to play for the Thrashers.

I have never liked Mats Sundin as he as played the majority of his career with our division rivals, but now I flat out hate him. Joe Sakic made up his mind in plenty of time for training camp. He's a CAPTAIN and he acts like one. You, Mr. Sundin are a great big bald Swedish baby. How could you possibly not know if you can play? Talk to a therapist and a trainer. What else is there to figure out? Are you like the 4th grader who's unsure about transferring to a new school? Well just have Mom buy you that shiny new Camp Rock pencil box and you'll be the talk of the town! Everyone will want to be your friend. CASE CLOSED.

Please choose Vancouver so you'll be far away BUT DON'T YOU CORRUPT MY BIG BEAR. I DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS WITH HIM IN 15 YEARS.

I'm not sure who this is, but I love them

Screw you,
Anne

Ryan Miller: Masked Man of Mystery and Q&As

by Anne

As soon as I saw the headline on NHL.com "NHL Store to Host Goalie Q&A" I knew Ryan Miller was involved.

This off season he's become the champion for the little guy, the oft-neglected, oft-ridiculed member of the team: the goaltender and his only friend in the world: his goaltending equipment.

He should really tag another cause onto his campaigning for goaltender equality. Perhaps he can make saves and pokechecks on a platform of educational reform? Paul Gaustad already beats people up on the platform of saving the world one blink at a time. Maybe, like a 4th grade class project, each player should name a cause or charity for which they play and they must announce their cause to the team at practices accompanied by a colorful poster. I think TimmyHO has already claimed fighting for a better tomorrow for the 18 year old blondes of Western New York by providing them a safe haven in his pants, no poster necessary, thanks, Timmy. Derek Roy will undoubtedly fight for a man's right to choose to wear a fauxhawk without ridicule. Does anyone else get the feeling that Drew Stafford probably hates Derek Roy and his too carefully styled hair, furry hooded coat and presumably popped collars?

Also, why does Rick DiPietro get to be a "goalie" but Ryan Miller is a "masked man"? Granted, "masked man" makes Millsey sound WAAAAYYY cooler than Ricky, which he IS.

Seeing as how these two are (most likely) the front runners to backstop Team USA at the 2010 Olympics I vote there should be an epic battle to determine the man in the top spot during this Q&A session. I don't mean a battle of hockey skills. I mean a decathalon of thumb wrestling, competitive pie eating, pictionary, hopscotch, chinese checkers, a dizzy bat basketball throwing contest, potato sack races, baloon shaving, a "who can fill a bucket with water from a swimming pool by wringing out a sponge repeatedly" race, and a spoon/egg race. In the event of a tie there will be a best 2 out of 3 rock, paper, scissors battle.

This is also how I feel we should choose our next Captain and the next President.

Woooo its really nice out in Buffalo today. I'm probably going to read outside.

There is no hockey to watch tonight, ACK!

by Anne

Here's a question: Does ANY team really HATE the Buffalo Sabres?

I mean, honestly, most teams that we hate don't feel that strongly about us. Apparently, Carolina hates us, according to a broadcast heard by Matt at Life is like a Bowl of Porkchops, but I don't really see why. They eliminated us in 2006.

I think there's some mutual dislike between the Senators and the Sabres post-lockout, but I believe their rivalry with the Leafs is more prevalent for their fans as they're in the same province. Honestly, every team in the League...ok well maybe not every team, but most teams that have been around for almost 40 years, have that 1 rivalry in which they mutually hate each other's guts. I'm thinking the closest one we have this season is the Flyers or the Rangers, but I'd say Flyers and Penguins, once again because they're in the same state and/or province, is a much more heated rivalry. I mean, yes, we're 1 of 3 teams in New York State, but the Islanders, Rangers and Devils are much closer geographically and I think most people forget we're not in Ontario too because HSBC Arena is within spitting distance of Canada. Not that I'd spit on Canada, I like Canada and Canadians, except for that one douche bag who I met on Allen St. a few months ago who called me fat because he thought I was insulting Canada, but I was talking about how the Canadian national anthem is easier to sing than the American.... translation: Clearly, I think Canada should be blown up. That's what he heard anyway. Oh, and except for those morons who go to the outlet mall in Niagara Falls, buy tons of stuff and then leave all their empty packages and discarded tags and wrappings in the parking lot. I don't like those Canadians, but they don't represent you all. Besides, 1/2 our team is Canadian... and Canada has universal health care... and hockey comes from Canada.

