Happy Birthday, Chris Butler!

by Anne

Today our dearly beloved Sir Christopher turns twenty-three years of age.

I baked you this cake.

It's of Sir Christopher doing various chivalrous deeds: Making peace with his enemies, slaying dragons, protecting the fortress, you know, all in a day's work for our beloved blueliner.

Happy Birthday!

Tim Connolly I Just- I Don't - What I Mean Is...

by Anne

Tim Connolly signs a contract that is universally concluded to be overpaying someone who's always hurt and follows up by contributing five points in two huge wins.

For as important as Timmy's two goals were tonight, for me the most impressive contribution he made tonight was his set up for Sekera's goal. Harry even slowed it down to show us again on the monitors but even watching it in person I could see what was being set up and I'm up in the 300s. How could the players on the ice not see it? Timmy put Reggie exactly where he wanted him to be for the play, won the face off and Reggie one-timed it for the goal. It was a goal that Bryzgalov probably should've been able to stop but who cares, it was beautifully executed.

Not only was it a phenomenal set up, it was the kind of thing that Timmy can do all. the. time.

I'm not saying this to try to be funny. I am literally completely conflicted over how to feel about Tim Connolly.

Maybe its because I'm always waiting for him to be hurt, but whenever Timmy's on the ice I watch him. I look to see what he's going to do, what pass he's going to make, how he's going to try and set something up. He's just so interesting to watch on the ice, especially from up in the nosebleeds where you can see plays develop better.

I'm still conflicted.

We had so much success without him that I just got used to him as the drugged up one sitting in the corner, not doing much.

On top of that, I'm also used to hearing awkward stories about Timmy being a creeper that probably aren't true but DANG are they funny.

He seems like such an asshole sometimes. Then again, there are so many explanations for why he comes off that way. He clearly isn't too comfortable giving interviews. I hope talking to him in real life isn't as stilted as his voice is when being interviewed.

The point is I want to love Tim Connolly, I really really do, but I just can't. I want to hate him, I really really do, but I just can't. I am deeply ambivalent about Tim Connolly's role on the Buffalo Sabres. I don't want him to leave but I don't like the contract he just signed which keeps him here...

If I were to meet him I'm really not sure how I would react.

Uncomfortable, indifferent Timmy
The Timmy we grew so accustomed to.


I don't know who that is

He chose Buffalo. He wants to stay here. I was fairly surprised to hear him say that so many times and seem to actually mean it. What? But its BUFFALO. I love it here, but no one ever said I was playing with a full deck.

I mean the man did the worm at the Catwalk for Charity. Who DOES that?

If anyone else had said all those things about wanting to stay in Buffalo I'd be humming happy songs and cross stitching their names onto throw pillows (I have a few sets in the works). If anyone else had been so ridiculous as to do the worm at the Catwalk for Charity I would've giggled. For some reason when its Timmy, I feel suspect.

I think the best way I can describe my feelings about Timmy is that he's basically the only player whose life off the ice is a bigger factor in my opinion of him than what he does ON the ice. That's not fair.

Frankly Timmy, you can bang all the skanky hos in Buffalo you want to. Or don't. Whatevs, I don't care. Just toss up a few more four point nights and I'll be happy.

In the end, the world is too full of animosity. Tim Connolly chose Buffalo, so when it comes to Tim Connolly, I choose the love cupcake:

No, angry jack-o-lantern cupcake, stop looking at love cupcake so angrily, you represent the OLD Timmy

This is also an excuse for me to bust out one of my favorite hockey related images:

That's when Timmy had hair
I would look so cute in that hat.

Senators tomorrow. Can't wait to watch!

My Sabres Practice

by James

Tomorrow I am going to the Sabres practice. I hope Ryan Miller does well. We're going to get up at, believe this, 7:04. Then we're going to have yummy pancakes and sausage.

