Live Blogging the Semifinals: USA v. Russia

by Anne

I'm stealing Katebits' awesome format to do a liveblog of sorts of today's semifinal game between the United States and Russia. I hope Katebits does not mind as flattery is the sincerest form of imitation... no wait, you can lead a horse to water but you can't fold a piece of paper in half more than seven times. Yes. That's it. Watch the game with me, won't you?

Pregame

Mood: A little stressed because I'm attempting to finish a terrible paper that has to be electronically submitted by noon. Oh, the game? I'm feeling a sense of "Now we get to play for bronze!" (which is what happens if we lose today, FYI).

Favorite American: Robert Esche. I covet him from afar.

Least Favorite American: Peter Harrold. He seems useless

Prediction: Uhhh this is not going to go well for the United States. This USA team has already surprised me and this year's Russian team is without Ovechkin and Nabokov but, come on. According to some article that I didn't read on the IIHF website, history favors the United States. Really? I predict Russia wins 6-2.

College Tradition that represents how I feel this game will go: Final exam for the class I didn't attend on a consistent basis and forgot about the exam until 10 minutes before

I definitely shouldn't have been drinking the morning before this test

After the First (0-0)

Mood: Cautiously optimistic. We actually OUT SHOT the Russians in that period! There's no play by play so I feel like I'm jsut sitting in the stands watching the game. Good?

Favorite American: Patrick O'Sullivan literally shot Ilya Kovalchuk's stick straight up into the air and did not get a whistle for it. Awesome

Least Favorite American: Kyle Okposo

College tradition representing the game thus far: The Frat Party

You managed to escape without being puked on or date-raped. So far, so good.

After the Second (2-2)

Mood:This game has been very topsy turvy. After pretty much dominating the first, the USA started to look like they were going down for the count, but a late Russian penalty gave the USA a power play goal.

Favorite American: Dustin Brown. First for opening the scorind and 2nd for attempting to open-ice hit Ilya Kovalchuk and knocking yourself over instead

Least Favorite American: Still Kyle Okposo. I know he scored and all but he just looks like that annoying kid that no one on the team likes because he talks to much and cries when he gets hit in the face in dodgeball

College Tradition representing this game so far: The one friend with a car

Remember Freshman year when only the annoying girl across the hall had wheels and you needed to go to the store?
I mean, it wasn't THAT bad, but you didn't really LOVE doing it

End of the Game, Final score: Russia 3 USA 2

Mood: Disappointed. They played better than I thought they would but a late power play goal by Russia squashed their chances to advance to the gold medal game. They play either Canada or Sweden for bronze on Sunday. Loser goes home with nada.

Favorite American: David Backes. Just cuz.

Least Favorite American: Kyle Okposo. I stand by my convictions. Even though he was named the game's best player, he still annoys me.

College Tradition representing the game as a whole: Surprise! Mom came to visit and your apartment is a disaster

Just when you were enjoying your semester BOOM!
Mom comes over and has a heart attack over your messy place and you have to clean it

Game(s) 1 Day 2 or WOOOOOOOOO!!!

by Anne

When the Pens were down by three I contemplated changing the channel and playing Monopoly Jr. with the kids I was babysitting. My innermonologue in the 2nd period went something like this:

"Yo, screw THIS. CHRIS DRURY TIPPING IN A STAAL BULLET FROM THE POINT? I don't need this crud. I would only sit through this crap for Jason Pominville, and even this I don't know. How much more of this can I- Wooo! Ok, that's one, one isn't gonna do WOOOO! Ok...only down by one, maybe I'll stick around"

The third period went something like this:

"WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO - oops it's tied....WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BLARG! 15 SECONDS LEFT AND THEY TIED IT AGAI- off the goalpost? WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Geno and Sykora have been taking swing dancing lessons.

Here, they try to show their skills.

Their instructor, Ry-ry, comes over to lend a helping hand.

Things are a little off kilter in my HockeyWorld. Not only did I cheer the Stars goals, I found myself wanting them to win more and more with each passing shot on goal. I'm still motivated 90% by my desire to see the Sharks lose, rather than a desire to see the Stars win. It's a change of pace from my totally pro-Flames attitude of Round 1. The other 10% is pro-StuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUU BARNES!

