Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Back to Schoooool

by Anne

Do you think hockey players get excited for the first day of training camp like kids get excited for the first day of school?

Do you think they pick out their outfits the night before? Day before? I'm sure Royzie has been STRESSING about his outfit planning for weeks. Y'all know he's planning his outfits for the next at LEAST three months to avoid the dreaded repeat wearing of a killer outfit.

Does Lindy send out a supply list? Maybe it's Rip's job to make sure everyone has the right skate guards and maybe everyone has to bring a roll of tape like kids have to bring a box of tissues so there's enough to last the whole season.

Locker assignment must be SO STRESSFUL at the beginning. Upperclassmen totes get first dibs. Do you think Miller and Lalime ever get sick of only sitting next to each other? There really aren't many options for them as far as locker assignment goes. It's either this one or that one. Lindy spends hours planning out their locker assignments. He fits it in while he's picking his line combinations. That way he doesn't have to get his darts back out later.

The campaigning for Player Council must be interesting. Will Pommer still stand by his "Hugs for All" platform that cost him so dearly last season? Patrick Kaleta's smear campaign really hit home for Pommer when it was discovered that Pommer didn't specify if it was to be "Bro-Hugs" or Full-on embraces. His campaign was never able to clarify to a level that satisfied his would-be constituents. Steve Montador, aided by his campaign manager, Tim Connolly won with an "undisclosed benefits" platform. Will Monty reign supreme again this year? The race has always favored newcomers, hell, Craig Rivet made it all the way to team Captain in a surprise election result, and Shaonaynaye's connections in DC may work in his favor.

Goose will be collecting everyone's "What I Did on my Summer Vacation" essays and will read the best aloud to the class. I'm sure everyone hopes to avoid last year's disaster caused by the dioramma submitted by Thomas Vanek. This year the criteria was circulated WEEKS in advance to avoid the crippling blow to Vanek's psyche he endured all last season as a result of the "incomplete" Mike Grier was forced to give him on his submission.

Yearbook day, top 5 in best days of the hockey year, will surely be a treat for all.

The slate is clean, and the hope for success is high, just so long as Staffy doesn't miss the bus and has to walk...again.


  1. I actually saw a few of them shopping today at Great Skate with their lists. One of them (I shall not reveal names) had a little meltdown because the skate guards that they had were not of the same brand that Lindy specified on the list. Others were fighting over the last mouth guard that they had in stock... I guess that's what happens when you wait until the last minute to get your supplies.


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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller Shutout" - A 58 minute, multi-goal shutout lead that is blown when Miller allows one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes. Because Butter Snap pretzels, like the Carolina Hurricanes, are disgusting
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Oscar - Anne's cat

Because it's never not funny

Completely adorable