My favorite hockey player is still Ryan Miller. He is AWESOME. I wish I could be like him, only not with getting hit with slapshots. I wonder how much the pads weigh? I just found out they weigh 50 pounds! I hope Vanek is gonna come back soon. Without him we are hopeless. Absolutely hopeless. Drew Stafford has been playing pretty well... I still think we're hopeless.

Well I have to go to bed now so bye bloggers!

I'll be back soon about the practice.

This is James, signing off.

Short and tall
Just like me and Annie (my cousin)

Craig Rivet: Buffalo Sabre

by Anne

Craig Rivet is the captain of the Buffalo Sabres. I love Craig Rivet. I'm really happy he's on our team. However, I must confess that for a long time (until, like, yesterday) I had trouble fully accepting Rivs as a Sabre. I don't mean "Sabre" as in just a player who wears a uniform and plays hockey. Clearly, he's been established as a player, but a Sabre in the way Ryan Miller and Paul Gaustad are Sabres, its more than just what goes on in HSBC Arena.

I can't really explain why I was hesitant to accept him. Its probably because he's the first player in recent memory to sweep into Buffalo and instantly take on such a huge role. He came out of nowhere and BOOM, he's captain. But, in spite of his difference making on the ice and his new leadership role, he wasn't part of the teams I'd grown to love so much from 2005-2007 so I didn't know what to make of him. Would he stick around? Would he make an impact off the ice too? Would he speak disparagingly of this city? Would he get Buffalo? I mean really get it? We need our captain to get it. Would Rivs?

Maybe its because he missed a lot of time and the Sabres were having some success without him. Maybe its because we all knew he was initially very unhappy with being traded here.

When I think of the Sabres as individual players, the list would fall roughly something like this: Miller, Roy, Vanek, Gaustad, Pominville, etc. when listing players in November or so, Rivet probably would've entered my consciousness somewhere between Pat Kaleta and Ales Kotalik. Important, but not central.

Lately things have begun to change. In the pictures and videos I've seen, he seemed to be having a great time at the Catwalk for Charity and that means something to me. It bothers me when I see pictures of players from around the league at events like that and they don't look like they're enjoying themselves. Why not? Get into it, these are your fans, be a part of your community. Earlier in the season he suggested that players should go to Women's and Children's Hospital and that speaks volumes about his character and about his attempts to connect with Buffalo.

After flight 3407 went down near Riv's home and he followed that tragedy with a huge three point night against his old team, it finally occurred to me that I hadn't fully welcomed him into my SabreHeart.

He was everything a Captain needed to be last night. He said all the right things in his interviews, he talked about the community and didn't once discount the importance of this game to the fans. He made the big plays and had the desperation pass of the night to tie the game and then almost put it away in over time. He didn't stop fighting for the team until the final buzzer sounded and the rest of the team rallied with him.

So, Welcome, Craigory. I'm not sure why it took me so long to fully accept you, but I have.

I'm not sure why the carrot picture didn't seal the deal.

Potential Favorite Rookie Nonsense

by Anne

I was working on a post discussing the HARROWING task ahead of me of choosing a favorite rookie, when Sabres.com decided to make my life harder by posting an article highlighting why Andrej Sekera and Mike Weber are totally awesome and why they should play in the NHL. BTW, the picture of #33 is not Doof. I'm not sure who it is, but Webby wears #34.

I DIDN'T NEED CONVINCING, ERIN POLLINA.

My choice for favorite rookie is going to be harder than I anticipated. S(h)ara and I were discussing choosing a favorite rookie last night. At the time, she was leaning towards Tim Kennedy and I was leaning towards Gerbe.

He he he

Gerb-dogg channels his inner Jason Pominville and gnaws on his mouth guard, seductively.


gross.

