And the Winners Are

by Anne

Some thoughts from the Awards show:

Dear sweet Ovie looked like a kid who got lost on the way to the prom. Did Tuxedo Junction hook him up? There was so much shiny red vest and tie going on, I couldn't handle it. Iggy appears to have gone to the same tailor, but they gave him white with black polka dots or something.

I was pleasantly surprised by how genuine Ovie seemed in his speeches. Genuine but boring. He was annoyingly humble. I wanted him to celebrate the Hart and the Pearson the same way he celebrates his goals. They should've put in some glass for him to throw himself into after his name was announced.

When Ron McLean interviewed Iggy in the audience, it was strange. Not gonna lie. NOT THAT I DON'T ENJOY ALL THE IGGY FACETIME I CAN GET. But it was like everyone was acknowleging that Ovie had already won and they wanted to give Iggy a chance to make his speech he probably hadn't prepared. IGGY!!!!! I STILL LOVE YOU! CALL ME!!

Pavel Datsyuk looks a lot like a kid I went to college with. I've never acknowledged this before on here, but it always throws me off.

As if trying to KILL ME, the man who introduced the Lady Byng decided to write the great American Novel while yammering his way towards the nominee video. Like, for serious, it was like the event organizers wanted people to care even less about the Lady Byng than most already do. I, of course had pinned all my HOPES AND DREAMS ON POMMER'S NAME APPEARING ON THAT TROPHY. But that's ok, Pavel Datsyuk. You're no where near as adorable and lovable as Cap'n Pommers. So PHOOEY ON YOU. POMMERS IS BETTER THAN YOU IN EVERYWAY POSSIBLE. I BET HIS GIRLFRIEND IS WAY HOTTER THAN YOUR GIRLFRIEND! If they gave out an award for the player who most embraces "The System" Pommer would win every year. The award for player who gives the most upbeat post-game interviews when staring into the face of a 7-2 loss? Pommer. The award for the player who most makes me feel like he makes bad things go away and makes rainbows appear after rainstorms? Jason Pominville. The award for the player with the most adorably doofy smile? Pommer. OMG DID YOU ALL SEE HOW UNBELIEVABLY ADORABLE HE LOOKED? I didn't really get a chance to see his lady, but the girl sitting next to him for the approximately 2 seconds we saw her, she looked pretty foxy, so, well done, possibly future Mrs. Pommerdoodle. I'm jealous of your life.

Trophy 2 of 3 that I cared about was the Jack Adams. No one pulled their team out of the basement more than Bruce Boudreau. He was a minor league coach who came in and coached a young, uneven team to a division title. Granted, it was a crappy division, but they were the best of the crappy. Yay Bruce! My mom was excited because he used to coach in Hershey and my mom grew up about 45 minutes from there. It doesn't take much for my mom to find deep, meaningful connections to random people, places and things.

Trophy 3 of 3 was the Calder. I was excited, but I knew Kaner was going to win, so I wasn't as nervous about it. That glorious Buffalo flat "a" vowel accepting an NHL Award did do wonders for my overall health and well-being though. It was a nice touch for him to give a shout-out to Buffalo, especially since he's probably been here since the World Championships ended and he knows that he'll catch slack if he didn't mention us. Yes, we in Buffalo are cracked out like that.

Vinny Lecavalier is one of the most attractive men on earth. What is not attractive is that buzz cut. I know he just had surgery and all, but, really? No. He must be single... or hate his girlfriend. Vinny's hair is one of his top 10 physical attributes, why would you change perfection? No one goes up to the Statue of David and tells him to put on some clothes. On that note, Vinny, I think you should strive to be more like the Statue of David each day. Start by being naked all the time. See how Tampa Bay embraces this habit. You may want to wait until after your hospital wing is dedicated. Being naked in front of a bunch of kids is probably not the way to win anymore King Clancy's. Just sayin'.

---

Private to whoever gave those kids who sat on stage those jerseys:

"Lidstrom" not "Lindstrom".

Wasn't that embarrassing.

You're fired.