Regardless, Go Stars! Of the 3 games I've watched, none of them have disappointed. So far I'm 3 for 4 on winning teams. Wooo! Come on Avs! Pick it up! I want to win my meaningless Round 2 pool!

Obligatory Sabres mention:

I love Ryan Miller because (i) he held an entire pizza during the anthems at the Wings/Avs game last night (ii) he probably ate that entire pizza (thank goodness) (iii) he makes no bones about the fact that he likes JM Liles more than he likes Brian Campbell, for those who think he's cheering for San Jose (iv) I couldn't pick JM Liles out of a line-up if my life depended on it, but I like him better than Brian Campbell.

Oh, and on the IIHF front: Ovie's playing for Russia! Wooooo!

Maybe the Russian Men's National team will do better than the Under 18s did. They lost to Canada 8-0 in the Gold Medal game. Whoops.

Round 2 and Team USA and Some Other Foolishness

by Anne


The NHL has announced the shedjwool for the Semi-Finals.


It's been officially announced that Paulie Martin of the New Jersey Devils will be joining his teammate Zachary and the rest of our Americans on Team USA this week.

It will be hard to find a picture of Mr. Martin as he shares a name with the Canadian Prime Minister:

Paul Martin: Not a professional hockey player

Paul Martin: Not the Prime Minister of Canada

Welcome Aboard, Mr. Martin. Sorry the Rangers are stinky. Sid, Geno and Ry-ry will take care of them for you.

I like percentages. Well, these percentages I don't like:

40% - percentage of teams in the playoffs that boast either Daniel Briere, Christopher Drury or Brian Campbell on their rosters

17% - chance that Briere and Drury will face each other in the ECF aka when Anne starts blindly and maniacally cheering for the Western Conference teams LET'S GO...uhhhhh...STARS!

100% - chance that if they do face each other, Versus or NHL.com or Pierre McGuire will make reference to how this is how far they both got in the last 2 playoffs, but THIS TIME ONE OF THEM WILL GO FURTHER


These percentages I do like:

100% - Recoveries that will be made by Timmy Connolly, Goose and Yo-yo following their off-season surgeries

3.3% - Percentage of teams in the NHL that have Nathan Gerbe (Guys! It's us!)

100%- my imaginary percentage of the likelihood TEPPO will be back in a Sabres Uniform next season and my imaginary percentage that Millsey and Pommerdoodle will be Sabres FOREVER!

10,000,000,000% - how much more totally RAD the Sabres are than any of those teams in the playoffs

To my fellow Office peeps: Happy Administrative Professionals Day! Wooo! I'll only be an Administrative Professional for another 17 days, so I'll enjoy(?) it while I can. Woo!

---

Private to Brian Campbell:

Screw you.

Sharks defenseman Brian Campbell played in one previous NHL Game 7 while with the Buffalo Sabres.

"It wasn't very memorable, to be honest," he said. "I try to forget about it because I didn't come out on the good side."

The Sabres lost to Carolina in Game 7 of the Eastern Conference finals in 2006.

It was pretty memorable for us. I had hoped it would be for you too. You probably should think about it more often and reflect on your mistakes...SINCE YOU LOST US THE GAME YOU DOUCHE BAG! HOW WAS THE VIEW FROM THE PENALTY BOX WHEN YOU TOOK THAT DELAY OF GAME PENALTY THAT GAVE CAROLINA THE GAME WINNING GOAL?!?!?! I can't recall you taking any delay of game penalties after THAT ONE.

Ahem, sorry. We all make mistakes, Soups. I suppose I can forgive you. Although I never 100% did for that. Maybe I'm unreasonable. Or maybe it's because DANIEL ALFREDSSON USED YOU AS A SCREEN FOR MILLSEY THAT GAVE OTTAWA THE EASTERN CONFERENCE TITLE IN 2007. YOU'RE A DEFENSEMAN! DEFEND!

I'm really glad you're gone.

Love and kicks in the teeth,

Anne