I can't forget Mike Weber in my hunt for a potential favorite rookie. I WANT to forget Mike Weber, because he might not crack the line up this October. Granted, if he doesn't, he'll be at the very top of the call-up list, I'm sure. BUT. Reggie will probably crack the line-up, and like Hank and Tone before them, can you really break up such a dynamic duo?!?! Sekera talks about how he enjoys having Webby there and how their styles compliment each other well, one a stay-at-home defenseman, one a more offense minded defenseman. Peanut Butter and Jelly, yin and yang, Bonnie and Clyde, Bran Engblom and his weave. THE TWO CAN NEVER BE TWAIN. WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR? ITS THE BEST PAIRING EVER IS REALLY WHAT IT IS.

So now I'm torn. Thanks a lot, Sabres.com and Mrs. Weber for having a son who has a universally praised work ethic and desire, knowledge and passion for the game. Loving Doof goes against my very nature as a human being. I've NEVER been the type of girl to fall for one of those kinds of people (defensemen), but might I make an exception for Michael? Could I? I'm just not sure if I can handle how "in flux" our relationship would be. Portland? Buffalo? Portland? Buffalo? My Bedroom? Portland?

Don't send Michael all the way to MAINE.


Who was driving? Was it Andrej?!
WERE YOU GETTING SMOOTHIES*

*oh yeah, I haven't given up on my "A smoothie a day makes a loss go away" philosophy, accept it, embrace it, love it, move on.

Nathan, Michael, battle it out at training camp. If they both make it, it will be a truly stressful time for me, choosing who to love more. GASP, if one makes it and one doesn't, it shall be a true test of my love. I will either rejoice or be consumed with sorrow. If they BOTH get sent to Maine, I may do something drastic like commit my heart to Tim Connolly, and THEN where will that leave us? Miserable and depressed, possibly pregnant, and DEFINITELY regretting our roster cuts, right Lindy? Do you really want it on your conscience that Tim Connolly has reproduced and I'm forced to accept his big fat monthly child support checks for the rest of my life? Please, Lindy, Jeep, Darcy, Brian McCutcheon, don't cut BOTH of them. Please?!?!

OK, WHAT THE HELL.

Sabres.com posts a Rookie Camp video and WHO ARE THE TWO PLAYERS THEY INTERVIEWED??!?!?! BRIAN WHEELER, DO YOU READ MY BLOG AND ARE TRYING TO STRESS ME OUT?!?!?!

Gerbe displays, once again his sparkling interview skills. I'm sure in the footage they didn't use, he thanked each player individually and knitted Lindy Ruff a winter cap that says "#1 Coach" and then talked Russia into backing off on Georgia once and for all. I have a feeling Nate Gerbe can talk anyone into doing anything. Do you think he can talk Derek Roy out of the fauxhawk? They'll be together a lot because Roysie is DEFINITELY going to be hanging out with the only guy on the team who's shorter than he is. COME ON YOU KNOW ITS TRUE.

Webby is rocking the "I'm just here to work hard and not take too much credit for my individual successes" attitude that makes me WEAK IN THE KNEES. When he first started talking, they weren't showing him and he sounded like Pommer. SOUNDING LIKE MY FORMER #1 WON'T HELP... ok I'm easily manipulated, so it actually might help but don't make a habit out of it, DOOF. The only downside I see to Webby is that his neutral facial expression reads less as "neutral" and more "I need to get to the nearest bathroom." I think he's been spending too much time watching Thomas Vanek video from mid-way through last season. OH YEAH. I WENT THERE.

I spend the time I should be doing homework updating my blog. That's just the way I roll.

DRASTIC CHANGES AHEAD...

by Anne

I have made a LIFE-ALTERING decision. LIFE. ALTERING.

I am completely abandoning my previous top 5 list and I am STARTING FRESH for the 2008-2009 season. I'm sure the list will look startlingly similar, but I don't want to be so TIED DOWN to Jason Pominville WHOM I LOVE MORE THAN MOST PEOPLE I HAVE ACTUALLY MET IN PERSON. I'm also not committing to a 5 player format. It might be 3 it might be 6. Why does it matter how many and in what order? This way, when you all are presented with the opportunity to present me with a Buffalo Sabre of my very own to love and cherish, you will be able to determine which one to bring home to me first. However, if your only options are Connolly, Afinogenov and Kotalik, I'll just pass. Really, its fine. No, really ITS FINE. I'LL PASS.

