Signing off.... Sort Of

by Anne

My life is about to be fully dedicated to final exams. So until next Friday, my updates will hopefully still be regular, but will mostly be things like:

OMFG I spilled coffee on my laptop today. But, being the "keeping her cool in times of crisis" type of chick that I am, I avoided further damage to my computer by immediately flipping it over so the coffee would not drain into the guts of my computer. All in all, I have to get a new keypad installed, but my computer itself is fine. PHEW! I can still use my laptop by plugging in an external keyboard which I am typing on right now. It is no longer mobile but that's ok.

I increased my sales for like the 5th straight game in a row. I had to lie to a little girl and say we were out of cotton candy because I hid one for S(h)ara. I don't feel so bad about it because that's how I found out the pink cotton candy is kind of cherry flavored. Gross. I hate cotton candy. One bite is all I need for the next year or so.

Whenever I'm at the Arena I see at least 3 or 4 obviously pregnant women. There might be others who are walking the border between "pregnant" and "awkward tummy pooch".

MATT GREENE SCORED AN ASSIST TONIGHT AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER ABOUT IT. It was a pretty bad-ass pass from the defensive zone through the neutral zone that set up Frolov to zoom in on Toskala with 2 Maple Leaf's defencemen lost around him. He got the puck when Matt Stajan turned it over with a pass that went right to Greener. Wooooo!!!

That game between the "Sabres" and the Predators was the single most boring 60 minutes of hockey I've ever witnessed. However, my sales were through the roof. Monday night Western team game does not usually mean big bucks. WHATEVS. That new keypad isn't going to pay for itself.

Aw Greener, don't look at me like that!
I'll be back! I SWEAR!

OK, PEOPLE ONE MORE THING!!!!!!! Ok, by "people" I really mean "girls". Look, I may love a good backchecking defenseman as much as the next dude but I also love men more than the next dude... unless the next dude is my BFF Adam.... he's a gay. S(h)ara and I are planning on writing an All-Stars of Hotness teams post again this year. However, reviewing last years choices, most of them sucked. Frankly, its because we were not well versed enough in other teams hottie boomba lotties outside of their roster photos and we all know roster photos are NOT adequate to measure a players hotness. Therefore, I ask you to come up with a few players from teams OTHER THAN the following because I know these teams well enough:

East:
Buffalo Sabres
New York Rangers
Pittsburgh Penguins

West:
Calgary Flames
Vancouver Canucks
Chicago Blackhawks

Please narrow it down to one or 2 players from each team and provide photo documentation if possible. We shall conduct the voting for positions by conference beginning on December 26. Thanks!! Oh, and please do not try to make a case for unattractive players just because they're good and lovable. I LOVES me some Jaro "Sissy" Spacek, but he ain't making this list.

BLAMMO

by Anne

Pens win! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Ry-ry scores!! I'm starting to develop a mad crush on Ry-ry, like to the point where it may jeopardize my emphatic rooting against Pittsburgh when they play Buffalo next season. No, of course I won't be rooting for Pittsburgh, it just won't hurt as much if Ry-ry scores a goal. On a related note, watching the after celebration of Ry-Ry and Geno was almost cute. Sykora had been taken down at the face-off dot and you see them start to cheer and celebrate behind the net and, as is tradition, they look to where Sykora would be coming from for the "WOOO WE SCORED! WOO!" GuyLove hug, but he wasn't, and they saw him laying on the ice and grew instantly concernicus. Awww, good linemates! He was ok, he just seemed a little shaken up.

It was a wonderfully decisive win watched on DVR delay. It was pretty sa-weet.

That Hossa goal was just totally amazing. He really made the Flyers defense look as depleted as it is. Ugh, Buffalonians know what it feels like to lose in the playoffs because of lack of defense. RIP 2006 playoff run. But, whatevs, that Hossa goal was just amazing. Well done, sir, well done, you are perhaps the only deadline day trade that has really impacted your new team's cup chances... except maybe that Huet trade...it benefited Washington, but royally screwed over Montreal. Whoops.

So Pittsburgh and Detroit are going to meet in the Cup Finals, and I'm really afraid that Detroit is going to continue to be the Swedish Monsters they are now and just PWN the Pens. However, the Penguins have actually lost fewer games in these playoffs than the Wings....oooook, Detroit lost 2 and Pittsburgh's lost one. According to those statistics, this should be a really close Final. OOooook, I KNOW, the Flyers and Stars aren't completely out of it yet...buuuuuuut....yeah.

Something I noticed a few weeks ago...in three of the last 4 seasons, the 4th ranked team in the league won the Cup. Who's ranked 4th this season? The Pens. I'm just sayin'.


There were no games in the Worlds on Tuesday as they prep for the Quarterfinals which kick off today with Canada taking on Norway at 3:30 and The USA taking on Finland at 7:15.


OMG, I can't find a DAMN thing Sabres-related to talk about!! GAH! I think I'm developing a twitch. I almost went to Dave and Adam's yesterday to buy something Sabres related but I remembered that I'm broke.

I'm so desperate for material, I went onto those crazy girlfriend forums I've been hearing so much about lately and I got NOTHING. COME ON PEOPLE! Someone must be bangin' a Sabre in the offseason! Someone must've boned Tim Connolly and wants to tell the world their plight! The "juiciest" thing I got about Timmy was that someone thought they saw him at The Gap in The Boulevard Mall. Somehow Tim Connolly buying an overpriced pair of prewrinkled khaki shorts does not make me all a-twitter with gossipy glee.

