I just love being hacked (wait that sounds wrong)

by Anne

My beloved anniebeeswax@gmail.com account I created when I created this blog was hacked today. It's exceptionally annoying because I use this email account for the most random things. All of the weirdos that have emailed me over the years got a spam email from me today. Serves them right. I get at least one email a week from someone who supposedly saw my blog and thinks it's a great example of something or other and they want me to team up and market with them. Yeah, sure. My goofy little Sabres blog is just the thing your company needs to send you into the stratosphere.

Any whoozle. I bought a sweet new camera and I'm beyond pumped to take it to Puck Drop this weekend. I can't stay too long because I have an appointment at 2:30, but I'm excited to try it out there. It's a Nikon Coolpix L110. The only drawback is that it runs on AA batteries. Lame. If you follow me on Twitter, expect to see multiple artistic shots of things around my house including, but not limited to, my cat, my dog, my Mom, my Dad, this sweet blanket on my bed, my piggy bank (it's awesome, don't hate) and general furniture and what not. It's sure to wonder and amaze.

PUCK DROP IS SATURDAY! WOOOOOO!!!!! THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN!! :D :D :D

ETA: Just when I was all "oh snap I don't have batteries," I opened up the box and Nikon provided me with some lithium batteries. A+, Nikon, A+++.

Stanley's Surprise Night On the Town

by Anne

There's a photo gallery up of the Pens surprising fans and taking the Cup around Pittsburgh this weekend. I, of course, decided to steal pics of my favorite Penguin acting goofy with the Cup:

As Mirtle said: "Don't drop the Cup, Jordan."


Friends! Pittsburghers! Non-countrymen!
Lend me your ears!
I come to drink from Stanley, not to drop him!
The evil that the Red Wings do lives after them
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Crosby. The noble Lidstrom
Hath told you Crobsy was ambitious
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Crosby answer'd it.
....

Ok, maybe that's just what I think he was saying because I'm currently working on a production of Shakespeare's Julius Caesar and I'm a huge nerd. Also that speech would imply that Nick Lidstrom killed Sidney Crosby. Maybe that doesn't so much apply here.

However, if the Pittsburgh Penguins were the play Julius Casear, Jordan Staal would definitely be Marc Antony. Which makes Sidney Crosby Julius Caesar and I think that makes Nick Lidstrom Brutus and Chris Osgood, Cassius.

Most importantly: What the hell am I talking about?

While I feel I am safe in assuming Mr. Staal is under the influence of something a little more potent than adrenaline, in the entire gallery, he is not seen consuming alcohol. Also, Jordan appears to be holding the Cup in just about every group photo. Whatevs, I'm ok with it.

Yay! Enjoy it boys, you earned it.

SCREW THAT

by Anne

After mulling it over in the clear light of day, I'm not changing one darn thing about this blog. If people want to take what I write about OTHER PEOPLE too personally then that's their samba, not mine.

Although I did have a great name picked out. But I'm saving it on the off-chance I ever decide to use it for something. WOOOOO!!!!

This is my attitude towards anonymous posters and emailers:

its all cool bebes, all cool.

Reading For Hours Makes My Head Mushy

by Anne

The new version of Firefox and I are in a fight because whenever I have more than 2 tabs open and try to play a video from Sabres.com, Firefox crashes. So I'm back together with my old browser boyfriend, Safari, he isn't as flashy and some websites don't support him, but he gives me the space I need. There's "Private Browsing" which is basically so you can look at porn and no one will know. COME ON, YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT ITS FOR!!! Also, Firefox had a tendency to make websites I log into all the time forget my password. It's been suuuuper annoying, so until they come out with Firefox 4.0 or whatever is next, I'm going to stick with Safari.

In actual seriousness though, peeps:

I'm seriously thinking about changing the name of the blog. Honestly, the name was probably a bad idea in the first place considering there's a store *IN* HSBC Arena with the same name and people might think this is somehow associated with it. I've never been 100% thrilled with the name choice, but I've stuck with it for like 10 months-ish.