STARTING ANEW ON FRIDAY!!!

No! Pie! Wait! Don't worry! Don't look at me that way!
(between you me and the blogosphere, you're on my very shortlist for a new #1)



Lookit that floppy hair! How cute!



Lookit that goal celebration with Sissy!
(Sissy, I'm not as confident about you being on the top anymore, you're going to have to REALLY up your goofy quasi-English language interviews this season to hang on, I can also be bribed with coffee and offers to do my laundry and clip my cats claws which I have to do today and I REALLY don't want to because he hates it, ugh, but I digress...)

It doesn't look promising for you, Tyler Bouck

He Lives!!!!

by Anne

Jason Pominville is BACK!
And very thirsty

The love of my hockeylife (well, after Jarome Iginla) but the Prince of my Hockey Heart has returned from the great beyond. Or, well, from Quebec and has updated his blog!

At least now we know that Pommer has not abandoned us all for the time being.

Our 2nd Round Draft Pick is better than YOUR 2nd Round Draft Pick

by Anne

For loving Mr. Popper's Penguins, for wanting to be a fan favorite and agreeing to be interviewed by the boys at The Goose's Roost and for being compared possibly the most ADORABLE hockey player of all time in his draft ranking on TSN (why in GOD'S name was I looking at draft rankings yesterday... I just don't remember, especially because the draft was almost 2 months ago...) CHECK IT OUT. He's #34 under Tyler Ennis, actually. Look for the comparison under his picture.... I'll wait.....

dooot doooot doo, I'll look at this picture of him I found on Facebook while specifically looking for a funny picture of him for just this purpose until you get back from reading the draft analysis:

Ha. Nice hair.

Oh, back already? So you saw that they compared him to BIG BEAR!?!!!!!! I ALREADY HAD HIM IN A NECK AND NECK TIE WITH TYLER MYERS FOR FAVORITE 2008 DRAFT CLASS PROSPECT BUT NOW HE HAS BECOME THE CLEAR WINNER!

Oh yeah and he's awesome because we're Facebook friends which means we're like BFFL at least, right? Right. Although Tyler Myers and I are Facebook friends tooo. WHATEV. LUKE ADAM RAWKS.

Here's the next 25:

50. I hate being outside when its raining. These people who like taking walks in the rain must be freaks and wackos because I absolutely hate being outside and getting cold and wet and sloshing around through puddles

49. When I was younger (like high school) I thought people who loved sushi were just doing it because it was trendy. I didn't try sushi until I was in college and now California rolls and Crunchy Shrimp rolls are in my top all-time favorite foods

48. My Grandma really was the best cook ever. I know most people think their Grandma was the best but you never had dinner at Dea's house with the fresh garden peas from the family farm in Georgia and her chocolate chip cookies and all that deliciousness

47. I love to cook and I like to cook for others, basically so they'll eat it and it won't go to waste. WHO WANTS TO COME OVER FOR DINNER?!

46. Even though I'll basically have 2 bachelor's degrees and a masters degree by the time all is said and done, in my perfect world I'd be a stay at home wife and mommy venturing out to direct plays for high school students and such. What a great life that would be

45. Whenever someone pulls out the "Would you rather be blind or deaf" card I pick deaf every time. The thought of going blind freaks me out to no end

44. I hate canned chocolate frosting. It's completely disgusting to me. I like homemade chocolate frosting (especially when my friend Jenn makes it) and chocolate cake and chocolate in basically all other forms, but a can of Betty Crocker chocolate frosting makes me gag

