Monday WTF

by Anne

Ok, look Buffalo, it SNOWS, get over it and drive like NORMAL PEOPLE DRIVE WITH OUT THE SWERVING AND THE PANIC AND THE CARRYING ON LIKE THE APOCALYPSE IS NIGH.

It took me friggin' forever to get to the Arena tonight. I'm supposed to punch in by 5:30 and be on the councourse peddlin' my wares by 6:00. I walked into the Arena at 5:55. And I left a few minutes earlier than normal. Downtown Buffalo was a madhouse. It's like we've never seen snow before.

Then, to make matters worse, most of the Sabres were also stuck in traffic and didn't show up for the game.

Hey, looky there, Martin Brodeur got himself a record-tying shutout. Good thing most of the Sabres weren't there to see it.

So, the Kings played tonight as well. They hosted Jarome Iginla and the Flames. The last time they played the Flames, Iggy had a hat trick and they lost 5-2. Ouch. However, this time, things were different.

The Kings welcomed Rob Scuderi back from his ankle sprain with a 2-1 victory. Hooray! Davis Drewiske sat this one out, so Greener was paired with OD to start the night. By the end of the night things were quite jumbled, but I've always enjoyed the idea of a Greener-Sean O'Donnell pairing. I expected Greener and OD to play in the usual 16-17 Greener time zone, but OD played 23:04 and Greener played 21:41. More than usual ice time for both. Well done, boys. I'm not sure I'd want to skate in between those two. OD is 6'4" 237 lbs, and Greener is 6'3" and also 237lbs. Ouch. Greener was out on the ice against Iggy a number of times and it seemed effective. Iggy was a -1 but managed 4 SOG and 0 points on the night.

Jonathan Quick made 26 saves, Scott Parse and Jarret Stoll scored for the Kings. The defense was solid tonight as several players including Rob Scuderi and Brad Richardfail bailed Quickie out on a few messy rebounds.

I won't even bother looking up Sabres photos considering none of them played tonight. Although Lindy did mention making up for some kind of lack of work after the game. I'm guessing those players that were stuck out in snow banks finally made it for the after-game practice. Oh well, wonder what happened to them?

Also, I love Wayne Simmonds. Just putting it out there.

It's ok Greener, someone will high-five you, right Dewey?

Team Canada is more interesting than Team USA

by Anne

Clearly I am an American citizen, having been born in New York State. Therefore I will be cheering for Team USA come Olympics time.

Yet, Team Canada boasts so many more players that I hold near and dear to my heart.

Sure Team USA has Miller, Kesler.... uhhhh and... ummmm David Backes? But Team Canada boasts such beloved favorites as Jarome Iginla, Rick Nash and Jordan Staal.

Must. Look. Less. Doofy. Than. Brothers.


The man can do no wrong


Nooo, please don't become a mountain man again, Nasher!
I'll adore you regardless but, pleeeeease?

If the sight of Derek Roy's photo didn't make me dry-heave, I might have posted it. However, as I cannot bear to subject you all to the grotesque eye-roll inducing portrait, I will leave it out.

There are, however, three portraits that cannot go un-ridiculed noted:

Dan Boyle will defeat the enemy with his Stink-Eye of Death


Tazer is only allowed out of the bell-tower to play hockey and stare uncomfortably at his opponents.


Vinny looks like he's about to puke and topple head-first into the camera
It suits him...?


A mutiny a-brewin', Lindy?


Marty St. Louis is horrified. Simply horrified.
He's just seen who his linemates are...


And its not these guys. They're Sid's wingmen
I love it.


What are the odds they're speaking English?


Adorable.

Proof that Marc and Jordan don't like Eric:


Jordan chills while a trainer... does something with Marc's ankles


Jordan: I'm gonna break Eric's stick
Marc: Ok, just make sure its really his and not mine this time, bro.
Nope, there are no photos of Eric with either of his baby bros. He must be a jerk.

That concludes my foray into the enemy's orientation camp. Not surprisingly, Team USA's stuff is not as interesting.

I See You've Finally Come Around

by Anne

NOW can we all accept that the Sabres are a genuinely bad hockey team that is not going to make the playoffs?

Life is so much simpler this way. I've been content for days, dear ones. Join me, won't you?

Just over five weeks away!

