Monday, April 12, 2010

Anne's Grossly Inaccurate Playoff Predictions: Round 1

by Anne

Here I will publicly proclaim my predictions for the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs. I assure you each selection was a total random prediction based on nothing really deeply researched and analyzed:

Eastern Conference
#1 Washington v. #8 Montreal
Anyone who thinks Montreal is going to win is on drugs; will also be very rich if they're right.
Capitals in 5

#2 New Jersy v. #7 Philadelphia
The Flyers goaltending situation is hiLARiously awful. If Boucher can hold it together they might win one. But just one.
Devils in 5

#3 Buffalo v. #6 Boston
Injuries will be a huge factor and fortunately the Bruins have the worst of it.
Sabres in 6

#4 Pittsburgh v. #5 Ottawa
Anyone who bets against the Pens is outta their mind.
Pens in 6

Western Conference
#1 San Jose v. #8 Colorado
I know the Sharks are lame playoff first rounders but I don't think the Avs have what it takes.
Sharks in 6

#2 Chicago v. #7 Nashville
The Predators have the edge in goaltending btu that's about it.
Blackhawks in 6

#3 Vancouver v. #6 Los Angeles
I just don't know if Quickie has it in him. Luongo hasn't looked great. Both teams are deep.
Canucks in 7 :(

#4 Phoenix v #5 Detroit
As nice as it would be to see the Coyotes progress and the Red Wings lose, I don't see it happening.
Red Wings in 7 

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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller Shutout" - A 58 minute, multi-goal shutout lead that is blown when Miller allows one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes. Because Butter Snap pretzels, like the Carolina Hurricanes, are disgusting
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Oscar - Anne's cat

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