Opening Night Didn't Go So Well

by Anne

Well, in brief, here is how all four of last night's games went from my perspective:

• Toronto v. Montreal: Ok, guys, we get it, you like to hit. Two fights, Mike Komisarek nearly sending himself through the glass to make a point to his former team. Habs won 4-3 in OT.

Schenner!
Look out!
Sneaky little Scott Gomez is right behind you!

• Brooks Laich(!) and Alexander Ovechkin each had two goals and the Caps defeated the Bruins 4-1. I guess that was my preferred outcome, now that we think divisionally, at least for the next few months

Oh Sissy.

• The Avalanche beat the Sharks 5-2 and Joe Sakic's number was retired. Joe Sakic, what a dude.

Darcy Tucker is REALLY excited about scoring a goal

• Also, to celebrate his hero, Matt Duchene earned himself his first NHL point, an assist on JM Liles' goal (the 5th).

• The Canucks were losing 3-0 at one point and had a nice rally, but fell victim to an empty-net goal and bad penalty killing.

Big Bear had three shots on goal and four hits
He had an assist but they took it away :(

• Steve Montador has a personality: He talks about our youngest defensemen on Saturday's Roster. He makes fun of the JBG and I'm a-ok with that, keep things loose around the kid:
  

"I've seen [Sekera] do some pretty special things," Montador said. "He's strong on his feet, has good vision and for a European guy who has English as a second language, he talks quite a bit, which is great for a partner.

"Butler plays so confident, knows he can skate and does the little things well. Then you look at a guy like Myers who's 10 years younger than me. For a guy pulling moves and skating like that when he probably hasn't shaved a day in his life is impressive to me."

• Brent Seabrook and Patrick Sharp of the Chicago Blackhawks appear to be having a European affair. Just don't tell Adam Burish who's stuck back home in Chicago with a knee injury.

Ain't they sweet?

• I love game photography:

Beauchemin: No, Luke, really, let's go left
Schenn: No, Francois, the play says move the puck up the ice
Beauchemin: I really don't think that's it
Schenn: Totally man, it is
Lapierre: If you two are finished chatting, I'll just come and take that puck...

Finally!

by Anne

Finally, there's Sabres' hockey tonight. I had to watch the Flyers beat the Thrashers, but just barely. Too bad Kovie isn't a more accurate shooter (HA!) Yo, but seriously, Philly, that was really bad. I know the Thrashers overall are a pretty shoddy team, but you don't leave Ilya Kovalchuk alone in the slot. And I mean ALONE, like no one within a stick's length of him. You deserved to lose for that alone.

DID ANYONE ELSE SEE DANNY BRIERE AND ERIC PERRIN DROP THE GLOVES?! They didn't fight, but I was so ready for it. They're both tiny, ha. At least they picked the right player to challenge. Danny claims to be 5'10" and Perrin is 5'9". Not exactly the matchup that was Ray and Domi, but I would've taken it. That'd be like Roysie fighting Kaner. Hahahahahaha! THAT I would pay to watch.

Ugh, is it wrong that I'm never confident? I'm never feeling good about things. I really think we're going to lose to Tampa tonight. I really do. All signs point to a Sabres loss:

(1) VINNY
(2) Mike Smith
(3) We don't play well under pressure...or, wait...actually, we kind of do...well, at least recently
(4) Thomas Vanek
(5) I still don't have a car

Speaking of cars, I'm looking at a 2004 Hyundai Elantra tonight, anyone have any thoughts on Elantras? It only has 27,000 miles on it.

Anywho:

This team just needs that one thing to push them over the edge, that one game or that one motivator, that one glimmering beacon on the horizon...

(Cue "2001: A Space Odyssey" music)


Wait, what's that?

It's dim and far away... too far away...


What could it be?


Wait, it's getting brighter...

No! It couldn't be!


Could it?


Are our SabreHearts so lucky?


No, not a chance...


Hold on! What's that NHL.com?


REALLY?! YOU'RE TOTALLY MESSING WITH ME, NO WAY!


YES! YES! IT'S TRUE!

He's practicing! His sternum should be fully healed by now! AHHHHH!!!!!!!

Ok, ok, its too soon to say if he'll be back in the lineup for the regular season...but he could TOTALLY pull a Timmy and be back for the last 2 games and the playoffs...should we make the playoffs...which if we don't I'll still love the team...yes, yes I will.

TEPPO!

Wait, there's STILL no Sabres game?

by Anne

Ok, hasn't it been 3 days yet? No? I haven't had 3 days of no Sabres hockey since the All-Star Weekend.

