Monday, April 11, 2011

Europe Bound

by Anne

It has been announced that the Buffalo Sabres will be starting the 2011 - 2012 NHL season in Europe. 

Their opponent (for one game in Germany anyway)?

The Los Angeles Kings.

WHAT?! For real?

The conflicted emotions! The sadness! The joy! The overwhelming urge to listen to "Springtime For Hitler!" I'm all a-flutter!

On the one hand, I'm excited that my two most beloved teams will be together while traveling abroad, instituting the buddy system, sharing beers and weinerschnitzel, and whatnot. BUT ON THE OTHER! These teams only play each other once a year and I was hoping against hope to travel to Los Angeles next season to see them play. Now I'll have to cross international waters for this match-up. They'll be so far away! Europe is so far away! Curse you, continental drift. But at least they'll be together. Hopefully celebrating their fantastical deep playoff runs from a mere few months earlier.

Dear NHL:

Hello. As I'm sure your scheduler has made you all aware, the Los Angeles Kings and Buffalo Sabres have decided to begin their NHL season in Europe. It's a bold move that I hope they cleared with you before they went ahead and planned their photo-ops at the Brandenberg Gate.

I wanted to take this opportunity to offer my services as, um, uh, a fan. I guarantee you there are an EXTREMELY limited number of fans who know as much as I do about BOTH the Los Angeles Kings and the Buffalo Sabres. I think it's really in the best interest of the National Hockey League, NAY, THE FREE WORLD, that I be in attendance at this event. Heck, I'll gladly take up an empty seat on one of the team's charters. My passport is current, I'm a quick study, I can learn German, and Finnish if you'd like me to also accompany my hometown team to the wilds of Finland. Especially considering that none of the current Sabres are Finnish.

I think by not sending me to Germany, you are missing out on a golden opportunity to REALLY make an impression on the people of Europe. Anne + German Beer + Her Favorite Hockey Teams + Bullhorn + German/English Dictionary aka Jochen Hecht has international incident written all over it. 

You can't BUY that kind of publicity.

Please respond at your earliest convenience. I shall wait with bated breath.



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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller Shutout" - A 58 minute, multi-goal shutout lead that is blown when Miller allows one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes. Because Butter Snap pretzels, like the Carolina Hurricanes, are disgusting
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Oscar - Anne's cat

Because it's never not funny

Completely adorable