Team Canada is more interesting than Team USA

by Anne

Clearly I am an American citizen, having been born in New York State. Therefore I will be cheering for Team USA come Olympics time.

Yet, Team Canada boasts so many more players that I hold near and dear to my heart.

Sure Team USA has Miller, Kesler.... uhhhh and... ummmm David Backes? But Team Canada boasts such beloved favorites as Jarome Iginla, Rick Nash and Jordan Staal.

Must. Look. Less. Doofy. Than. Brothers.


The man can do no wrong


Nooo, please don't become a mountain man again, Nasher!
I'll adore you regardless but, pleeeeease?

If the sight of Derek Roy's photo didn't make me dry-heave, I might have posted it. However, as I cannot bear to subject you all to the grotesque eye-roll inducing portrait, I will leave it out.

There are, however, three portraits that cannot go un-ridiculed noted:

Dan Boyle will defeat the enemy with his Stink-Eye of Death


Tazer is only allowed out of the bell-tower to play hockey and stare uncomfortably at his opponents.


Vinny looks like he's about to puke and topple head-first into the camera
It suits him...?


A mutiny a-brewin', Lindy?


Marty St. Louis is horrified. Simply horrified.
He's just seen who his linemates are...


And its not these guys. They're Sid's wingmen
I love it.


What are the odds they're speaking English?


Adorable.

Proof that Marc and Jordan don't like Eric:


Jordan chills while a trainer... does something with Marc's ankles


Jordan: I'm gonna break Eric's stick
Marc: Ok, just make sure its really his and not mine this time, bro.
Nope, there are no photos of Eric with either of his baby bros. He must be a jerk.

That concludes my foray into the enemy's orientation camp. Not surprisingly, Team USA's stuff is not as interesting.

And the winner is....

by Anne

In our first Weekly Poll, we asked you which of the Staal brothers was your fave.

The choices (duh) were Eric, Marc, Jordan and Jared.

The boys ranked as follows:

#4 Jared (5%)

I'm not surprised Jared came in 4th out of 4. Why? Because we know almost nothing about him because he's only 17 and not yet in the NHL. Give it time, I'm sure someday he'll be more than 1 persons favorite Staal.

Doesn't he look like Phaneuf in this picture?:

Marc (L) Jared (R)

#3 Eric (11%)

Since this IS a Sabres blog and Eric and his 'Canes gave us our playoff walking papers in the 2006 ECF, I'm not surprised he is not overly beloved by Sabres fans the blogosphere over. I'm actually surprised he got more than 1 vote.

The Staal Brothers <3 pinstripes... because they need to look taller...?

#2 Marc (27%)

My personal favorite underrated Staal. He's pretty sweet. He was the OHL's defenseman of the year last season. Wooo! Ok, I know its tough to love him because he plays for the gross-tastic Rangers. However, he didn't CHOOSE to be a Ranger, they DRAFTED him. I, of course, understand Eric was drafted by the 'Canes, but WHATEVS. Marc is described as the family goofball, and I love me a goofball. I also actually kind of feel bad that his younger brother started in the NHL before he did. But he's still more awesome. Marc's "Girlfriend" page has like absolutely nothing but pictures of him and Jared. He might have a girlfriend named Danielle from Sudbury (or Sudberry as they spelled it), or Casey from Quebec or I don't care from I still love him anyway. The best part is really the people who post things like "WHAT VOODOO MAGIC DO YOU HAVE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO KNOW THIS INFORMATION?!?!" He's also a rockstar.

See?:

#1...by process of elimination Jordan (55%)

Jordan is quite popular amongst Sabres fans, apparently. I would assume most Sabres fans don't really find the Penguins terribly offensive and Jordan has the distinction of being really young and pretty hot. He is my 2nd favorite Penguin...maybe 3rd. Well done, Jordan. You are well-tolerated by the readers of this blog. Maybe its because he's the biggest Staal bro. They're all the same height but Gronk is 15 pounds heavier than each of his NHL playing brothers. Well done? I really would love it if Jordan could find his scoring touch again next season and have more goals than his big bro. He's def going to have more goals than Marc...ok, if he doesn't though, either Marc is playing out of his mind or Jordan has lost his.

Jordan on a lake lookin' super chill

I'd love to know the reasons why people chose the Staal brother they chose, so post 'em.