Love,
Anne

Hockey is Complicated

by Anne


What an evening of hockey THAT was.


WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! The only down side was that Versus and HNiC were broadcasting the Pens game, and neither of them broadcasting the Stars/Sharks game. I had to watch on Yahoo.com.


I really bring the Pens good luck, lol. The last game I started watching 1/2 way through it was 3-0 and they came back and won. Tonight I went out to dinner and came back 1/2 way through just to see the Rangers tie it at 3. Then they won this one. If only I had the same effect on my boys in blue and gold. Ahhhhhh. The Penguins are my regular season "other woman". It's nice to show my love for my hockey mistress this time of year, but we all know where my heart belongs.


And:


WOOOOOOOO!! Go Stars! YO, SHARKS! Do NOT mess up StUUUUUuuuuuUUUUU BARNES. Norstrom will eff you up by scoring a goal, which he's never done in the playoffs before this series. HA! He's got Nabby's number.


I haven't missed a Pens game thus far and they've won them all. The Stars have won every game that I've watched at least part of...iiiiiiinteresting.


Montreal has let down Sabres fans across the board. Most Sabres fans have been pulling for Montreal, which makes sense to me (they don't constantly wipe the floor with us, they for the most part aren't dirty players, etc.) and if the Pens weren't in this, I'd probably be pulling for them too. Yo, Montreal, what is the DEAL? You were so scary and good in the last part of the season and now you're falling apart....wait, are you secretly San Jose?


Oh yeah, the Avs lost to the Red Wings. I'm only disappointed because I thought the Avs might do it, based on how much Detroit struggled in the first round.....apparently not.


It was like I forgot Peter Forsberg played for the Avalanche. He was out for the first 2 games and I couldn't remember why I disliked the Avs so much. Then they showed him on the bench last night and I shuddered. I definitely should've picked the Red Wings. If for no other reason than I might get to hear more interviews with Zetterberg.


Thank goodness Ryan Miller was named to the NHLPA Goalie Equipment Working Group so I have something mildly Sabres related and relevant to discuss. I'm enjoying reading about Team USA, but mostly I'm grasping at straws over here.

On a related note: Here's a nice article about Kaner over in Camp USA. My favorite quote:

“Growing up my favorite player was Joe Sakic, and the game I scored my first goal, I was named first star and he was named second star,” Kane said. “Things like that hit you, and after that you’re like, ‘Wow, is this happening?’ ”

Yes Kaner, it is.

Anyhoot, does the name of this committee Millsey's on sound like a category in some sort of bizarre ice hockey themed dog show to anyone else?


Basically its 3 goaltenders (Brodeur, Pretty Ricky and Millsey) and 2 forwards (Heatley and Cammalleri) plus 3 people who aren't players including Brett Hull (ugh). They'll yammer on about the size of goaltender equipment being scaled back or being made out of tashcan lids or whatevs. They really should have J.S. Giguere on this committee. It looks like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is in net for the Mightily Mighty Ducks that are Mightily of Anaheim.


See?:

I am proud to announce that Iggy was nominated for the Hart Trophy.

This is his 3rd nomination. He came in 2nd in his previous at bats. There ain't no way Iggy's gonna win. Naming a 3rd nominee was almost a formality it seems. Most commentators have basically gift-wrapped the Hart and handed it to Ovie already, with a couple tossing it Malkin's way. It's ok, they had excellent seasons, but then again, Iggy did too, just not in the same explosive way. 50 goals ain't nothin' to sneeze at. It's ok, Iggy, you'll win my Heart! (Ha, see what I did there?)


If Bruce Boudreau isn't nominated for the Jack Adams Award, I will be irate.

Do I need to elaborate all the statbit-istical reasons he needs to be nominated? Look at his little face! He's so cute! He is without a doubt the most adorable coach in the NHL. Er, um, no offense Lindy.

: None taken, I know you think I'm tops.

: It's true, Lind-o, I do. You're still my main man.

: Thanks...is that you as a South Park character?

: Why yes, yes it is. Thank you for noticing.

: Any time. What are you holding?

: It's a Sabre....duh.

: Wow.