Saturday, June 7, 2008

Go On Without Me, World

by Anne

Alas, I toil away in Pennsylvania. Babysitting the cousins, attending a memorial service, acting as chauffeur, all that good stuff.

My Buffalonian blood is not used to this kind of heat and humidity, I swear it hasn't been below 80 the entire time we've been here, day and night. God bless central air. Glorious, glorious central air. I challenge anyone in Buffalo to name 3 people they know personally who have central air in their home. Yeah, that's what I thought. We're about 100 miles north of the Mason-Dixon line, and you can feel it. Yuck. Heat is gross.

I love that, all of a sudden, now that they've lost, everyone is just NOW starting to obsess over the fact that this young team of Penguins stars, will, shockingly, not all be together for eons to come. Duh. I mean, did all hockey writers just collectively choose to ignore this fact?

Much like Y2K, any idiot could've seen this coming.

Do you think they have enough cap space for Marc-Andre Fleury, Evgeni Malkin, Jordan Staal, Ryan Malone, Marian Hossa and Sidney Crosby? Not unless they all take ENORMOUS discounts, I'm guessing at least 1/2 of that list will not be Penguins very soon. It's just not possible. Gronk's entry level contract will be expiring soon, as will Geno's. Buh-bye to at least 1 of them. Gronk will be cheaper, although, we'd DEFINITELY take him in a Sabres' uniform, if you're finished with him, Sid.

Is it weird that for some reason, I really want the Sabres to draft Jared Staal? It's like we'll be part of some fancy exclusive Eastern Conference club. We'll totes be in the in-crowd. AWESOME.

Then again, I'm not sure I'd want to hear raunchy stories about the babiest of the Staal's getting his swerve on in the bathroom at Bada-Bings.

Sidnote, that picture of Zetterberg drinking out the Cup on is creeping me out beyond words. Please, take it down.

Everyone needs to sit down for this announcement. Get ready, I know we'll all be on the edge of our seats:

On Tuesday (6/10) at 1:00 p.m. the Portland Pirates are having a press conference to announce their new NHL affiliate.


I bet it's Buffalo! Don't ask me how I know these things, it's a gift.... or its because, somehow, EVERYONE HAS KNOWN FOR MONTHS THAT THEY'D BE OUR NEW AHL TEAM.

I mean, COME ON. Anaheim has even announced that they're new affiliate is in Des Moines. Little closer to Anaheim will probably make call-ups a little easier.

It was probably so nice for Darcy when our team was less than an hour's car ride away, now... not so much.

Who wants to go to Portland and watch a game?!?! Maybe they'll play the Amerks and we can go and check 'em out this season. Who's with me?!?!?

Back to civilization tomorrow! Woo!

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Almost all pictures are borrowed from other sources. If they're yours and you don't want me to use them, just shoot me an email and I'll take them down.

The Los Angeles Kings logo and Buffalo Sabres logo used in the title bar are registered trademarks of the National Hockey League; no copyright infringement is intended. If anyone is offended by anything I've written, get over it, it's a personal blog, not an accredited news source.

anniebeeswax [at] gmail [dot] com

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller Shutout" - A 58 minute, multi-goal shutout lead that is blown when Miller allows one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes. Because Butter Snap pretzels, like the Carolina Hurricanes, are disgusting
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Oscar - Anne's cat

Because it's never not funny

Completely adorable