43. At this point I have so many girlfriends to put in a hypothetical wedding party that I might just say "forget it all", slap a maid of honor dress on my sister and call it a day. Also, no one can complain about their dress either... well, she can, but that's because I'm finding the ugliest dress in creation to put on her

42. I almost moved to Detroit for grad school like a year ago. There's a bullet I'm glad I dodged

41. I spent most of my college career being the therapist for my department, so now when friends try to reveal their most personal thoughts and fears when they have not been solicited by me or are not necessary to the conversation, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable

40. My parents instilled in me a little too well not to answer the door when they weren't home. To this day, when I'm home alone during the day, I tend to hide in my room if someone comes to the door and I'm not expecting anyone

39.When I'm riding the bus and a young guy gives up his seat for a person who needs it more without being asked, or offers a seat to a lady or any able bodied person before sitting down himself, it makes me smile a lot because there are still considerate people in this world

38. I absolutely HATE when I'm out at a restaurant with someone and the service is slow or the waiter is rude and they allow it to affect our conversation and drag down the mood

37. I also hate people who don't tip well

36. I have never been a waitress

35. I hate faxing letters. Every time my old boss asked me to fax something for him my blood pressure started to creep up, especially if it was a new fax number. It never works. Unless its a major corporation, I'm convinced its not going to work the first time

34. Both my parents are on Facebook and its AWESOME. JIM JUST WROTE ON MY WALL

33. I used to have a myspace, but one time I clicked on the profile of someone who wanted to be my friend and my PC shut down. It might've been a freaky coincidence, but I deleted my account anyway. I re-joined a few months ago but never look at it

32. I had a LiveJournal that I wrote in EVERYDAY when I was a freshman in college and it was totally dramatic and I was miserable about my life. Now I ramble about hockey and tomfoolery in here

31. I love playing boardgames. LOVE. THEM. Always will say yes to playing them. Especially Catch Phrase and any games involving words

30. Last night I had dinner with some college friends and we exchanged bad date stories. It makes me want to go on CraigsList and find a wacko to go on a date with just for the story it would provide me. S(h)ara has a great first date story that isn't appropriate for retelling on here, but just know that it involves an abandoned Wegman's parking lot

29. I hope to meet Jason Pominville one day so then I can meet a straight man named Jason who isn't a douche or a weirdo

28. I have a freakish ability to make any child fall asleep while I'm holding them

27. I took Spanish for 8 years and still cannot speak it fluently. This frustrates me greatly

26. My dad wanted to go into acting but his parents said NO so he became a lawyer (and recently started acting again) My mom wanted to major in vocal music in college but her parents said NO (and still sings with choirs and some gigs around town). Interestingly enough, my sister has a degree in music education and her instrument is voice and I have a degree in theatre. I'm sure my sister and I will breed nothing but lawyers and speech pathologists, and thus the cycle shall continue

Wow. I have to think of 25 MORE? This will never end. But at the same time its kind of fun. To recap the things not touched upon:

1. Still no Pommer
2. Bucky Gleason hates Teppo and is therefore my sworn enemy
3. Mats had better make a decision before training camps start in like a month
4. I hope y'all enjoy whatever Olympic sport you choose to watch and become emotionally invested in
5. DREW STAFFORD IS TRYING REALLY REALLY HARD TO WIN BACK MY LOVE BY DOING CUTE NON-HOCKEY THINGS TO GET HIMSELF ONTO THE TOP STORIES ON SABRES.COM. Duly noted, Drew. This will go towards your ranking in my selection process for most adored Sabre #5. Your efforts are to be commended. I know it was a stinging blow to be so unceremoniously YANKED from your top seed in my heart, but I can see that you're intent on rebuilding our fractured relationship. Well done Staffers, well done.
6. Bye Mike Ryan! Have fun in Minsk and play well!