I just Googled "I hate the Buffalo Sabres". The closest thing I got to actual hate for the team is 1 Leafs fan was mad about Saturday's game. And someone who posted that they didn't like the Sabres on a Newsies' discussion board in June of 2006. Without the quotation marks, you get 1 Senators fan who doesn't like Sabres fans, but doesn't hate the team. Wow, we're like the Switzerland of the NHL. No one really cares about us. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I mean, people SHOULD be indifferent about teams like the Nashville Predators or the Columbus Blue Jackets or the Florida Panthers but I thought Buffalo would draw a little more attention being that we were the boss of (almost) everybody last year.

Ok, here we go: "I hate the Sabres" brings us Gus Katsaros who hated the team a year ago because we were so good, and he's a Leafs' fan. Ok, the next several are Heather B. and other frustrated Sabres fans. Yeah, apparently the odd Leafs fan or Senators fan hates us, but that's about it. Who knew we were so palatable by the reast of the League?

I'll close this post with another picture show, because I really like them.

Anne's NHL Divisional Boyfriends

2007-2008 Edition

Enjoy:

Western Conference

Pacific Division

Ryan Getzlaf

I'm sorry, but after finding this photo:



J.S. Giguere is my new Pacific Division boyfriend....I hope his wife is ok with that...

Central Division

Jay McKee (um, duh?)

Northwest Division

Jarome Iginla

There's really no reason for this, I just like the guy. I don't really follow the Flames, but he's the kind of team captain I like: scores goals, gives entertaining interviews, has a great smile and drops the gloves as needed.

Eastern Conference

South East

Ilya Kovalchuk

HA! No, seriously read back to the last post, its Vinny.

Atlantic Dvision

This was a TOUGH call. I cannot lie.

After MUCH debate and deliberation, I hand the Atlantic Division of my heart to:

Pretty Ricky.

North East Division

At first, I thought I'd never be able to choose just one North East Division boyfriend. I mean, do I choose a Sabre, just because it seems right? But how could I choose? Do I give the nod to Chris "Slumpy" Higgins, just because I think he's hot? That's more or less why I gave the nod to Rick DiPietro. That Marc Savard is kind of adorable... Patrick Eaves is now in the South East... It seemed an insurmountable task But, wait! How could I forget? What single man (no, its not Sabretooth) has been there through it all? Hahahahaha, foolish, foolish girl:

Lindy Ruff

Lastly, according to Google Analytics, someone found our blog by searching for:

"cca652debbbaa20c2c5a0d6ce7415e425f42f79360922ac785f39d3e3824647e14919543bdc37e2ae6498eb637a964394bc8cebfd82f30ea7d1804b486db2aa7"

Well, welcome aboard, 1 random person on March 10th.

Our All-Star picks

By S(h)ara and Anne

(but typed by Anne)

Sabretooth's House is pleased to bring you the result of hours of debate and investigation on our own All-Star roster. We've scoured the Eastern Conference, plodded our way through the West. Examining roster photo after roster photo, delving deeper into our investigation so ascertain the most important questions of them all:

Which players would be selected on teams of All-Star Hottness?

S(h)ara and Anne began their tireless search to answer this question that has plagued both woman and man kind since the beginning of the 2007-2008 season. After hours of pouring over photos and searching out evidence to make our case, we feel we have put together 2 rosters that exude a level of sexiness and lovability that surpasses the rest of the players in the NHL.

Stats and skills? Psh, we disregard those here. True, some of these men have both stolen our hearts and some scoring titles along the way, but that is serendipity and nothing more. We've been forced to look away from favorites who are, shall we say, less than aesthetically pleasing in favor of the pure raw, animal sexiness of their teammates.