Would you still read this blog if it had a different name, and you had to go through the hassle of changing your blog rolls? It'd be same blog, just with a different name? 

Srsly let me know peeps. Comment away!!!

Um, Excuse Me

by Anne

To the person who is posting links to our blog on that gross hockey players girlfriend's forum:

Please stop. It's not me or S(h)ara and we don't want people to think that we endorse that ridiculousness. I only found it because I wanted a good laugh, and instead I'm kind of annoyed. Especially because the link was directing people directly back to posts about Goose.

Please stop.

Also, this DIRECT QUOTE from a post I did not long ago:

Danny and Fiancee are getting married in July of 2009. How cute, he probably didn't want to conflict with Vanek and Petey's nuptials...

Yo, if it's someone who reads this and comments and is cool, that's fine, you don't need to say that's you or whatever, I don't care, just stop. It's just really weird to see this stuff written other places.

Analyzing our Analytics

by Anne


Whoever invented Google Analytics is the greatest person to ever live. It is good for never ending entertainment.


About once a week, I check our Google Analytics search engine stats because they're frequently totally ridiculous. They're mostly "Sabretooth", "Paul Gaustad Sabres", and "Pat Kaleta middle name" type searches, but there are a few gems and some that leave me scratching my head.


For example, we have two hits for "Nashville Predators". Exactly how long did you have to page through Google's results before you got to our page? I'm guessing quite a while.


There are some definite "huh?" search terms:


To the person (or persons) who finds our site by searching for shirtless hockey players, uh, sorry. I can recall posting pictures of Vinny, Ry-ry, Higgy and Eric Godard shirtless, but not any of the following that were being searched for:

Jason Spezza
Jarome Iginla
Marian Gaborik
Rick Dipietro
Nathan Gerbe (?!?!?!)


I also appreciate the "90s school picture with laserbeams" hit. That is in direct reference to a picture of Derek Roy in this post.

Also, the person who searched for "chocolate icecream", Hey there! I don't think a hockey blog is what you were looking for but, FYI, Breakaway Berrier is quite tasty.

Other entertaining hits include:

"welcome to the house of awesome"

We are pretty rockin'

"where does Derek Roy house"

I don't know. Where DOES Derek Roy house himself?

"Sabretooths grandson"

Congratulations, Toothy!

"leg and soul pain"

Sometimes, when a player's leg is in pain, his absence causes my soul pain, too

"Max Leake and Amerks"

Who?

"fuckyou"
"fuck"
"house fuck"

Wow, I never knew our blog contained so much profanity



My favorite goes to:

"'brady bunch movie' mic groin'"

Exactly what we were going for when we started this blog. I searched for it and the top hit for that exact phrase is a page of posts from January; one in which I mention how much one of the Jonas Brothers looks like the kid who played Greg in the Brady Bunch Movie, and another post where I talked about Afinogenov's groin.

First runner up is:

"doota baranek"

Is that a person? I searched for it and got a random website in Russian....not our blog.

One that creeped me out the most:

"Paul Gaustad mothers house address"

Um, please don't stalk Mother Goose. That would not be cool.

"Derek Whitmore" is the search term that brings us the most traffic. I, apparently, am the only person on the interwebs that gives a hoot about our undrafted recently signed college player. Whoops. Thanks to MK for our #2 hit of "Oscar Kaleta is a BAMF".


"Ryan Miller" is by far our most popular tag, next one is "Paul Gaustad" Really? I thought it'd be "Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here".


Not surprisingly, our overall hits were on a steady decline through March. Why is this not surprising? Because the Sabres were also on a steady decline in March, and who wants to read blogs about a slowly declining team? Well I do, but we bloggers are probably in the minority on that one. On the other hand, site visits went drastically UP in the month of April...as did my hope for the Buffalo Sabres.


There are peeps all over the place reading this thing. Some of them are me updating during vacation, but, 5 in Massachusetts, 17 in California? 24 in Florida? I'm gonna assume the 24 in Florida have something to do with all the posts about Richard Zednik. Who are you people?

