Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Yesss New Roster Photos

by Anne

I absolutely love roster photo day. Who shines? Who smiles with their eyes? Who suffers from that dreaded disease Roster Photo Panic, more commonly known as RPP?

Unfortunately, most of these boys seem to be better prepared for these photos. No one looks like they slept in the car last night, there's the standard "cut by a weed whacker" hockey hair, vacant stares and odd lighting. However, let's check out some high (and low) lights:

Oh Sir Christopher
You could use a trim, but I'll forgive you

Aww Pie's all growed up.
He got himself hitched this summer.

Awwww, Little Foot always mixes up his photos.
This is tiny because there's no watermark

Felix has a remarkably thick neck
And a remarkably vacant facial expression

Jacob Lagace looks like he took a puck to the head, someone pulled a jersey on him and pushed him in the direction of the stool and he almost missed.

The photographer told all the Kings to put their hands on their lap and lean slightly forward
Dewey complied

Greener did too

All the Oilers roster photos look like they were taken in a bathroom

Aww, Matt Duchene's first NHL roster photo

I could not come across rosters for many other teams, so many of my other WCBs don't have roster photos up yet or they're not hilarious or adorable.

Wooooo. Hockey is almost here! Fo' Reals. The Canucks beat the Islanders 2-1 in the Hockeyville game last night. Hooray!


  1. Oh my. Some of those photos are beyond describable. Why does it look like some of them have really small heads in comparison to their bodies? It's very strange.

    I'm kind of sad that there's no massive grin from Tim Connolly this year, that he's passed that mantle onto Adam Mair. Goose and Millsy look good, as does Staffy.

  2. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmkizzleSeptember 15, 2009 at 9:16 PM

    Why do all the players have those translucent beards? And please tell me that man named Felix is not actually a Sabre...

  3. Felix Schutz (blogger pun beams activate!) is indeed a Sabre. He's been playing over in Germany the past few years.

  4. I made my way over to Getty Images after seeing this post and all I can say is "Oh, my." There are some truly frightening roster photos this year.

  5. HAHA! Jacob looks freakin' highlarious. They all look like they're wearing blimps.


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Almost all pictures are borrowed from other sources. If they're yours and you don't want me to use them, just shoot me an email and I'll take them down.

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anniebeeswax [at] gmail [dot] com

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller Shutout" - A 58 minute, multi-goal shutout lead that is blown when Miller allows one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes. Because Butter Snap pretzels, like the Carolina Hurricanes, are disgusting
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Oscar - Anne's cat

Because it's never not funny

Completely adorable