Congrats to Marty Brodeur for win #552. Quite an accomplishment, sir. Maybe only slightly more impressive than your stat as the only NHL goaltender to score a game winning goal. That is pretty darn awesome.

Also, since Mr. Brodeur beat the Blackhawks, the Canucks were able to move into a tie for fourth place in the West!

The Canucks won again on home ice! They beat Dallas 4-2 for their 10th consecutive win on home ice which sets a new record for the team. Psh, NHL.com doesn't seem to care about THAT record being broken, MARTY.

Kesler, Sundin, D. Sedin and BIG BEAR scored, but not in that order. Hooray!!

Ales Kotalik scored the game winning shoot out goal tonight! Too bad he plays for the Edmonton Oilers now.

Fundamentals time:
The game is best played with sticks on the ice


Is it possible for Danny Paille to have any other facial expression?
I hope not.

Good night.

THE PROOF IS IN THE PUDDING AND BY PUDDING I MEAN MARTIN BRODEUR'S HAIR

by Anne

Ok so yesterday I jokingly said that Roysie came along with Millsey to NYC to help style the boys for their media blitz in Manhattan. QUITE UNEXPECTEDLY, I have unearthed proof that it MIGHT NOT be a joke. This picture was found in a lost and discarded corner of the world.... the NHL Insider article on NHL.com.

Check out Marty's hair:

That is a CLASSIC Derek Roy fauxhawk if I have ever seen one.
AND. I. HAVE.

COMPARE THE TWO IF YOU WILL:

PUDDING, MEET PROOF.

Why else would a self-respecting man of Martin Brodeur's age and Vezina winning status be wearing such a ludicrous hairstyle. This style is meant for 16 year olds and men who want to look taller... er, um, I mean more RAAWKING, not that they're short. Not that its a BAD thing to be short. Aw hell.

On the plus side, at least Marty didn't rock this Classic Roysie style:

CAN YOU HANDLE THE HOT?
You just want to run your fingers through it

OR Classic Pommer:

Let's face it, Little Amerk Roysie was afraid Pommer might be the prettiest one on the team so he made him believe this was the hairstyle that would get him all the laydeez

OR He could've gone with my new personal favorite:

Retro Vanek
Complete with birthday cake elephant decorations

EPIC.

Boo-Ya. Someone's Employed. I Hate Mats Sundin.

by Anne

So its officially official, I must've passed my drug test.... seeing as how I haven't snorted coke, smoked up or shot myself up with various substances since.... never, I was pretty confident I'd pass. Ok the smoking thing isn't true, I have done that before. In college of course. WHAT A REBEL. But I digress, I was officially hired to work at DNC (ETA: DNC does not stand for Democratic National Convention... well, ok, it does, but in this case it does not) Sportservice at HSBC Arena as a food vendor. There's about a 90% chance that its going to suck, but I'll actually get to be in the rink and I may get to actually watch a few seconds of the games. That'll be sweet. Oh yeah, and I work on commission, so buy food from me. Wooooo!

There's an article on NHL.com about a bunch of players who invaded Manhattan to do promo work for the coming season.

One of the more interesting (and hilarious) sites was seeing each player having makeup applied and choosing through various wardrobes for photo shoots with NHL Images.

I bet Derek Roy came with Millsey as a fashion consultant, strictly pro bono. He dresses his fellow NHLers out of the kindness of his tiny little heart.

Soooooooo Martin Brodeur was there but didn't participate in the goalie talk? Interesting. If I were Millsey or Ricky I'd be like "Uhhhh, yeah we're excellent goaltenders and all but uh, Martin Brodeur is sitting over there, maybe we should defer to him... Now we're going to compete in the balloon shaving portion of the day's events."

Maybe its like the student teaching part of being an All-Star goaltender. Now Brodeur just sits back and watches them lead the world as he prepares to play in the final stretch of his career. Will the teacher become the student? Did Ricky and Millsey have new, profound insights on the world of the goaltender? Has Martin Brodeur's world been ROCKED?! I'm gonna go with NO on that one, but I'm sure Millsey and Ricky tried.