I assume any or all of the Europe ones are Gambler or my old roommate who's in the UK right now. Who's reading our blog in Iran and Argentina? 27 hits in Austria? All from Vienna? SABREBRITNEY?!?!?! ARE YOU READING OUR BLOG? On the off chance he is: Don't take all those "Britney" jokes to heart, Thomas Vanek, I TOTALLY love you, hahaha. Wait, didn't Gambler say she was in Austria? Although, I'm assuming she didn't visit our blog 14 times in one day....Vanek? Wikipedia tells me that he was born near Vienna, lol.


Anyhoot, thanks for reading and searching for totally random things!

I'm Too Sexy for The Playoffs

by Anne

All this talk of actual "Hockey" has gotten me all flustered.

Honestly, when did I become such a boy and spend so much of my time focusing on facts, statistics and the like?

This watching of other teams has left me all a twitter. Am I cheating on my Sabres? Does Jaro go home at night, saddened because I spend more time gazing at Gary Roberts being all swaggery and tough in Pittsburgh than I do at his perfectly cubic head?

Does Staffy know that I nearly wept when Zachy lost his toofers? Don't worry Drew! I would totally be the first on the ice with a glass of milk to collect your destroyed teeth in hopes of their salvation. Only if I could wear gloves, though. I love you, Staffers, but I don't really want to touch your recently departed teeth with my bare hands.

Max is rumoured to be on the tradeblock. It's no secret that I'm no fan of Maxy. He's just not as good as he was last year, he probably wants out of Buffalo, and, most importantly, his presence is seriously dragging down the average sexiness of the team.

The team's sexiness got a serious boost in February when we dumped Big Red and acquired Big Bear. It also got a serious boost when Kalinin was injured and Mike "Doof" Weber came on board. His roster photo is hysterically vacant in expression, but he has those sexy, "I will melt the ice with the intense laser gaze I use to intimidate my opponents" eyes. All in all, with the departure of the pasty midget (Danny Briere) and the dorky hamster (w/o playoff beard Chris Drury) this team's sexiness is on the rise.

There is no place for Maxim Afinogenov or Dmitri Kalinin on a team this wrought with sex appeal.

There are many kinds of sexy on this team.

For example, Ryan Miller is totally not my type, however, I feel his presence gives this team a hint of "could snap at any moment" sexy.

There's also the "You're probably a total jerk, but I'd probably sleep with you anyway." sex appeal of Drew Stafford, Ales Kotalik and Tim Connolly.

My personal favorite kind of sexy is the: "Aw shucks, guys, I'm tryin' my best, I sure am glad you like it." kind of sexy brought to the Sabres by Jason Pominville, Danny Pie-YAY, and Jochen Hecht.

Then there's the "I'm tough, but here's my softer side." appeal of Paul Gaustad, Adam Mair, Pat Kaleta and Jaro Spacek.

The reverse is also true, and is also my other favorite kind of sexy: The "I may be sweet but I'll totally kick your ass" sexy of Nolan Pratt, Derek Roy, Steve Bernier (who? don't you mean BIG BEAR?)and Henrik Tallinder. With Derek Roy, its more like "I want to kick your ass but I'm tiny, so I'll take a diving penalty instead."

Don't forget the "Come on, now! How can you NOT love me?", unusually inexplicable appeal of players like Toni Lydman, Nathan Paetsch, Mike Ryan and Andrew Peters.

Then there's Teppo. Teppo gets his own category for just being all-around TOTALLY AWESOME. The smirk! The hair! The heart condition! He's totally prime material.

Um, ok. I casually forgot to mention a few players, but that's because they're just not sexy or need to earn their way back to being sexy...Thomas Vanek... I still loves ya.

I look forward to tracking this team's overall Sexy to Grody ratio during the off-season.

Pennsylvania is bad luck

by Anne

The Sabres now 3-3-1 when they play when I'm in the state of Pennsylvania and 0-3-1 when I stay in a hotel in Pennsylvania. They are guaranteed no points when I am totally out of touch with any game they've played this season. That's actually 100% true this season: any game I haven't watched or listened to while it was going on, they've lost in regulation.

