Tuesday, December 22, 2009

I need to rinse my mouth out with soap

by Anne

By all accounts that game was pukey and gross. However, we won that pukey gross game and it's hard to be too bitter about that fact.

I would like to propose the following trades:

Derek Roy to Vancouver for Daniel Sedin
Tim Connolly to Vancouver for Henrik Sedin
Thomas Vanek to Columbus for Rick Nash
Drew Stafford to Los Angeles for Wayne Simmonds (this way I can keep an eye on him)
Clarke MacArthur to Pittsburgh for Sidney Crosby
Jason Pominville to San Jose for Dany Heatley

I think these trades are reasonable and justifiable.

If I cannot have these trades, I propose the following:

Any of them for a corresponding number of puck freezers, skate sharpeners or rolls of stick tape.

Yes I know Derek Roy scored, but I think I could've scored that goal if left completely alone like that in front of a goaltender for 10 minutes like Royzie was. I swear, he could've written the game recap in the time it took for anyone to notice him, and by then the puck was in the back of the net.

I can't wait for Darcy to make a (probably very minor) deadline-day trade! I hope it's one of the above.

Ryan Miller is awesome, he PWNS the Leafs and he will some day rule us all, etc. etc.

Could those people at the ACC look less interested in this game?

I really should be more excited about a Sabres victory. I was excited when they won but it certainly wasn't a pretty game.


  1. NO! Not the soap!!!! It can give you soap poisoning and make you go blind!

  2. I'm planning a mid-season trade, Pominville and Paetsch for Kovalchuk. Pretty sure it'll fly.

  3. No way to Heatley. He was a Senator for so long it would be the equivalent of nailing a bad-luck talisman to the Sabres' lockerroom door. Also, I think he enjoys being a pain in the ass.

    No to the weirdo Sedins too, though I'm fine with losing Connolly and Roy.

    And I loathe Kovalchuk (not entirely sure why.)

  4. You'll have to pry Simmonds out of Dean Lombardi's cold, dead hands. That kid slept on his couch last year!


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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller Shutout" - A 58 minute, multi-goal shutout lead that is blown when Miller allows one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes. Because Butter Snap pretzels, like the Carolina Hurricanes, are disgusting
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Oscar - Anne's cat

Because it's never not funny

Completely adorable