Back to Schoooool

by Anne

Do you think hockey players get excited for the first day of training camp like kids get excited for the first day of school?

Do you think they pick out their outfits the night before? Day before? I'm sure Royzie has been STRESSING about his outfit planning for weeks. Y'all know he's planning his outfits for the next at LEAST three months to avoid the dreaded repeat wearing of a killer outfit.

Does Lindy send out a supply list? Maybe it's Rip's job to make sure everyone has the right skate guards and maybe everyone has to bring a roll of tape like kids have to bring a box of tissues so there's enough to last the whole season.

Locker assignment must be SO STRESSFUL at the beginning. Upperclassmen totes get first dibs. Do you think Miller and Lalime ever get sick of only sitting next to each other? There really aren't many options for them as far as locker assignment goes. It's either this one or that one. Lindy spends hours planning out their locker assignments. He fits it in while he's picking his line combinations. That way he doesn't have to get his darts back out later.

The campaigning for Player Council must be interesting. Will Pommer still stand by his "Hugs for All" platform that cost him so dearly last season? Patrick Kaleta's smear campaign really hit home for Pommer when it was discovered that Pommer didn't specify if it was to be "Bro-Hugs" or Full-on embraces. His campaign was never able to clarify to a level that satisfied his would-be constituents. Steve Montador, aided by his campaign manager, Tim Connolly won with an "undisclosed benefits" platform. Will Monty reign supreme again this year? The race has always favored newcomers, hell, Craig Rivet made it all the way to team Captain in a surprise election result, and Shaonaynaye's connections in DC may work in his favor.

Goose will be collecting everyone's "What I Did on my Summer Vacation" essays and will read the best aloud to the class. I'm sure everyone hopes to avoid last year's disaster caused by the dioramma submitted by Thomas Vanek. This year the criteria was circulated WEEKS in advance to avoid the crippling blow to Vanek's psyche he endured all last season as a result of the "incomplete" Mike Grier was forced to give him on his submission.

Yearbook day, top 5 in best days of the hockey year, will surely be a treat for all.

The slate is clean, and the hope for success is high, just so long as Staffy doesn't miss the bus and has to walk...again.

Has Anyone Else Kind of Forgotten About Hockey Lately?

by Anne

OKAY so I didn't FORGET about hockey, but for like a legit week I dedicated no more thoughts to hockey other than "Is that really tall cute guy Paul Gaustad? oh, nope, not at all." while working all day in Delaware Park. And almost everytime I got a text message I hoped it was: "BREAKING NEWS: The Buffalo Sabres have signed RW Jason Pominville to a 20 year, $400 million contract, for more details, consult the Oracle at Delphi". It never was, obvi. COME MONDAY I START TO BREAK OUT INTO COLD SWEATS, DARCY!!

Things that have occupied the space in my head normally reserved for hockey:

• Shakespeare

• If it is morally wrong to punch an annoying 16 year old in the face, if you are said 16 year old's teacher

• My student loan not going through yet

• All they money I thought I had to buy a car with went toward buying a furnace in like April and no one told me. THANKS!

• THERE ARE LIKE 6 BILLION DIFFERENT WAYS TO GET LOANS FOR THINGS

• If I should buy all Camp Rock folders for school, despite never having seen the movie and I hate the name "Shane"

• Why my adviser hasn't emailed me back yet

• Is it socially acceptable to wear these yoga pants I just bought EVERYWHERE I GO BECAUSE THEY'RE SO COMFORTABLE?!

• Is Kevin Jonas gay or European?
  

• Does it matter?

• If I don't get hired to carry food around the Arena, I'll shoot myself because I was probably the only thing approaching a normal human being at the job fair, and I'm quite a few body lengths away from "normal human being"

• All the bazillion things on Facebook I don't want my students to see, so their viewing of my profile is so limited, all they can see is my name

• At the rate I'm going, I'm never going to get married and have babies, yet I'm always thinking of fun baby names which I've decided to no longer reveal for fear in case I manage to somehow get married and have babies I can use them without someone stealing them

• I'm kind of terrified of what'll happen if I take too many vitamins and get iron poisoning. I think I dedicate way too much energy to this fear

• I don't care how many people tell me the real lyrics, the words are: "When I grow up, I wanna see the world, drive nice cars, I wanna have BOOBIES."
  

• Perhaps my pushing hockey out of my brain is merely a defense mechanism because there's NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT

WHAT KIND OF WORLD DO WE LIVE IN WHEN I LEGITIMATELY WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH DEREK ROY'S OFF SEASON TRAINING? I DON'T CARE AT ALL ABOUT DEREK ROY WHEN HE'S NOT WEARING #9. These are scary, uncertain times.

This is totally ridiculous

by Anne

See title of post. I have nothing to say. We all know where I stand. If you're unsure, you need look no further than the previous post or 12 to figure it out.


Enjoy some StaalLove with some interviews from before this season. Aka, Marc hadn't started his NHL career and Jared was probably only 16.


Around the kitchen table:

Mama Staal, what did you put in their Flintstones vitamins in the morning, HGH?

The Staal Brothers Personal Wall O' Fame:

I think Marc's "rusty wheel on the shopping cart" position in the family makes him my favorite Staal. That, and the flowing locks in that picture. Yowzas. WHO NAMED THE DOG CANDY? THAT IS TOTALLY AWESOME AND TOTALLY GIRLY AND I LOVE IT.

Staal Family Backyard Rink:

I tried to figure out which one was which in the home movie clips but unless you had all 4 of them together, it's pretty hard to tell, especially because 1/2 their faces are covered almost all the time.

Just Get a Ruler, Boys:

I enjoy the tactful way they all acknowledge that Marc is not a great shooter. That's why he's the defenseman in the family. Jared should've been a goalie, just to even it all out.

At the Thunder Bay Rink:

Do you only get the white helmets when you with the Stanley Cup? Does Eric have an exceptionally large or small noggin? I enjoy the mid-clip commercial by Eric and Jared. All Jordan contributes is that he has bad taste in music. Marc lets us know that he supports Tim Hortons.

All Hockey Players' 2nd Love:

Wow, EVERYTHING is a competition with these boys. That's probably what got them to where they are today.


Watching all these videos in a row kind of makes Eric seem like a douche. Although, he is the oldest and that superiority thing comes with the territory. In the shootout thing he's very supportive of his littlest brother. Little. Hah. Boy's probably 6'4" like all his brothers.

Marc "Rusty Wheel" Staal has no love for Pat Kaleta:

Take the poll on the upper left. Yes, POLLS. That's how strapped I am. I thought I saw Mike Ryan at Tim Horton's today. I thought wrong. As mentioned above, one of the Staals (I'm pretty sure it's Marc) is drinking Tim Hortons for a split second in that rink video. Its fate. I drink Tim Horton's coffee all the time. I realize he might be drinking something other than coffee, but I don't care.

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Private to the NHL schedule makers:

Bite me.

Love,
Anne