I blame this loss on me. I'm sorry guys. I can't evaluate how CRAPTASTICALLY you must've all played tonight based on my viewing, so I'll use statbits.

First, the good:

Goose: 70% face off wins, keep up those numbahs!
Roysie got a 67% win.

I honestly just stared at the Game Stats for about 3 minutes trying to find something else good to say...and I got nothin'.

That must've been a painful game.

There's so much bad, but I can sum it up best with the following:

None of the Leafs were a -.

None of the Sabres were a +.

This calls for another animal wearing glasses picture, that's how bad it was.

At least....crap, Washington won... congrats Ovie on your 60th goal! It's been, what 11 years since a player scored 60 goals? Congrats!

Philly won...ugh. I HATE THE SABRES! THEY'RE MAKING MY HOCKEY ULCER REALLY BAD.

Ok, I can't hate them, I still love them forever. Those last 3 games were magnificent and they can't keep it up all the time but. But, but! Ugh.

I'M GOING TO BED. At least there aren't any more games while I'm in PA. OH GOD, IT'S THE SENATORS NEXT. They may not be as storm trooper like any more but they still play excellent hockey against us.

That's it! I need 2 pictures.

HA!

Ok, that helped a little.

OMG THINGS ARE WORSE THAN I THOUGHT

by Anne

I love my Sabres insider text messages. They give me such gems as:

BREAKING NEWS:

Nathan Paetsch questionable; Jason Pominville would play defense in his absence.

and

BREAKING NEWS:

Mike Weber recalled from the Rochester Americans.

Looks like Doof gets the nod.

POMMERDOODLE on DEFENSE? Are Funky and Card that bad? WOW.

Yo, this shiz is CRAZY.

WHAT HAPPENED?!?!

by Anne

So when the Sabres were losing 3-1 I changed the channel in utter disgust and a few minutes later, encouraged my sister's boyfriend to change it back to see the Lexus Shootout, yet we managed to make it back in time for OVERTIME? WHAT?

This is what that first sentence originally said before my even drunker sister read it and made fun of me:

I changed the channel in drunken disgust and turned back after a lot of encouragement to my sister's boyfriend he changed the channel back in time to see all of overtime.

I told the Sabres I hated them many times over and then dearest Roysie, desperate to regain my love, scored a goal. Then we gave up another and I changed the channel. Then SabreBritney, desperate to regain his weak hold on the place in the smoothie car ride scored 2 goals to force overtime and THEN put away the game winner in OT for his 2nd career hat trick - a natural hat trick. (Prive to the Lightning....whoa, no offense boys, but now we see why you're last in the east...that, um, was really bad).

I'm about to say something I never thought I'd say.

At this moment, Thomas "SabreBritney" Vanek is my favorite Sabre. Yes, I have been drinking.

I love you Thomas Vanek. 12 goals in 11 games after only like, what? 14 in the first 50 or so? tank-ass. You want to save the Earth, your son (from the pictures I've seen) is super cute as well as is your dazzling fiancee. You're really great. I really like you a lot. You really respond to the imminent loss of my love, affection and smoothies.

It was just like a repeat of our game against Tampa in October. Down by 2 goals, force overtime, Britney with the game winner. WOOOOOOO!! Britney! Keepin' the babies!!

SISSY YOU WERE SO GOOD TOO. WOOOOOO!!! SISSY! BRITNEY! TIMMY! SABRETOOTH! SISSY! SMOOTHIES! ON BRITNEY! (he is a crazy millionaire)

HAHAHAHAHAHHA MSG just totally effed up and showed like a solid minute of KSylv and Roby getting messed with by their sound man . Hahahahahahahahaha I love Vodka I am TOTALLY pommerdoooooooodling. yay!

We have a serious problem here

by Anne

SabreNation, we need to have a sit-down. There is a serious problem amongst our ranks.

I don't know how some of you will take this so brace yourselves. Some of our beloved Sabres hide a deep, dark secret. A secret so terrible that I shudder to even think it: There is a small contingent of Sabres who want to destroy the planet Earth.