OMGAH, I'm pretty sure I keeled over and died when I found this picture. Thank God I came back to life in time to finish this post:

Eric Staal: Supreme Smiley Living Room Overlord
Jordan looks like an albino elf and Eric seems to be attempting to crush his head
Marc is his usual chill self
Jared is SO over this picture

Be sure to take this week's poll:

Favorite movie in which the main focus was a hockey team; aka, not Happy Gilmore.

This is totally ridiculous

by Anne

See title of post. I have nothing to say. We all know where I stand. If you're unsure, you need look no further than the previous post or 12 to figure it out.


Enjoy some StaalLove with some interviews from before this season. Aka, Marc hadn't started his NHL career and Jared was probably only 16.


Around the kitchen table:

Mama Staal, what did you put in their Flintstones vitamins in the morning, HGH?

The Staal Brothers Personal Wall O' Fame:

I think Marc's "rusty wheel on the shopping cart" position in the family makes him my favorite Staal. That, and the flowing locks in that picture. Yowzas. WHO NAMED THE DOG CANDY? THAT IS TOTALLY AWESOME AND TOTALLY GIRLY AND I LOVE IT.

Staal Family Backyard Rink:

I tried to figure out which one was which in the home movie clips but unless you had all 4 of them together, it's pretty hard to tell, especially because 1/2 their faces are covered almost all the time.

Just Get a Ruler, Boys:

I enjoy the tactful way they all acknowledge that Marc is not a great shooter. That's why he's the defenseman in the family. Jared should've been a goalie, just to even it all out.

At the Thunder Bay Rink:

Do you only get the white helmets when you with the Stanley Cup? Does Eric have an exceptionally large or small noggin? I enjoy the mid-clip commercial by Eric and Jared. All Jordan contributes is that he has bad taste in music. Marc lets us know that he supports Tim Hortons.

All Hockey Players' 2nd Love:

Wow, EVERYTHING is a competition with these boys. That's probably what got them to where they are today.


Watching all these videos in a row kind of makes Eric seem like a douche. Although, he is the oldest and that superiority thing comes with the territory. In the shootout thing he's very supportive of his littlest brother. Little. Hah. Boy's probably 6'4" like all his brothers.

Marc "Rusty Wheel" Staal has no love for Pat Kaleta:

Take the poll on the upper left. Yes, POLLS. That's how strapped I am. I thought I saw Mike Ryan at Tim Horton's today. I thought wrong. As mentioned above, one of the Staals (I'm pretty sure it's Marc) is drinking Tim Hortons for a split second in that rink video. Its fate. I drink Tim Horton's coffee all the time. I realize he might be drinking something other than coffee, but I don't care.

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Private to the NHL schedule makers:

Bite me.

Love,
Anne

BLAMMO

by Anne

Pens win! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Ry-ry scores!! I'm starting to develop a mad crush on Ry-ry, like to the point where it may jeopardize my emphatic rooting against Pittsburgh when they play Buffalo next season. No, of course I won't be rooting for Pittsburgh, it just won't hurt as much if Ry-ry scores a goal. On a related note, watching the after celebration of Ry-Ry and Geno was almost cute. Sykora had been taken down at the face-off dot and you see them start to cheer and celebrate behind the net and, as is tradition, they look to where Sykora would be coming from for the "WOOO WE SCORED! WOO!" GuyLove hug, but he wasn't, and they saw him laying on the ice and grew instantly concernicus. Awww, good linemates! He was ok, he just seemed a little shaken up.

It was a wonderfully decisive win watched on DVR delay. It was pretty sa-weet.

That Hossa goal was just totally amazing. He really made the Flyers defense look as depleted as it is. Ugh, Buffalonians know what it feels like to lose in the playoffs because of lack of defense. RIP 2006 playoff run. But, whatevs, that Hossa goal was just amazing. Well done, sir, well done, you are perhaps the only deadline day trade that has really impacted your new team's cup chances... except maybe that Huet trade...it benefited Washington, but royally screwed over Montreal. Whoops.

