Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Open letters continued

by Anne

Dear David Backes,

Hey Buddy!

I see you got my previous letter.

Just wanted to drop you a note and say thanks for picking up the pace. You have thirteen points in 30 games this season which is vastly improved over your three in 16 you had before. You now have more points that Matt Greene, truly an accomplishment. You're still not up to the pace I'd like you to be, but I will take this improvement as a victory.

I must give credit where credit is due. Even when you weren't scoring you were still hitting everything in sight and winning  a lot of faceoffs. My fantasy league counts those things too so, thanks for that. I'm glad I didn't drop you from my team. Nine points in your last nine games makes me a happy Fantasy team owner.

Keep on keepin' on.

Love,

Anne


Look how foxy.
Well done.
Also, love the embelleshed hair accessory, earrings and no necklace
Tres chic, Mrs. B


I have a few additional letters to send out.

Dear Los Angeles Kings,

Yesterday I purchased my very first Los Angeles Kings jersey. Yes it's an old CCM jersey and it was on sale at a discount store but it was still a Kings jersey available for sale in BUFFALO (technically Niagara Falls) and I thought that might mean something to you.

Instead you went and lost to the Canucks who used to be my favorite Western Conference team. However, I don't see any CANUCKS logos in this blog's banner, do YOU? (Stop looking so hard, Brad Richardfail, there aren't any there).

Granted, for my fantasy team's sake, I appreciate that Kesler and Raymond scored, HOWEVER, Quickie monster is also one of my fantasy goalies. Granted, I lead our league in wins thanks to Quickie and Bryz but STILL.

Tonight against the Oilers you will be without Stoll, Smyth, Simmonds and Segal. Oh dear. But Corey Elkins is playing tonight? Oh brother.

Just try to hold it together.

Love,
Anne

Dear Terry Murray:

Don't play Quickie tooooo much. Why is he playing against Edmonton tonight in back to backs? Sense this does not make.

Ersberg may not be great but he's won two of the three games he's started. Let Quicker rest.

Love,

Anne


  Can't you see he's tired?


Dear Matt Greene,

Remember that time you scored the game winning goal the night before (American) Thanksgiving and you were in Edmonton and I wasn't watching?

I'll totally be watching tonight if you'd like to score again. I know that's asking a lot but I believe you can do it.

Love,
Anne


Make Papa Greene proud, Matthew


Dear bobby pin I found on my dresser,

Thanks for letting me use you to fix my headphone jack on my Macbook. Without you, I'd be like my sister who didn't have working speakers for two years or something like that because she clearly never googled "Red light, headphone jack, Macbook" which helps you figure out how to fix the problem.

Thanks for holding my hair in place and sacrificing yourself in this endeavor.

Love,

Anne

Today's first star

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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller Shutout" - A 58 minute, multi-goal shutout lead that is blown when Miller allows one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes. Because Butter Snap pretzels, like the Carolina Hurricanes, are disgusting
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Oscar - Anne's cat

Because it's never not funny

Completely adorable