Which ones you might ask are the purported EarthHaters? Five of our dear hockey players want to bring about the apocalypse by way of carbon emissions. However, could five Buffalo Sabres with evil in their hearts be enough to destroy us all?

Members of NHL teams were asked to sign a petition pledging to live green and eat tofu or something like that. There were 5 Sabres who chose NOT to sign this petition. Whom, you might ask?

Well I can tell you this: Roysie hearts the little chipmunks! Yo-yo has his own compost heap! Sissy wants there to be a world in which you "Shoot Puck! Score Goal! Win Game!" for many generations to come! Pommerdoodle loves to romp and frollick amongst the trees in the park so OF COURSE he wants to save the Earth! Goosie too! He needs a place to produce his adorkable PSAs! Even un-dead zombie brain eater, Staffy, wants the Earth to survive and flourish!

HOWEVER, there are a few choice Sabres who are not participating in the team's plans to save our planet. I have come to one conclusion about these men:

They are rogue aliens from another hockey galaxy hellbent on destroying our planet. They want to destroy the Earth and bring all our hockey players to their galaxy to play in an ultra intergalactic hockey league. Its SO plausible.

Granted, their methods are slow, but through the work of the Buffalo Sabres, they'll get it done.

Or, they might just be jerks who didn't feel like signing a piece of paper.

Here are the suspects:

"Timmy Connolly"

Clearly, TimmyHo is the ring leader of the operation. All this talk of "injuries?" Hah! Timmy is secretly commuting back and forth between his home planet and ours to report back to the Dark Side's General Managers about the current condition of the Earth's atmosphere and +/-.

You say "bone spur", I say "CO2-emitting alien bone spur."

Next we have suspect #2:

Danny Pie-YAY, leader of our honorable brethren, Pie Lovers United, is tragically one of the Sabres working towards the Earth's ultimate destruction. He has been known to run his air conditioning at full tilt all summer long and blasts his heat at 85 degrees even whilst on team road trips. I should've known he was one of the alien spies when I got his autograph last summer:

Slightly suspicious, no?

Next we have:

"Adam Mair"

Clearly Mairsy is the reject alien spy. He's not very good at blending in with his surroundings. Wearing an 'A' this month is probably not what your alien commanders had in mind when they sent you down to recruit for them. His job was to find hockey players and convert them to the Dark Side. From the above picture, you can see he needs to work on differentiating between "hockey player" and "things that wandered out onto the ice." Favorite method to slowly destroy the earth: throwing out gatorade bottles after the games instead of recylcing them.

Our 4th Evil Alien is:

"Mikey Ryan"

Look at the evil in those eyes! Mikey Ryan is obviously the go-to man for insta-destruction of parts of the Earth's atmosphere and foliage. Not being a high profile Sabre he has AMPLE opportunity to mastermind his devious plans. He regularly turns on every light in his house at all times of the day and night and leaves the water running while he brushes his teeth. Pure. Evil.

Last but not least we have the godfather:

"Jocelyn Thibault"

Really, Aliens of Glornax 7? Did you not do your research? Jocelyn? Way to pick an under the radar common man's name like "Jocelyn." Clearly they wised up by the time they got to "Tim", "Adam", "Dan", and "Mike," but they started out rocky with "Jocelyn." T-Bo's role in this gang is to be the quiet unsung hero of the alien race. His job is to turn on Ryan Miller's big-ass SUV before every game and leave it idling in the parking lot. Then he runs out while Millsey's being interviewed post-game and turns it off. The result: Millsey spending his life savings on gas and the Earth's ultimate destruction.

These clever gents must be stopped! Join the Sabres Green Team and help stop the alien take over! Get a sweet green window decal too!

I don't count Kaleta and MacArthur as rogue alien spies because they're foolish young prospects who don't know any better. They're still taking remedial recycling classes with Goosie. They can't get Kaleta to stop smashing the cans on his forehead and Grizz is taking the term "tree hugger" too literally. That last trip to the park was a nightmare, he just wouldn't let go. I think Grizz has abandonement issues.

Sick to my stomach

by Anne

No, the title is not intended to reflect my bout with the ebola virus I experienced on Friday, it is in direct reference to this weekends "hockey" played by the Buffalo Sabres.