I tried to care about the Minnesota Wild v. the Colorado Avalanche but, unlike most Monday night Versus games that I watch, this one was not a catastrophic blowout with the first goal being scored less than a minute in. I was hoping Gaborik would bust out another 5 goal night in honor of me taking the time to turn on the TV and mindlessly sort of watch his team play in the background on mute while I cleaned up the mountains of clothes on my floor.

Tonight, there is a game between the Flyers and the Thrashers. Here's a refresher course in Anne's Top (Bottom?) least favorite teams:

1. Ottawa Senators (I love to hate them, I really do)
2. Toronto Maple Leafs (It's not as much fun to hate them post-lockout...but I still do it)
3. Philadelphia Flyers (My ire is long lived, eff you Philly, eff you)
4. New York Rangers (Gross. Avery, Jagr, Drury: gross. Yes, I still hold it against Jagr and his mullet that he left Pittsburgh. What?!)
5. Atlanta Thrashers (A very, very recent addition, ousting the 'Canes from this list)

So, based on this list, I should cheer for the Thrashers? Hmm, let's look at the standings:

1-7: Not the Sabres
8. Philadelphia Give us back Danny but you can keep Martys- 80 pts
9. The Greatest Team Ever - 79
10. Washington Ovechkins - 78
11. Florida Huh, You're only 2 pts back of 8th?s - 78
12. Toronto Maple Chokes - 74
13. New York Misfits - 71
14. Atlanta League Worst 246 GA, ha!s - 70
15. Tampa Bay 2/3 of a Good Line Still Lefts - 66

So, Go Thrashers? That seems wrong to say, but: Go Thrashers, none the less.

Toronto takes on the Islanders...um... Go Isles? Who cares. Neither of them are making the playoffs, sorry, SteveDangle. I still enjoy your videos and now know more about Andy Wozniewski than I ever thought possible. The fact that I even know who Andy Wozniewski is, is really a credit to you, Steve Dangle. BTW, even if you aren't a Leafs fan, and if you're reading this blog, you're probably not, his videos are funny and entertaining and its interesting to hear what non-douche bag Leafs' fans have to say.

Pens v. Rangers - GO PENS! There's no doubting how I feel about this game. The Rangers are due to choke soon, I'm banking its against Evgeni Malkin, that goal scoring freakazoid. Sidney WHO?

After Tampa on Wednesday is the dreaded "We need to finish playing all the games against our division, let's cram them all into the last 8 games of the regular season" run. Too bad we're in a very tough division. Even the Leafs (Leaves?) give us trouble from time to time. Can we temporarily trade schedules with the 'Canes? No? Ugh, fine.

How do we all feel about our renewed playoff hopes? I had begrudgingly resigned myself to being ok with hanging out in 9th for the rest of the run. Now, I'm back to: PLAYOFFS OR BUST!! This is a tough position to be in. My hockey ulcer can't handle it. No more spicy food for the rest of the season.

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Private to Thomas Vanek:

I hate you and your 9 minutes of ice time. You, our "star goal scorer" our "10 million dollar man" had the least amount of ice time of ANYONE ON THE TEAM THAT ACTUALLY DRESSED FOR THE GAME! PATRICK KALETA HAD MORE ICE TIME THAN YOU. ONLY THE SOVIET BOMBER AND THE CHICKEN HAD FEWER SHIFTS AND ONE OF THEM IS A 7 GAME ROOKIE.

What you have to show for this weekend: a -1, 2 penalties totalling 4 minutes, 2 shots and roughly 26 minutes of ice time spread out over 2 games. ARE YOU SECRETLY MIKE RYAN DRESSED AS THOMAS VANEK? HOW DO YOU MANAGE A -1 WHEN YOUR TEAM SCORES 13 GOALS? Get on it, Britney, lose some weight (you're lookin' a little soft these days), gain some confidence, start playing with that "Eff THIS" attitude you enjoy taking out and displaying occasionally. Don't treat that attitude like a Gretzky rookie card, keep it out of its protective case, use it, enjoy it, embrace it, mess around with it a little and we won't be screaming for your head if we don't make it to the playoffs. You're a fucking great hockey player, what the hell is the problem? Stop being so damn mopey and fucking play hockey. Get mad, get passionate! DO SOMETHING.

Love and kisses, Anne

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Private to Paul Gaustad:

AN 80% FACE OFF WIN PERCENTAGE ON SATURDAY? 4/5! Oh Goosie, I loves you.

Love, Anne

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Private to Pat Kaleta:

HA!

Oh, Patty, you are always good for some great pictures. I hope you're cozy up in the front of my SabreHeart, you'll definitely be there the remainder of the season. Don't laugh at Staffy, it's not nice, he's still got a tentative hold on his seat. Would you and Pie-YAY please stop putting tacks on his chair? Pat Lafontaine has been giving good repots that you haven't been annoying him, so that's good.

Love, Anne