Saturday, February 16, 2008

What the HELL was THAT?

by Anne

Boys, I did something today I haven't done since your abysmal loss to LA in December: I turned off the game before it was over.

Every Sabre must now clean some part of my apartment. There are 24 of you, so it shouldn't take long. Britney, you scored a goal so you get an easy job. You can organize the pantry. Millsey, I love you, but you have to clean the litter box. Oh, T-Bo you were actually pretty solid in net so you can sweep the kitchen floor. Everyone else: Laundry! Scrub the bathroom floor! Scour the tub! Wash the windows! Clean the fridge! And then when you're finished you can apologize to Oscar. He was so traumatized by the loss that not even his swanky new bowls or kitty apartment I bought him could cheer him up. He actually jumped on my lamp for a post-dinner snuggle. He NEVER does that before like 9:00p p.m. See?:

Oh, I'm wearing a Sabres' head was cold. I also got new glasses this morning, ain't they swanky? They're red.

Um, yeah, so I'm gonna need you to go ahead and not play like that tomorrow. That'd be great. Millsey, maybe you just needed a day off. But, you could've just asked, you didn't have to take a nap in goal. I keed! I keed! But you do get the T-OC for the game. Don't take it personally. You, well, kinda stunk out loud today. Just take a break, we all still love you, but that was....pretty unimpressive.

Soupy and Sissy also get the grosser jobs, Soupy you have to clean the toilet (I had the stomach flu yesterday, enjoy) and Sissy you have to clean Oscar's litterbox. Millsey, you can wash the dishes instead (they're still gross and there's a lot of them), I've decided I'm more mad at the defensemen than you, but you still have to sit in the T-OC. Soupy and Sissy, you were both -4 on the evening. -4? WOW.

Granted, the Rangers had a lot of things working in their favor, they had a CRAZY long break between games, Shanahan was back and well, they're all feelin' swell because Henrik signed that big extension just the other day. Soooooo...well, they had many factors working in their favor... but that's no excuse to lose like that.

We'd all better pray to the gods of hockey that Boston loses tonight. Oh ... they're playing Toronto ... wwwwweeeeeeell ... it could happen!

At least my friend Scott is happy about tonight's win. He texted me to inform me. But its only fair, I texted him the last time we beat the Rangers.

I'm going to go comfort my poor distraught kitten.

1 comment:

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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller Shutout" - A 58 minute, multi-goal shutout lead that is blown when Miller allows one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes. Because Butter Snap pretzels, like the Carolina Hurricanes, are disgusting
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Oscar - Anne's cat

Because it's never not funny

Completely adorable