I don't have much to say about that "game" S(h)ara and I "attended" yesterday. I choose instead to reflect my feelings in list form. Before the game, to coincide with the beginning of the big GMs meeting in Florida, I was going to make a list of players I would be devastated to lose should they be traded. Today, I choose instead to make my choices for that list in direct response to how Sabres hockey was represented this weekend:

Thomas Vanek (Woo, 2 goals in 2 games, there's not a whole lot more you can ask for...except the rest of the team to step it up as well.)

Patrick Kaleta (You DRAW those penalties! Woo!)

Drew Stafford (he's been granted immunity as he's on the IR)

Nathan Paetsch (Those baby blues! He warms up and then doesn't play ... :( I still love ya, Nate!)

That is all.

But, watching Goose larger than life on the HD Jumbotron holding a broken lamp and an aluminum can and raising his eyebrow all contemplative-like while reading the newspaper was the highlight of my weekend, so I'll also throw in:

Paul Gaustad (I WILL recycle for you Goose!)

That's it. The rest of you can go now. Yes, Sissy, even you. Keep it moving. I'm sorry Pie-YAY, we Pie Lovers are not feeling the love today. Grizz, let's go, nothing to see here. Pommerdoodle, stop whimpering, I know you had that big hit. Good, but that's not what we pay you to do. Boys, Millsey's gonna need you through this one, he's never been left off of a list of my most beloved Sabres before.

Ok, Britney, Staffy, Patsy, Goose, Patches, let's get smoothies, Sabretooth's driving. I call shotgun!

I was so distraught that when I saw Patches after the game, I threw myself at him:



Sort of.

I'm whispering all my sad feelings into Patches' giant ear

I wish I may, I wish I might

by Anne

It's times like these, when the post-season is gleaming on the horizon and we have a loose grip on a playoff spot that I start to wish one thing.

No, dear friends, I do not wish for injuries to befall other players, or for a blockbuster trade. I do not daydream about "it" nor do I wish for an elaborate series of losses by opposing Eastern Conference teams. Do I spend my waking hours hoping against hope that Teppo will come back? No. Do I wish for all of the other teams in the NHL to refuse to play the Sabres out of fear and in awe of our badass-itude? No, none of those things sit atop my wish list.

Times like these, when things are close and could go either way, I wish for that most horrible of all things. The worst imagineable thing to be. I shudder to even think that the thought of this fate could even cross my mind, but I'll admit it anyway.

More than anything right now I wish that

I was a Puckbunny.

Think about it! They go to the games, they don't give a crap about the score, or the standings, or a player's individual on-ice performance! All they care about is how good the hockey players look and which one they'd most like to um, be "intimate" with! (It's a family blog people...disregard previous curse words).

I can TOTALLY (try to) DO THAT. I didn't wear any Sabres gear to Sunday's game because they've won the games I attended when I didn't wear any Sabres logo-ed things. Instead, I opted to dress as though I were going out on a regular day and just felt the entire time that I looked like a puckbunny. Not that I am particularly puckbunny-esque in my overall appearance (translation= I'm not blonde, tan or skinny), but I felt like I looked like I was trying too hard.

Don't worry, people, I could talk for a great deal of time about the finer physical attributes of our beloved Buffalo Sabres (and I think I have) but, sadly, even a hockey player whom I deem attractive. Petey (if you've never met him in real life, I could understand dissention, but having met him and talked to him he's a nice guy and cute too) doesn't usually crack the top 20 in my list of favorite Sabres on the current active roster. However, Drew Stafford, who I don't know if I'd find attractive if he weren't such a sweet hockey player, is regularly on top of that list. My inner puckbunny is ashamed.

Would I find Sissy's ugly mug appealing off the ice? No, but if I met him would I squeal with joy? Absolutely.

If Clarke MacArthur were a random dude at a bar would I be ok with flirting with him? N- well actually I might.

Did I thoroughly enjoy when S(h)ara and I ventured into puckbunny land last month and developed our rosters of All-Star hottness? Of course I did! I mean, no! I was devastated by our lack of statistical proof of these players' greatness! My head still hangs in shame.