Am I Finally Woman Enough to Admit this?

by Anne

S(h)ara and I were chatting tonight and something finally dawned on me. What's that? A truth I haven't wanted to admit to myself, something that in the deepest corners of my HockeyHeart I know is true, but I just can't say it out loud. Something almost embarrassing and somewhat shameful to admit. So many factors tell me that its wrong, but how can it be wrong when it feels so right... sometimes?! Finally, as we sat in my car after attending a candle party, I begrudgingly said those words that we all must say one day:

"You know, I hate to say it, but if Tim Connolly wasn't injured so much, he'd be my favorite Sabre."

It's like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. A burden has left my heart.

As Rihanna and Ne-Yo say "I Hate That I Love You So", Timothy. It pains me to love you, Timmy, as my heart can't handle it when you're injured. I vividly recall the bone crushing hit that left your sweet bald noggin in a sad state for nearly a year. I was so upset about it and I couldn't bare to watch the copious replays. Then Jay McKee left me and I felt lost at alone.

Then you were gone for like 65 years, to be honest, I lost count and, while I never forgot about you, you became more of a happy distant memory. Like that boy you married in kindergarten and Harold the nerdy kid made you exchange vows over cookies and juice at snack time in the finger painting area. I remembered you fondly but the details were fuzzy. Was his name Timmy or Tommy? Did he have brown eyes or blue? Did he like chocolate chip or peanut butter?

Then you came screeching back into my life for the 2007 playoffs and it was like finding your favorite pair of jeans from high school in the back of your closet but you're scared to put them on, because what if you've gained weight and they look bad and kill your confidence? But, hey! Look! They fit great! Thus was Timmy. But, I wasn't ready to let you back in. It was through no fault of your own, it was just your injuries. :(

Then I was pinning my hopes and dreams on you for this past season... and you did well... when you could play. DAMN FREAKIN BONE SPUR.

I JUST CAN'T HANDLE THE ROLLER COASTER TIMMY! HOW CAN OUR LOVE BLOOM AND GROW LIKE THE SONG IN THE SOUND OF MUSIC IF YOU'RE ALWAYS HURT AND BONING RANDOM HUSSIES?!?

My mocking of you is only a defense mechanism, Timmers. It's only to mask the pain I feel when you're not around. I don't care how many chicks you do or what bizarre sexual fetishes you might have. I don't care, Timmy! I only really care about you when you're on skates, or in the dressing room, that's it! You can enjoy whatever recreational activities appeal to you most, I'm not here to judge, just here to love.

Here's an interesting study.

Here is Timmy's roster photo from 2006 when he was, presumably, heavily medicated and still suffering from post concussion syndrome:

Yikes.

This is Timmy when his noggin had all healed up, roster 2007:

Yay!

No player on the Sabres has given me more *HEADDESK* moments than my beloved Timmy. Why?:

Nathan Paetsch does not seem nearly as concerned as I was


I ganked this from Webshots I think. I can't tell if Timmy wants to punch Camera Dude or is trying to figure out how to get rid of him so he can do Camera Dude's girlfriend



Timmy really likes that hat.

Oh Timmers. Now that I've professed my love, you'll probably be traded. Alack and fie.

I want you to be better and play for us all next year! Or at least most of it, it's a lot to ask for someone to play 82 games. Unless you're Jason Pominville. He's played 82 games for 2 seasons in a row. That's impressive. Oh Timmy.

How ya doin' this summer? Have you been on skates yet? To use a phrase Sidney Crosby used about a BILLION times when he was hurt, have you "touched the puck" yet? Maybe that's a coy euphemism for something dirtier... well, you can do both, I don't care. I'm here to love, people, here to love. I hope that wherever you are in this world, you're healing up and getting ready to fully win my love this season. It's easy to earn my love and easy to lose it. Just ask Drew Stafford. He learned the hard way that my love is not based on physical attraction (one of my favorite Sabres is SPACEK, for god's sake) so no matter how adorable you might be, Jason Pominville, if your skillz start lacking then you'll be demoted, that's just the way things work around this House, people.