---

Dear Mats Sundin,

I straight up hate you. Like, I don't feel bad for your "difficult" decision you have to make, I don't feel bad that you have to warm up for 30 minutes before a game. I don't care that you're uncertain if you can play at your usual level again I DON'T CARE. In case your manager has neglected to inform you, YOU ARE A DOUCHEBAG. MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMN MIND AND STOP BEING SO DAMN FULL OF YOURSELF. THIS IS NOT A DIFFICULT DECISION. CHOOSING AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL IS A MORE DIFFICULT DECISION. JOHN KERRY WAFFLES LESS THAN YOU DO. DECIDE! CHOOSE HOCKEY. PLAY HOCKEY. HOCKEY HOCKEY.

The Canucks, Rangers and Canadiens organizations have got to be royally pissed off. Of course, on paper, to the media pre-Sundin's decision they'll talk about how they understand his dilemma and such a storied NHL veteran deserves the time he needs to make the best decision for himself. But you know the second he puts pen to paper or retires, the other teams will be lashing out at him like the scorned ladies he lead on for months and then took Julie to the prom instead. He's left them all hanging, and for what? To dick around for the summer and not decide anything? Now he's not even sure if he'll decide before the season starts! He wants to pull a Niedermayer/Selanne. GARY BETTMAN, DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS. I don't mean about Mats Sundin, because with my current level of annoyance with him, I'd just as soon cover him in honey and tie him to an anthill, but about this "retirement" thing. Don't let players un-retire after, say November. If it causes some players to retire early then SO BE IT. They can un-retire later if they really want to.

And on the "WAH WAH WAH I HAVE TO WARM UP FOR A LONG TIME" front, Mario Lemieux (who is the vastly superior hockey player) had so much back pain at the end of this career that someone else had to tie his skates for him, but HE STILL FREAKIN' PLAYED. Did he un-retire for the right reasons? Who cares, he still played and with his crappy team he helped bring Sid the Kid to Pittsburgh. He helped keep the Pens in Pittsburgh and helped keep fan interest and it has paid of TENFOLD in the last 2 years. When Mario retired, he retired, when he played, he played. END OF STORY.

MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

I think as punishment, Mats Sundin should be forced to play for the Thrashers.

I have never liked Mats Sundin as he as played the majority of his career with our division rivals, but now I flat out hate him. Joe Sakic made up his mind in plenty of time for training camp. He's a CAPTAIN and he acts like one. You, Mr. Sundin are a great big bald Swedish baby. How could you possibly not know if you can play? Talk to a therapist and a trainer. What else is there to figure out? Are you like the 4th grader who's unsure about transferring to a new school? Well just have Mom buy you that shiny new Camp Rock pencil box and you'll be the talk of the town! Everyone will want to be your friend. CASE CLOSED.

Please choose Vancouver so you'll be far away BUT DON'T YOU CORRUPT MY BIG BEAR. I DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS WITH HIM IN 15 YEARS.

I'm not sure who this is, but I love them

Screw you,
Anne

Bittersweet

by Anne

Half the Game 1s have come and gone with the following results

Sens v. Pens (Pens win 4-0, lead series 1-0)
NYR v. NJD (NYR win 4-1, lead series 1-0)
Avs v. Wild (Avs win 3-2, 1st OT, lead series 1-0)
CGY v. SJS (CGY win 3-2, lead series 1-0)

Interestingly enough, only 1 team won at home last night. This whole "not having home-ice advantage" thing doesn't seem to phase teams in the bottom part of the playoff standings.

Anytick, that was a bee-you-ti-full win last night by the Pittsburgh Penguins. I liked it a lot, we had good chemistry, I'd definitely go out with it again. If it had been a Sabres win, we'd already be on our honeymoon in Cancun.

Sigh, I don't care how many times we all try to say it'll be nice to watch the playoffs without the emotional investment, it's not true. With each goal that the Pens scored, I got a little more into it, but I didn't come within a tenth of how gleeful and elated I would've been to watch those goals being scored by Sabres. Good to see Gary Roberts recovered from his broken leg resulting in a collision with Timmy...I know, right? TimmyHo actually crushed someone and skated away, unharmed. I still can't believe it either. I kind of love Gary Roberts right now, he's pretty old, ha.

Then they had to go and show Mario up in the press box and remind my why I love them. Awwww, Mario. I loves him still.

I hope Ottawa is as embarrassed as they should be. Bryan Murray did NOT look happy about that brawl in the last 11 seconds. That team has been soooo badly mismanaged in the last few months its scary. Their D looks turrrrrrribull.