Let's say I were one day to meet Mr. Daniel Pie-YAY, would his sometimes floppy hair, dimples, dark brown puppy dog eyes, broad shoulders, tall stature, usually goofy but adorble smile--wait, what was I talking about?

From Urban Dictionary.com:

puck bunny:

A female, typically in her late teens to early 30s (but it can go lower) who attends hockey games, not to see a well fought game, or to see 2 goons duke it out, but just to look at the studly hockey players in the hoping that one night they'll roll over and see them in their bed, or in his bed, and has little or no interest in the sport or the score, and when a hockey player is brought up in coversation, will commonly use the words "tight, cute, sexy, ass, arms, shoulders" at any point in 1 sentence.

I can TOTALLY adopt that mentality! Who's with me?

Hahaha, Pommerdoodle

by Anne

Haha. I love this stuff.

From Pommer's blog:

What is the best joke that you have seen played on either you or a teammate? -- Lynn Wesolowski from West Seneca, NY

It was probably actually played on myself and Paul Gaustad last year. In Montreal, we got to the hotel pretty late and had practice the next day. So Paul and I hurried up and grabbed the order form for breakfast. I picked eggs and he had oatmeal or whatever. The door next to us was Danny [Briere] and Marty [Biron]. When they found out that was our room, they took the order form and just start filling out everything. Pancakes, hash browns, muffins, sausage... all kinds of different stuff. So the next morning, I answer the door to get the food. I started bringing stuff into the room and was like, "Paul, my god, were you starving or something?"

He knew right away that it was Dan and Marty for sure.

Haha. Aww, Pommerdoodle! You're clearly a prime target for practical jokes. Even Danny Briere said you were the most gullible guy on the team in his interview with Schopp and the Bulldog in December.

P.S. I also love that he called him Paul and not Goose. Sometimes I actually forget that his name is Paul. He doesn't look like a "Paul" he looks like a "Goose." Well, not like an actual goose, but a hockey pla- oh you know what I mean.

Pie-Heads Unite

by Anne

The Pie Lovers United is pleased to announce that two new members have been added to our roster.

Please welcome to the team:

Matt: Pie-YAY's Top Undercover Operative.

Wherever he goes, he scouts other players and instills fear in them about Danny Pie-YAY's badassery. Living in New Jersey, he has easy access to many NHL teams that are just out of reach of Pie Lovers National Headquarters in Buffalo. His work began after Anton Volcenkov nearly decapitated Danny on January 4. Has anyone clobbered the PIE since? I. Think. Not.

Favorite Pie: Shepard's

Coolest. Lamp. Ever.

I must confess I have never met Mr. Bowl Full of Pork (see sidebar for blog link), so I decided to peruse his blog for some photographic inspiration. When I came across this lamp photo I instantly knew 2 things: (1) More people need to see this lamp and (2) Why don't I own one yet?

Katebits: Chief Pie-Head Troop Rallier and Official Theme Song Composer

If you need evidence of her skills at team motivation, see her blog, you yourself will be inspired to go out and win big for the Sabres as well.

Favorite Pie: Banana Creme

Picture stolen from the Willful Caboose.

Katebits works hard for Pie-YAY. Therefore, she drank herself into oblivion. This is the kind of dedication I expect from all Pie-Heads and, actually, anyone I could hang out with. Booze= good. Supporting Danny Pie-YAY= good. Therefore Booze= Supporting Danny Pie-YAY.

Welcome aboard Matt and Katebits!

Remember, you too can be a Pie-Head. We have mixers and t-shirts. Ok, well, maybe one day if we all decide to go to a game together or something we'll make t-shirts. I don't think Oscar can come though as he sheds a great deal when he's excited. Think of the shower of kitten hair that would rain down were Danny Pie-YAY to score a goal. The insurance liability is mind boggling. No, he'll have to hold down the fort at Pie Lovers National Headquarters in Buffalo. We get a lot of calls on game nights but don't worry, Oscar's really a people person cat.