Saturday, April 12, 2008

Things that are Different in a Sabre-less Existence

by Anne

Ok, so to remind myself what it's like to be without SabreHockey for like 4 MONTHS (or whenevskis they'll be back in town) I'm going to do what I usually do when a relationship ends.

Here are the things I can do now that the Sabres are no longer a part of my life:

  • Enjoy other, sexier teams

Ok, there really is no team sexier than the Buffalo Sabres. I know he broke my heart, but I still love his moves. However, there is the possibility of (temporarily) finding another team as sexy as the Buffalo Sabres. That fetching Jarome Iginla is quite tempting. What's that, Ryan Malone? You want to take our relationship to the next level? The semi-finals? The conference finals? The CUP finals? Whew, Ry-ry, slow down. Jarome! Please! Calm yourself. I'm only one woman. I may not be ready for this. I'll need to ease my way back into the dating scene. Woo! Those beards best be comin' in nicely. Actually Ry-ry already has one. He's growing one for him and Sid.

  • Stroll through Western New York, fully confident I will not run into any Buffalo Sabres

This is actually always a possibility my friends, there are many Sabres that shop at the same grocery store where I shop. Does this mean I get dressed up if there's an outside chance I might see one of them? Of course not. Does it occur to me once I'm already in the store that its probably a night off and tomorrow is a home game and they just came off of a road trip and there's an outside chance and maybe I shouldn't have worn a t-shirt from my high school production of "Annie" and my hair up in a crazy bun? Yes. (This bulleted point also applies to dry cleaners, malls, bars and clubs) Just the other day I ate brunch at the same place as Jim Corsi, our BA goal tending coach. FYI, he'll be at the World Championships working with the Italian National Team.

  • Enjoy warm summer evenings outside of my house

This, I still do, playoffs or not, but now there is no possibility I'll be missing crazy Sabres News, goals, games or even shenanigans. It'll be slammin'. However, there really isn't much better than listening to Rick call a playoff game while sitting on your front porch with your dogs and its 70 degrees out. :( Next year!

  • Explore the possibility of other sports

Pfft, just because I CAN, doesn't mean I will. Unless its the Summer Olympics, then I might watch. I particularly enjoy the swimming events. And, of course the World Championships. Not that I can watch any of them, but I'll follow my Sabres I mean, whatever random players I happen to find I enjoy from Finland, Slovakia, Austria, the Czech Republic, the USA, Canada and possibly Russia, but not Sweden. Wait...that's the same sport. I'm a one note samba.

  • Pin all my dreams on Steven Stamkos or Zach Bogosian or Drew Doughty some how not being drafted in the first 12 picks...

Ok, so this is more than kind of Sabres-related, but when they put all these fun things to watch in the summer time, how can I resist? I can't just quit cold turkey! I need to know who our tasty young prospects are! We get our highest pick in years (what a catch-22 system) Remember when we got the 5th overall pick? Yikes. Well, that was Britters, so it all worked out. Staffy was a 13th pick. Actually, we're not talking about Staffy anymore, he's not playing up to snuff. Groin.

  • Stop spending HOURS on eBay trying to score cheap tickets to Sabres' Games

I can't tell you how much money I've spent on games this season. And then AT the games, how much money on beer, food, random crap. Not to mention the other memorabilia I've bought this season. It's totally ridiculous and totally worth every penny. I mean, NO! You didn't make the playoffs! I want my money back!....or a smoothie. What is up with me and smoothies?

  • Cease checking 10 times a day

In the summer, they update that thing like once every 6 days to tell you no contracts have been announced and that a Sabre will be appearing at random charity events in Alberta. Will I still check it every day? Of course I will, hoping against hope that we've signed Pommers to the airtight "you ain't goin' nowheres" contract of my dreams.

  • No longer have to endure that awful "Stop Smoking" commercial that plays on MSG

Kudos to MK for pointing this one out. She has a violent reaction to this commercial, usually involving screaming and flailing. On a related note- has anyone noticed how much more enjoyable MSG games are not that we're not subjected to Brian Campbell telling us not to neglect our leg problems, no matter our profession? I think I sweat less just knowing he's not around anymore. Thanks, Soupy!

  • No more listening to sad players give sad interviews (or angry)

There really isn't much I hate more than post-loss interviews. The players are always so depressing. With the obvious exception of Pommerdoodle, he's never depressing. I only recall him being angry once, the same game when Soupy was like crying and shaking and Millsey might have actually killed some of his teammates (Timmy....?)

Ok, I think I can do all of those things. Phew. I made the foolish, foolish mistake of listening to part of the WGR press conference with Darcy & Co. I listened for maybe 3 minutes before I decided I'd had enough. It's all so doom and gloom and I feel like Darcy is being asked questions about Daniel Paille's contract status with the same intensity people use when questioning Hillary Clinton about her health care policies. That's not pleasant to listen to.

Day 4 of the NHL playoffs has kicked off, Nashville at Detroit, right now!


  1. You could also be watching almost Sabres tonight. 2 of Boston College's players are Sabres prospects and they are playing in the NCAA championship tonight.

  2. Comment version 2.0-

    (This bulleted point also applies to dry cleaners, malls, bars and clubs)

    awsome! I wish I could run into Sabres in my daily life, just to see them being normal people. But I live wwaaaaaaay out in the boonies so there's no chance. I did see Rob Ray at the zoo one day last fall. that was pretty sweet.

    My little sis went to the same tanning salon as Sergei Fedorov when he was in Columbus. He came in one day while she was there so she got his autograph because he's our older sisters favorite player ever. I gotta say I'm jealous but I still think it's hilarious that he was tanning!

    sorry random tangent..

    what is a summer without hockey? Well without the Sabres anyway. There is still hockey going on and it's still worth watching, at this point. I hope it's not like last year when I didn't even watch a game of the finals (first time in 14 years that happened!) because I despised both of the teams that were playing.

  3. Great suggestions for how to survive a summer without the boys in Blue and Gold!

    *"Enjoy other, sexier teams"
    This is probably my favortie - I love finding hidden pretty boys in the playoffs! Jarome is winning me over more and more every day with his heart-stopping smile, taking me back to my early teens ("OMG Jarome just totally smiled at me!")

    But I have a confession to make. I've been flirting with the dark side...I kinda sorta really like...Mike Fisher.

    I know he's a big bad Senator, but I've decided that pretty eyes and flowing hair may just be enough to make me conveniently forget who he plays for...

    *"With the obvious exception of Pommerdoodle, he's never depressing"

    Except last year when we got eliminated. His press conference was so endearingly emotional - he kept telling reporters "We meant well." I just wanted to snuggle him!


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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller Shutout" - A 58 minute, multi-goal shutout lead that is blown when Miller allows one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes. Because Butter Snap pretzels, like the Carolina Hurricanes, are disgusting
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Oscar - Anne's cat

Because it's never not funny

Completely adorable