Sigh. It's a dead horse that's been beaten, but it really is frustrating as a fan to watch an excellent hockey player be rendered unable to play because of nagging injuries. Ugh. He's so good when he can play and when he can't it's totally annoying. I did actually get to see him play a couple times though. I was there for the Ottawa game when he rifled a shot off of Gerber's helmet and it totally disoriented him. Whoops. We still lost.

Whatev, I have all the confidence that he'll be back with us next season and all will be awesome. Right? RIGHT?! Just tell me I'm right and I'll shut up about it for a little while.

Job Opening: #5

by Anne

Sabretooth's House would like to announce a job vacancy that must be filled. "Anne's Top 5 Favorite Sabres" is holding a job fair to fill it's latest vacancy - a hole left open by one Mr. Steven "Big Bear" Bernier.

1. Pommer
2. Pie/ Sissy
3. Yo-yo
4. Goose
5. ____ ?

Now accepting applications. Please be sure to indicate if you have any mad love for "the system", adorably sweet interview styles, a seemingly unquenchable desire to single-handedly save the world or a startlingly frank attitude towards discussing your team's shortcomings. Also be sure to indicate your ability to make yourself available for me to swoon over you at my leisure. Players previously featured in this list will be given stricter consideration, Drew Stafford and Ryan Miller. Better not be any grammatical errors!!!

All applications will be taken between the close of training camp and the season opener with the winner to be decided shortly thereafter. Craig Rivet, this will be a difficult process for you, but I trust you'll dazzle me with your application and hockey skillz. Please don't hate Buffalo!

Pommer, Pie-YAY, Sissy, Yoyo, Goose: Sabretooth is saving us a table at the smoothie stand, let's bounce. Don't want to keep him waiting.

The rest of you: #2 pencils ONLY!

Name:

Date of Birth:

Hometown:

Totally badass nickname:

Adorable childhood anecdote about your early hockey experiences:

Your 3 favorite things about Buffalo:

How do you take your coffee:

Team you hate the most:
(the answer is Ottawa, fyi)

WHY IS ADAM MAIR SO SCARY?:
If you ARE Adam Mair, then your question is: In how many ways can I make myself less scary?:


Should you be accepted, will you help to convince Nathan Gerbe to be my Facebook friend?:

Will YOU be my Facebook friend?!?!:

When presented with the opportunity to insult a list of players I despise, what will your plan of verbal attack be? Insulting their mother? Digging into deep long-repressed childhood fears? Discussing your, um, recreational activities with said players wife/girlfriend?:

Which player currently on my list do you think you're way better than and should be kicked off the list, yes this question is a trap, the answer is NONE OF THEM OR YOU'D ALREADY BE UP THERE, DREW STAFFORD:

Please also attach any adorably awkward childhood photos, past and recent photos of you lookin' snazzy and any and all photographs that will potentially make me weak in the knees.

And that should cover it for now. Flowers, Sabres merchandise, chocolate and cars are accepted as bribes. This is not an ethical organization, people.

Oh God, Not Again

by Anne

Fine! Play the Senators tonight! See if I care!

Whatever, just lose this game, then let Thibault and Petey play the rest of the season. I'm through.

On to other news. I've heard the idea/suggestion/rumor (I don't know exactly what to call it) that the Sabres are thinking about signing Pommerdoodle to a 10 year/$40 million contract.

I have one thing to say about that:

OMG, PLEASE DO IT

Locking up Pommerdoodle for a long time would make me very, very, very happy.

S(h)ara and I had a talk last night, and I have finally confessed that I'm growing up and Drew Stafford is no longer my favorite Sabre.

I'm sorry, Staffy, but all good things must come to an end.