Another juicy tidbit was someone thought Pominville's name was "Porninville" he he he, ho ho ho. So BAD! Maybe if his reputation for being as slutty was as prominent has his rep for being puckbunny fodder it would be apropos. It seems to me Pommer is more likely to be helping Danny Paille organize his stuffed animal 5K run, than to be having his way with the female population of Buffalo, and now, Halifax and Quebec City...although, I'd totally support him if he decided to. Wait, no, that came out wrong...or did it.....?

This just in from the Girlfriends Forum: Mike Ryan eats babies.

Ugh, the Vanek board is full of nothin' but love for SabreBirtney and his BabyMama and someone who's devastated because her love for Kotalik will never work out. Someone used the word "promiscuous" on Spacek's board, granted she was saying he wasn't, but this kind of acceptable terminology is NOT why I go to those boards. Blah blah blah. Sidebar, I know he's a hockey player and all, but if you saw Jaroslav Spacek oot and aboot at a bar in Buffalo, would you be all up in his bizness? I WOULD. But I can't imagine the rest of the women of Western New York go as weak in the knees when he talks about the "PK" and being "flat-footed". His blunt, take-no-prisoners style of interview is what gets my motor runnin'. That and: SHOOT PUCK SCORE GOAL WIN GAME! YAAAHHHHH!! Jaro makes me giggle like a school girl, always has and always will. There is truly no worldy explanation for my totally baseless love for Sissy Spacek.

Also, someone named "Briana" is running amok in the forums talkin' shizz about bitches or something and she's either 8 or 24. This needs investimigation. I want to find every 8 and 24 year old Briana and round them up for a chat. The 8 year olds get cookies, the 24 year olds get grilled on their alleged sexual liaisons with any number of Buffalo Sabres, unless it's Brian Campbell, then I just really don't want to hear about it.


This is in no way Sabres-related but you can actually hear Geno speak English and seem kind of human. I know, it's weird, right?

Fortunately Sid is nowhere to be found, so my belief that he's a robot continues on.

Uh-oh, this is getting to be a sickness:

Hey! Ry-ry! Come to Buffalo! Wooo! You're a free agent! Eeeeeeeven though he clearly wants to stay in Pittsburgh...bah, whatev. Our love must be realized. Bring your kid! I love babies! Forget your (presumably) totally hot, skinny, blonde wife! Who wouldn't want an out of shape brunette who wears (totally awesome red) glasses?

---

Private to Adam Burish:

Update your #$%*@^ing blog. You can make the whole thing about Drew Stafford and Jason Pominville if you like, pepper it with witty anecdotes about Patrick Kane.

Love,
Anne

---

Private to Eric, Marc, Jordan and Jared:

I'm sorry about your grandpa. I make excellent cookies if you feel you need some. We can play Scrabble to take your mind off of things if you'd like, I'll totally let you use secret Staal-language words, and back them up in your secret Staal Dictionary. I won't question it.

Love,
Anne

Totally Not Hockey-Related

by Anne

I feel the need to update but I have absolutely nothing hockey-related to say.

The thing that's been on my mind the most is how much I can't stand the girl who sits next to me at work. Let's call her "Bessie". I'm convinced this girl isn't real and she is in fact an elaborate prank to wear on my psyche. Honestly, if I were to describe in detail the things this girl does, it would sound like I was just trying to tell a story and it wasn't all true.

Here are some of her finer points, and this isn't all of her best material either:

Bessie spends at least two hours a day on the phone chatting with friends and family, sometimes she gets into literal screaming matches with them and the entire floor can hear her, yet senior management says nothing.

Bessie once screamed for a 1/2 an hour over the phone to someone named Barbara about how Precious stole her job at the bar

The last day before Christmas she brought her son (aged 11) into work to hand out gifts. When the secretaries on the floor decided to do a wine toast in the conference room, she declared that she only drank top liquor and then gave the glass of wine to her 11-year-old son, in front of everybody. I was not present for this event, but its been described in detail to me twice by 2 different people. Did I mention her son is 11?

She openly discusses how when her sons are really bad she hits them with a belt

Bessie doesn't use the possessive form of words. Instead of saying "Go to Grandma's house," she chooses to say "Go to Grandma house." I find this incredibly annoying and it is now one of S(h)ara's favorite things to shout at me

Bessie once told our boss that, in order to find out something for him, she could call a friend of hers that works for some government office. He's going to tell her because he's always trying to sleep with her. Our boss is a married-with-3-kids-conservative lawyer around the age of 40. I accidentally brushed my hand against his today and still feel uncomfortable about it.

She started working at my office in October and since then, I think she's worked 1, maybe 2 full weeks. She leaves early, on average, twice a week. Last week it was 3 days. Yesterday she left 3 hours early.

She uses the printer at my desk, and is frequently coming into my workspace. When she needs to staple something, she rifles around on my desk until she can find it. My personal space barrier is about 8 feet when it comes to her.

Bessie isn't actually qualified for her job, she always has to ask me questions, and her job by definition means she should know more things than I do.

Bessie has 2 cell phones that are always on and ring frequently, most of the time on vibrate which is still incredibly loud.

She never says goodbye on the phone. I never talk to her on the phone, but I hear her just hang up the phone seeminly in midsentence all the time.

She's ugly.

She listens to 1 radio station that seems to play the same 18 songs on repeat all day. If I hear "Sad and Lonely" by Keyshia Cole one more time, I'm going to scream. Its an annoying song anyway, but try listening to it when its almost too quiet to hear it, but you still hear her repeating the same melody line over and OVER AND OVER.

She hums and sings along to the radio which, to me, is incredibly annoying when anyone does it, let alone at work and when the songs are bad.

She annoys me so much that even the sound of her typing is driving me slowly insane.

I feel better now.