Monday, June 21, 2010

NHL Awards are Actually Next, Whoops

by Anne

I said the draft was next, but I was wrong. Up next is actually the NHL Awards from Las Vegas, Nevada. Where, presumably, Patrick Kane will show up, still drunk, and in honor of Jonathan Toews extremely awkward appearance on the MMVAs last night, will be singing how he "Can't Be Tamed" at the top of his lungs while sipping his 85th bottle of Cristal. Maybe we'll be lucky and he'll pull a Kanye on Mike Green if he wins the Norris over Duncan Keith.

I, of course, want Drew Doughty to win the Norris, but a small part of me wants Keith to win it just so he has to give an acceptance speech with the gaping holes in his mouth left by his missing teeth. Hahaha hilarity.

Jay Mohr is hosting? WTF? NHL, there are lots of famous Hollywood-types who like hockey, who LOVE hockey, why is Jay Mohr the best you could do? Hell, I'd rather Jeremy Piven or Vince Vaughn hosted. Hey, Kristen Bell loves hockey, she's super cute/pretty/hot, I'm sure people would tune in to see her! Taylor Swift likes hockey, maybe she could perform? I know she's a terrible performer but at least she's popular. All I'm saying is, Jay Mohr? Really? Really.

I'm sure I'll watch it and I'm sure I'll mute it between award presentations. I'd be more excited, probably, if it wasn't already a foregone conclusion that Miller and Myers are going to take home their trophies. I'll still be SUPER PUMPED when their names are announced and they give adorably awkward self-deprecating acceptance speeches, don't you worry.

Let's make it happen.
Awwwww yeah


  1. I've been following your blog for a while - hilarious! These pictures crack me up :) I hope Miller shows up in a better tux though...

  2. Yeah Jay Mohr = weaksauce. Hasn't he said several times that he hates hockey? Good jaerb, NHL.


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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller Shutout" - A 58 minute, multi-goal shutout lead that is blown when Miller allows one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes. Because Butter Snap pretzels, like the Carolina Hurricanes, are disgusting
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Oscar - Anne's cat

Because it's never not funny

Completely adorable