But, where does that leave me? I'm like the lamb without Mary, a GMC car without OnStar, a peddlar without her wares, a ship with out a-

Captain

S(h)ara was first to suggest it and I quickly denied it. No! It couldn't be! Has he really wormed his sneaky little way into my heart? Impossible. Totally preposterous. It could never ever happen. No way

Sigh, ok, like Brangelina denied their relationship until she was like 62 months pregnant, I am now forced to admit it. My new favorite Sabre is:

Jason Pominville

Why is this difficult for me to admit? Because, as we all know, it is virtually impossible for any female to love Jason Pominville based solely on his skill as a hockey player. Most women love him because they think he's hot and they think "naughty" things when they think about him.

I, on the other hand, do not think dirty thoughts when I think of Pommerdoodle. As I've mentioned previously, it is Pommer's "I make bad things go away" influence on my life that makes him appealing to me. My love is pure as the snow Danny Pie-Yay sprayed in that goaltenders face a few games ago.

I could go on, but we all know why Pommer is great, I've already highlighted all the reasons in previous posts.

If you see Staffy, let him know I'm sorry.

Here's the current breakdown of my SabreHeart (only the top lines):

Look at that, Staffy and Pommer: Goose is ready to take your place should one of you hit a slump in which you score no points, have few great plays, and just overall fail at your attempts to court me.

The next line goes as follows:

This line tends to change the most. Generally it revolves around those 3 on the top, but Patty is ready to move in, should one of you neglect your Anne's SabreHeart duties.

6 games to go! Ugh, why?

When I can't find a single star to hang my wish upon, I just move on,

By Anne

Ok, so S(h)ara is reeling from the possbility (read: inevitability) of Soupy's trade to another team in the near future (post All-Star game, but pre-deadline) So, to ease the transition, I'm helping her move on, by coaxing her into developing her love for her new favorite player:

Let's have a photo show, shall we? Each photo shall highlight a different reason to love S(h)ara's new favorite player: Derek Roy

Born May 4, 1983 in Ottawa, Ontario, He won the OHL rookie of the year award in 2000, what a guy!

From an early age, you can clearly see that Mr. Roy has S(h)ara's favorite Sabre written all over him:

He even wore Staffy's number then, how sweet. Look at those early 90's technicolor laser beams! We all had that school picture option, but Roysie's mom was ballsy enough to choose it for her bad-ass son who, clearly, can pull it off.

As little Roysie grew, he changed teams. From whatever random-ass Canadian team he was on in the above picture, to the Canadian World Junior team in 2003, along with once and future teammates, Daniel Pie-YAY and Nathan Paetsch.

So, neither of the other two in the picture are Paetsch or Pie-Yay, but you get the picture. Look how little he is! Look at the curly hair, S(h)ara!

Then, dearest Roysie went on to play for the Kitchener Rangers that year and took home the Memorial Cup as team captain:

Then, he won the Stafford Smythe award for Memorial Cup MVP:

Did Soupy ever do any of those things? Nay, I say, nay. Ok, so he won some other awards...but forget those! They don't matter now!

Then! Joy of joys! Roy of Roys! Dearest Royise was drafted! Ok so he was technically drafted before the WJC and before he won the Memorial Cup, but that doesn't matter in this timeline! Along with linemate Pommerdoodle, Royise was drafted in 2001 by our dear, beloved Buffalo Sabres!.........ok so he played for Rochester for a couple seasons first, but check out that roster photo owwwww!, can anyone say smouldering?

And then, one day, new favorite Sabre Roysie, made his way to the Buffalo Sabres line-up:

Where he has firmly remained, and shall for several more years, where we hope to see more photos like the following:

But hopefully fewer pictures like this:

Here! Learn about his house!

It is well documented that Derek Roy loves small fuzzy animals, helping the elderly cross the street, singing for orphans, and reading storybooks to blind polar bears at the Buffalo zoo. He is currently injured, and out for the near future, but one day soon, Roysie will return to the ice and take his rightful place as S(h)ara's new favorite Sabre.