Congratulations to Marc-Andre Fleury for the first playoff shutout since April 26, 2001...ironically it was when the Sabres were shutout by Johan Hedberg. Whoops.

Congrats also to the Calgary Flames. I watched the first period of that game in my intermittent watching of both that and Top Chef (Zoi's gone, she made underseasoned mushrooms, but Richard left scales on his fish, discuss). It was my first non-Sabres Brian Campbell experience. I really could've done without the commentators on HNIC verbally lovin' up Soupy. They just went on and on about how great he's been for the team and how he and Big Joe are childhood sweethearts and soulmates.

It makes me sad to hear Soupy say bad things about Buffalo. Well, ok, it's not Buffalo, it's Larry Quinn and Darcy Regier, but still, when he and Brownie and Mikey Grier get together and start talking about how Buffalo could've kept them and they're all resentful it makes me sad.

Whatevskis, we don't needs 'em! On the plus, in the 2 games I watched, both the teams I wanted to win, won! Unforch, in the other 2 games the team I wanted to win, lost. Boo. What was UP with Marty mis-handling that puck? It's like he got stuck in a position and for a split second his priority was moving his feet and not moving the puck, he clearly didn't see whatever Ranger snuck up on him and tapped the puck home. Whoops.

I don't really care about the Avs v. Wild but Jose Theodore and Peter Forsberg annoy me. Peter Forsberg downright creeps me out, actually. I like Marian Gaborik for his Superman pose in his roster photo and because they do, indeed, look like elves, and because Minnesotans love their hockey... and their elves.

See?:

Tonight I get to pretend I care about watch Detroit at Nashville at 7:00 and Dallas at Anaheim at 10:00 while Boston plays at Montreal at 7:00 and Calgary plays at San Jose again at 10:00.

wa-hoo!

by Anne

WHA-? WHO? THEY DID WHAT??

HO. LY. SHIT!!!

I had given up and muted the OT 5 minutes, only peeking from my kitchen every once in a while while I ate some dinner. Then I peeked in after each shooter.

I was in total shock.

Hank the muthafuckin' TANK! WOOOOOOP! YAYAYAYAYAY!!!

Lindy whipped out some sweet player trivia tonight: Hank used to be a forward in Sweden. No wonder he's so tank-ass on the shoot out!

Could there really be any other BAMF?

Not ONLY did he blast the puck to the net for Mikey Ryan's goal, he scored on the shoot. out. Not ONLY did he score on the shoot out, he totally made that Saucy Minx look foolish. Brodeur tried to whip out his usual diving poke-check but Hank was TOTES expecting it, slipped the puck to his back hand and flipped it into the empty net. Spot on, Mr. Tallinder, Spot. On. For your skillful shooting, and because Danny Paille says you're always working on your "hands" in practice, here is your prize:

Protect those valuable hands in golden style

2nd place goes to Dave Williams. Who? you might ask? The Sabres' equipment manager, or "Willie" as the players call him. Why? Because 2 of his skates have scored us goals in 2 games. Willie, you keep taking excellent care of that equipment!

Here's a silver bill clip, because you, sir, are MONEY

3rd star goes to Millsey. Apparently Millsey had nothing to eat in his house and had to eat at McDonald's for breakfast! Horror of horrors! Or an excellent plug as the entire back of their bench is covered with golden arches? Wanna spot a Sabre in the next couple days? Hit up some grocery stores and dry cleaners. I wonder if Millsey had any coupons from the Transitowne blimp? Millsey, to commemorate your 99th career win, and in case you ever need to chat, enjoy your new bronze phone:

Millsey, if you need some groceries, gimmie a ring, I'll totally cook for you!

Millsey didn't even know how the 2nd goal was scored until Rayzor told him post-game. (Kalinin is DIZAMN lucky we won tonight) I know I know, he was doing his best, but not good enough!

And an honorable mention to Staffy for getting the first shoot out goal!! Beating Brodeur!! Woo. Too bad Hank totally over shadowed you. But I took note, Staff! P.S. my friend Jen was the model you walked down the catwalk with, woooo!

Pie-YAY skated top line again and moves to a +14 on the season and picks up another point!

the Staffy Roysie Britney line was all -2. Uhhhh, that's ok boys, you'll do better next time, I'm sure.
9th place!