Here we are pleased to bring you the Starting Line-ups in the East and West teams of Hottness:


The Honor of Hottest Left Winger in the East goes to:

Mr. Chrisopher Higgins of the Montreal Canadiens

Chris Higgins teaches children about computers

Then shows off his badass tattoo and killer quads in the weight room

The honor of sexiest Center in the Eastern Conference goes to:

One Mr. Vincent Lecavalier of the Tampa Bay Lighting:

Enjoy your time on the Throne, King Vinny

Close your eyes, open your arms, and I'll give you biiiiiig hug

Filling out the line as Hottest Right Winger in the Eastern Conference is:

Patrick Eaves of the Ottawa Senators

Yes Patrick, you made the right choice in turning pro, that way you could be on this All-Star Roster

The quirky cuteness of this photo went a long way toward your selection

On to the blue liners.

We are VERY excited to announce that one of our own:

Mr. Nathan "Ol' Blue Eyes" Paestch was selected as one of our Defensemen:

Oh Patches, you're just so darn cute!

I mean, come on! Can you resist?

Boy even has a cute roster photo

Finally, covering the blue line with Mr. Paetsch is:

Mr. Ivan Baranka

What's that you say? He plays for Hartford? He's not in the NHL?"

That's right. 1 game still counts.

Don't fight it, just enjoy

Finally, the sexiest netminder in the East (and, in Anne's opinion, the entire NHL, nay the entire world) is:

Mr. Ricky DiPietro

Even this crappy cell phone style photo can't hide the sexy

You sign that long term contract, Ricky

Here's Ricky composing a handwritten sonnet for Anne, how sweet

Phew. That was quite the endeavor. We have to do some honorable mentions. Those who came this close, but one of those boys just beat them out.

We have:

Zach "Staffy's BFFL" Parise


Buffalo's favorite bird: Paul "Goose" Gaustad

There were others, but there is a plethora of hot forwards in the Eastern Conference.

Onto the West

The hottest Left Winger in the West was a contested battle, but in the end the winner is:

Former Buffalo Sabre: Taylor Pyatt, now of the Vancouver Canucks

Admire the sexy badassedness as TayPie beats the snot out of a Blackhawk

TayPie is economical and gives his teammates a ride home

I didn't crop this photo because I want everyone to see that that is TimmyHo with hair in the passenger seat.

Moving down the line. Hottest Center in the West is:

Mr. Joseph Thornton of the San Jose Sharks

This selection was heavily debated as it was finally established that just because Anne loves Ryan Getzlaf an inordinate amount and he's funny does not make him hotter than Joey and she was forced to concede.

Smile pretty, Thorns!

Thorns doesn't just listen, he LISTENS.

Can many men wear a possibly baby blue grey sweatshirt? Thorns can

Covering the Right Wing for the West is:

Martin Havlat of the Chicago Blackhawks
(One must look past his roster photo to fully appreciate)

Marty really likes the team's new jerseys

Even in the off-season, Marty sexes it up with his athleticism

And, one of our beloved Easterners is now a Westerner and makes this roster as a hot D-man:

Sheldon Souray of the Edmonton Oilers


The pink shirt, the bedroom eyes... le swoon


Supermodel? Soap Star? Sheldon Souray

His partner in defensive sexiness is:

Ryan Caldwell of the Phoenix Coyotes

(Ok, much like Ivan Baranka, Caldy actually plays in the AHL with Syracuse, but he's played 2 NHL games, twice as many as Baranka)


Hee! Look at the smile. He looks like Anne's friend Jack. That's probably why we think he's cute

Here's little Ryan when he was in college, giving a jersey to the commander in chief

And finally, between the pipes we have:

Thomas Greiss of the San Jose Sharks

He was even a shark in Germany! Fate
(Kölner Haie means Cologne Sharks)

German, Canadian, American - all that matters is if yous is hot

Honorable Mentions:

(Anne's personal favorite)
Ryan Getzlaf


Getzy carries the cup through London


Eric "Yes I used to be an Islander" Godard of the Calgary Flames

That's all folks. This took way too long. But Anne would give her left leg to see these teams play each other. S(h)ara would give a limb as well. Sigh.