So Pittsburgh and Detroit are going to meet in the Cup Finals, and I'm really afraid that Detroit is going to continue to be the Swedish Monsters they are now and just PWN the Pens. However, the Penguins have actually lost fewer games in these playoffs than the Wings....oooook, Detroit lost 2 and Pittsburgh's lost one. According to those statistics, this should be a really close Final. OOooook, I KNOW, the Flyers and Stars aren't completely out of it yet...buuuuuuut....yeah.

Something I noticed a few weeks ago...in three of the last 4 seasons, the 4th ranked team in the league won the Cup. Who's ranked 4th this season? The Pens. I'm just sayin'.


There were no games in the Worlds on Tuesday as they prep for the Quarterfinals which kick off today with Canada taking on Norway at 3:30 and The USA taking on Finland at 7:15.


OMG, I can't find a DAMN thing Sabres-related to talk about!! GAH! I think I'm developing a twitch. I almost went to Dave and Adam's yesterday to buy something Sabres related but I remembered that I'm broke.

I'm so desperate for material, I went onto those crazy girlfriend forums I've been hearing so much about lately and I got NOTHING. COME ON PEOPLE! Someone must be bangin' a Sabre in the offseason! Someone must've boned Tim Connolly and wants to tell the world their plight! The "juiciest" thing I got about Timmy was that someone thought they saw him at The Gap in The Boulevard Mall. Somehow Tim Connolly buying an overpriced pair of prewrinkled khaki shorts does not make me all a-twitter with gossipy glee.

Another juicy tidbit was someone thought Pominville's name was "Porninville" he he he, ho ho ho. So BAD! Maybe if his reputation for being as slutty was as prominent has his rep for being puckbunny fodder it would be apropos. It seems to me Pommer is more likely to be helping Danny Paille organize his stuffed animal 5K run, than to be having his way with the female population of Buffalo, and now, Halifax and Quebec City...although, I'd totally support him if he decided to. Wait, no, that came out wrong...or did it.....?

This just in from the Girlfriends Forum: Mike Ryan eats babies.

Ugh, the Vanek board is full of nothin' but love for SabreBirtney and his BabyMama and someone who's devastated because her love for Kotalik will never work out. Someone used the word "promiscuous" on Spacek's board, granted she was saying he wasn't, but this kind of acceptable terminology is NOT why I go to those boards. Blah blah blah. Sidebar, I know he's a hockey player and all, but if you saw Jaroslav Spacek oot and aboot at a bar in Buffalo, would you be all up in his bizness? I WOULD. But I can't imagine the rest of the women of Western New York go as weak in the knees when he talks about the "PK" and being "flat-footed". His blunt, take-no-prisoners style of interview is what gets my motor runnin'. That and: SHOOT PUCK SCORE GOAL WIN GAME! YAAAHHHHH!! Jaro makes me giggle like a school girl, always has and always will. There is truly no worldy explanation for my totally baseless love for Sissy Spacek.

Also, someone named "Briana" is running amok in the forums talkin' shizz about bitches or something and she's either 8 or 24. This needs investimigation. I want to find every 8 and 24 year old Briana and round them up for a chat. The 8 year olds get cookies, the 24 year olds get grilled on their alleged sexual liaisons with any number of Buffalo Sabres, unless it's Brian Campbell, then I just really don't want to hear about it.


This is in no way Sabres-related but you can actually hear Geno speak English and seem kind of human. I know, it's weird, right?

Fortunately Sid is nowhere to be found, so my belief that he's a robot continues on.

Uh-oh, this is getting to be a sickness:

Hey! Ry-ry! Come to Buffalo! Wooo! You're a free agent! Eeeeeeeven though he clearly wants to stay in Pittsburgh...bah, whatev. Our love must be realized. Bring your kid! I love babies! Forget your (presumably) totally hot, skinny, blonde wife! Who wouldn't want an out of shape brunette who wears (totally awesome red) glasses?

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Private to Adam Burish:

Update your #$%*@^ing blog. You can make the whole thing about Drew Stafford and Jason Pominville if you like, pepper it with witty anecdotes about Patrick Kane.

Love,
Anne

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Private to Eric, Marc, Jordan and Jared:

I'm sorry about your grandpa. I make excellent cookies if you feel you need some. We can play Scrabble to take your mind off of things if you'd like, I'll totally let you use secret Staal-language words, and back them up in your secret Staal Dictionary. I won't question it.

Love,
Anne